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Sunday Gratitude – 5.IV.2026

To those celebrating today – Christ is Risen! – Happy Easter!
And then there are the “weird” ones here who are still waiting another week, among which I count myself. There have been a lot of services already – yesterday, I think I was in church for nearly four hours. I’ve really struggled this Lent; from the beginning, I felt less ready for it than most years and this year… wow. For the greater part of Lent, I believed that the Orthodox were also going to be celebrating Pascha today, and it was only looking at the calendar more carefully a couple of weeks ago when I realized that no, there’s a one-week difference. I don’t know. I wasn’t expecting to spend so much time in church this weekend, but I was at vigil last night, and I certainly had the feeling of moving from the darkness into the light, and by the time the service was over, there was an air of hopefulness and joy there. For that I am grateful. (My brain did fight against this on the way home, though. *sigh*)
I am grateful for the more spring-like weather, and the opportunity to be outside. I’m also grateful for my neighbor who invites me to come walking with her.
I am grateful for friends who take the time to talk even in the rain.
I am grateful for making it home in a storm the other day; I wasn’t expecting it, then all of a sudden, I was driving down this country highway with lightning flashes all around. I don’t think that they were very close, as there was only a tiny bit of thunder, but what a show! The next day, driving down those same roads, I could actually see how high the water is, and I’m grateful that there were no issues with low-lying stretches of road or the bridges.

Time to take the Christmas wreath down! I am thankful to have had a little bit of time to be outside with my kids, and I’m thankful that they have places around that they can enjoy riding their bikes through, and that they’ve been fine with this “exploring”.
I am thankful for the joy of singing.
I am thankful for the things that are showing signs of life (and even blooming) even after a very cold winter and long periods of neglect.
I am grateful for the opportunity to have been in contact with a number of people on this day, in the joy of Easter.
I am grateful for yet another sign that I’m not alone through the hard stuff.
Thank you so much for being here! Christ is Risen!

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Sunday Gratitude – 29.III.2026

I really hate it when it seems like I blink and yet another week has passed. Somehow so much of this time ends up feeling like a blur, and it seems like all that is left is a growing list of things that should have been done long ago, but haven’t been done yet.
In the meantime, though, I’ve been trying not to lose a sense of gratitude, and to also try to make the most of the days at hand. We’ve had a couple of days that have hit 70F, which has been amazing, and especially as the days are getting longer, it would be terrible if we didn’t do something to take advantage of the warmer weather. My younger son had a day off of school a couple of weeks back, and the two of us went out on our bikes and rode ten miles together, and it was amazing. He also started taking pictures with my camera that afternoon, so I’ll be sharing a few of those in this post.

A couple of weeks after the real birthday, my youngest, in kindergarten, had her first real birthday party. It was a bowling alley affair, and, per the terms of the contract, was less than two hours long, but for a group of 5 and 6 year olds, it was fine. I was completely stressed out over this for at least a week for a number of reasons, but it turned out really, really good. Even the weather held out, kind of… It started raining about the time that the party started, and it was still raining as people left. Had we started a couple of hours later, everybody would have been going home in sleet, because we had a blizzard come through the next day. The kids were thrilled to get the day off of school, and despite the crazy wind, we never lost power. The next day, our dear neighbor made a path for our car using a snowblower.
I’m grateful that even though I managed to break a spoke on the one bike (a different one than before), this happened in a place where I could ride to a place where I could leave the bike for a couple of days, and which was very close to the bike shop. On the night that this happened, I was also able to get a ride back home with one of the ladies from church. I’d never talked to her before, and she’s incredibly sweet, and lives just a couple of streets over from where I live.
I’m grateful for the amazing time I had at St. Haralambos in Niles a couple of weeks back. Not only were some very dear “real life” friends there, I finally got to meet Fr. Andrew Damick in person. We have been online acquaintances (friends) for over 20 years, and it seemed like high time to meet him in person. He actually recognized me by sight as well, which is crazy because it’s been a looong time since I posted any photos of myself that he might come across. 🙂 That was a lot of fun, though.

Breezy days and kites! I am grateful, as well, for the opportunity to visit an old friend and just enjoy sitting on the front step, having a conversation in the sunshine.
In many ways, I feel pulled very, very, very thin. There have been a lot of good things, to be sure, but there have been a number of very, very frustrating things as well. I don’t know; at this point, I’m not sure that I’ll ever have things “figured out”, but there’s a path to go forward on, and that’s the way through this all. Forgive me again for the blog silence – I truly am grateful for you.

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Sunday Gratitude – 26.V.2024

I am extraordinarily grateful that the school year is over. The last weeks were crazy and stressful, and I’m simply tired of all the school runs and everything.
I’m thankful that I was able to get a fair amount of stuff done this past week, despite getting very little done since about halfway through Thursday. There was an event Thursday night, and by the time that was over, I was just done, and I’ve been using this weekend to recover. I hope to be able to pick up the momentum again, but I’m not a robot, and there are just times when I need a break.

