I don’t typically do New Year’s resolutions, and I suppose by this time, a lot of people have already given up on theirs. As so many people have pointed out, it’s almost impossible to get somebody to change drastically by will alone. Certainly, will is a part of that, and wanting to change is part of that. However, resolving to go to the gym five times a week when this is a total change from one’s routine is setting ones’ self up for failure. Sure, some people manage it, but most people are going to be discouraged after a few weeks and give up.
This isn’t to say that the goal isn’t laudable, but the path there isn’t practical. (Yes, I was listening to Jordan Peterson again, but he’s got some really interesting things to say. This isn’t exactly what he says, but it got me thinking.) When people want to make a change, even a small change for the better is good. However, to enact change takes some strategy and planning; rather than signing up for the gym plan, making time in one’s schedule for ten minutes of walking every day is probably a much more attainable goal.
For years, for a variety of reasons, I’ve basically quit reading books. It annoyed me a lot, and last year I bought a LOT of books. This year, not necessarily as a resolution, but because there’s so much I want to read, I’m trying to switch things around a bit to make that more possible, by telling myself that there’s a certain time that the chores should generally be done, and if they’re not, letting some of it go. Furthermore, I’m telling myself that even if I only manage ten pages, it’s better than nothing, but that it’s important to read from a book every day. I’ve also been using bookmarks to hold my place (to cut down on the time it takes to search for it) and I got myself a clip-on book light to improve lighting at night (they are remarkably improved from even 15 years ago!) We’ll see what happens.
Another thing I’m working on trying to change is getting chores under control. It seems like no matter what I do, I’m playing whack-a-mole with what needs to be done. If I catch up on folding laundry (which almost never happens), then something else falls apart, and at the end of the day (week, month, year) I’m completely frustrated and discouraged. I started using an app a couple of years ago, and that’s helped some. One of the neat things, though, is that the app has a timer, and can give you an “average time” of a task. Not that this works for everything, but I think I need to switch from “I need to work in this room until it’s done” to “I’m going to spend an hour on this now and come back to it next week.” Hopefully, if there’s a bunch of things that get an hour here or an hour there, things will feel better.
Another part to this is trying not just to get the daily/weekly things done, but to try to do something that’s longer-term along the way as well. With the app, I can schedule something for pretty much as much time as I want between actions, but it’s not terribly in sync right now.
This may sound like I’m contradicting what I said above about leaving things go, but there’s an interesting point that Peterson makes (assuming I have this right) about how, when we do things with the future in mind, it’s a form of loving one’s future self. In practice, if I take the time to finish putting the groceries away after getting back from the store, it’s saving the future me time (and possibly injury) from tripping over the jugs of apple juice. Again, there’s a balance – sometimes, there are decently good reasons that the things get left for later, but that it shouldn’t be anywhere near one’s “default mode”.
I know, I know, there’s nothing terribly earth-shattering – or even new – in all of this chatter, but I’ve always struggled with being able to be disciplined over the long haul, which makes creating the structure for that even harder. So maybe it starts here, just spending a bit of time every day reading, spending a chunk of the day with house chores so that they’re not completely overwhelming all the time, and getting to the point where it’s easier to write and do other things. It seems so much like the past couple years, especially, have been busy with taking care of one “fire” or another, and I’m exhausted. Giving up isn’t an option. Reviewing strategy, though, does seem to be necessary.
(P.S. Someone requested a list/post on books on my “to be read” list, and I’ll hopefully get to doing that soon!)
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Breath of Hallelujah 
To your point about using a timer, our family used to do that when we would occasionally do a “blitz” type of clean up, back when my husband and I and five children lived in a small house, and were homeschooling.
Of course we were always busy with some project or book we were reading, or game, etc., and didn’t want to stop and do housework. So I would set the timer for five minutes, and we would start our game, of quickly seeing how many items we could put back in their places. Often I was the director: James, take this sweater and hang it in the closet; Mary, gather all the books from the floor and put them back in the bookcase, and so on.
Five minutes is a short period of time, and goes by fast, but the amount of work that can be done is surprising. Even the toddler can get in on the fun by accomplishing a simple task. At the end of the session, people could go back to whatever they were doing, and everyone was cheerier because they had worked together at a task, just long enough to tidy up and raise the morale of the group, with a job well done, and a pleasanter environment.
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