I’m thankful that although the one filling I have broke loose (and on the Friday evening of a holiday weekend!), I’m in no pain or real discomfort while I wait until I can call the dentist.
I am grateful for the everyday, and yet not grateful enough for it. I’m thankful that I know good people and get to have good conversation both online and in person. I’m grateful that so many people are patient with me.
My mind is a little bit of mush right now, so please forgive me. Know, though, that I’m grateful for all of you always.

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Saturday on Substack – 25.V.2024

Finally, a new edition, which can be found here: https://open.substack.com/pub/breathofhallelujah/p/saturday-on-substack-25v2024

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Let ‘Em In

Saturday without the kids. On tap – multiple large projects. Having arisen at seven, I already felt a twinge of panic as it felt like I was already behind.
First, cleaning out the car. Mind you, the car hadn’t been cleaned out since last fall, before the snow fell. It was awful – toys and paper bags with French fries that weren’t quite finished, shoes and socks and homework and drink holders with a thick layer of unidentifiable goo in the bottom.
It was well over an hour’s work on a surprisingly warm morning. Keeping Midwest Magic Cleaning on as my soundtrack, I managed to clean things out enough the difference between before and after was amazing.
Calling it “good enough”, even without working on the cargo area, I went back into the house to get some water and get myself organized before starting the next project – mowing both in front and behind the house. Not only that, but I needed to get gas from the gas station for the lawn mower.
It had been a conscious choice to wear some of my rattiest attire for the day. Both my t-shirt and pants had likely celebrated a decade in my house, and both had the scars to show it. But when the plan for the day involves crawling around a vehicle where one is likely to end up with melted Valentine’s chocolate on one’s attire, and then having the area around one’s feet colored green, it seemed like a smart decision.
As luck would have it, something went goofy again – although I don’t quite remember, I suspect it was looking for the car keys that I *just had* while I was cleaning the car – and while I was trying to collect the pieces of my scattered mind along with the keys, somebody rang the doorbell.
This is not necessarily an uncommon thing, but it’s almost always somebody who wants to sell me something – insect treatment, new windows, a bridge to nowhere – and had the front door not been sitting ajar behind the glass storm door, I might ducked down to pretend I wasn’t available, despite the open garage door and row of half-filled plastic water bottles pulled from the car now sitting in the driveway attesting to the fact that somebody was around just minutes ago. I got a quick glimpse of who was on the other side of the storm door.
Men in suits. “Probably Mormons,” I thought. And then a thought from almost nowhere – “Talk to them”.
Maybe it was just insanity, but I went to the door and started talking with them. No, they weren’t Mormons. They were Jehovah’s Witnesses. Three of them – and older gentleman, a young man whom I would guess to be in his 20s, and a boy of about five. All three were dressed as if they were going to church in the 1960s; the little boy was in “church clothes” but not a suit, but the two men were in suits.
It was a surprisingly pleasant chat. What was incredibly interesting was that the older gentleman started talking about increasing degeneracy in the world, and I said he didn’t need to tell me about it, as I grew up in Chicago. He asked where, and I told him, and it turns out that for a long time, he lived about four streets over, and he attended the same high school a couple of my aunts did. Talk about a small world!

Once the main conversation was done, I invited the younger man to lift the boy up to see the little birds, and I think the boy enjoyed that. I let them know that I’m an Orthodox Christian, and a little bit of why. I think that they were impressed that I could quote things out of the Bible. The older gentleman did most of the talking. I don’t think he’s the type whose mind would ever be changed about being a Jehovah’s Witness. As the years go by, it seems like I feel the need far less to convince anybody of anything. I’ve learned that if I want to be convincing, I have to demonstrate the truth of my conviction. That takes time to cultivate.
We could, however, have a conversation and talk to each other as real people. I remember, too, a blogger once saying that with debates, the object is often not to try to convince your opponent, but to put out a case where other people listening can understand your point. I don’t know, but I have a sneaking suspicion that this was the case with the younger man there, that by respectfully talking with his dad, he was actually hearing the things I had to say.
The funny thing is, once they were gone, I drove down to the gas station about a half mile from where I live. Not only did I see one of my license plate “signs”, but this song came on the radio. (Granted it was the Beatles’ station, but still…)
This comes off the only Paul McCartney album I own (apart from the classical album “Standing Stone”), and the familiar lyrics hit me before they were sung:
Someone's knocking at the door
Somebody's ringing the bell
Someone's knocking at the door
Somebody's ringing the bell
Do me a favor
Open the door
And let 'em in...Sure, it might all be coincidence, and I might be prone to rambling on about nothing, but as much as we have to guard ourselves from many destructive ideas and philosophies, it just seems as though if we’re going to ask people to reconsider things near and dear to their hearts that we actually see and treat them as people face to face.

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Wordless Wednesday #64 – Three Little Birds





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Sunday Gratitude – 19.V.2024

Forgive me for procrastinating – it seems like it’s something I can’t get away from. I’ve accomplished a lot in the last week – and even this weekend, and I’m thankful for that – but I feel kind of like there’s a heavy weight still hanging over me and that no matter how much I do, I’m still playing whack-a-mole with all that needs to get done.
I’m incredibly frustrated with Substack, which hasn’t corrected the issue that is making it impossible for me to write posts over there. On the other hand, although I mirror a lot of what I write over there over here, the Saturday posts actually do take a considerable amount of time, and as frustrating as it is not to be able to post over there, I’m grateful that it’s lifted a good deal of the pressure to write those posts off my shoulders for the time being so that I can concentrate on the house.

We had more hail this week, and I’m grateful that it doesn’t seem to have damaged anything. Yesterday was truly a gorgeous Wisconsin summer day, sunny, with a high of about 81F. Despite the sunburn, I’m grateful for days like that (though it makes me wonder how I thought, as a kid, that pretty much any temperature under 90F was tolerable.)

I’m thankful that I have a lovely neighbor who has been calling to get together on a fairly regular basis. I’m thankful for a place to live and not being in want for food or what have you. I’m thankful to be able to contribute something at church, and grateful that there’s a priest who is willing to hear my confession, even if it’s not the church I regularly attend.
I’m grateful to have a little bit of time to try to get things accomplished, even if I do procrastinate. I’m thankful that there are people who can use things that I no longer have use for, and that it makes them happy.
I’m grateful to still see wonder in the world, and I’m grateful for your attention and patience.

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Little Miracles

Ten years ago, my mom was helping clean out my grandmother’s house. Since we had recently moved to a house of our own, my mom and my sister dug up 25 varieties of my grandma’s hostas (she had over 90) and brought them here to be planted. Wouldn’t you know, every single one “took”, and at least for a couple of years, we had all of them.

One section of hostas in 2020 Unfortunately, I found out that if I don’t keep the arbor vitae in check, the hostas suffer. And so I lost a couple of hostas that way. A couple didn’t come back, and one was struggling and accidentally got run over by the neighbor with a lawn mower. Most of them were still there, though.
Last year, I was so overwhelmed with everything that I barely even looked at the yard. I mowed the lawn, I kept the thistles from going completely out of control, but I had no time or energy for any of the flowers or anything we usually would have. Sometime in late summer, I glanced up at where there had been a whole row of hostas, and while a couple were there, it looked like the whole section was mostly weeds. It’s not that I didn’t care, but I just didn’t have the energy to deal with it.
In any case, one of the reasons I trimmed back the arbor vitae a few weeks ago was because I knew that if there was any hope of salvaging any of the hostas, they’d have to get enough light to grow. I spent a couple of hours cutting things back, listening to Jonathan Pageau on my headphones whilst doing it.
Well, it seems like most of those in the above picture are still there. A couple look more or less normal:

And as I started searching around, I discovered that many of the others are at least trying to come up this year. I may have lost one completely, but it looks like there’s hope for some of the others.




This is one of the huge ones – this single stalk was about a foot tall. 
I hope some sunshine and continued weeding will help these this year. And this weekend? Well, there are more hostas to rescue from the weeds on the other side of the arbor vitae! *L*

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Sunday Gratitude – 12 May 2024

Happy Mother’s Day!
Oh, it’s been a week again! And, once again, I’m having weekend issues with Substack. There has been so much to do, and with the kids finishing up the school year shortly, there’s certainly the feel of a mad rush to get everything done.

It’s been kind of a blue week, with some big stresses, but there is a sense of the joy of Pascha, which I’m grateful for. I’m grateful for so many of the people around me.
I’m grateful for the spring weather, and for the beautiful trees all around. In other years, I’ve noticed trees, but this year they just seem perfect. I’m also grateful that the hail didn’t do damage to the house (as far as I know) and even the trees and flowers seem to have come through fairly unscathed. I got caught in some of the hail whilst driving; I’m grateful that we all made it through safely and the car didn’t even get dented – and some of it was getting close to pea-sized.

I am grateful that it seems like a little progress is being made with getting the house more orderly. It’s one of the reasons I haven’t been as active writing – if I spend an “extra” hour folding clothes, well, it cuts into reading and writing. Add to it the end of year stuff, and… it’s a lot.
Thank you all very much for your patience with me!

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Sunday Gratitude – 5.V.2024 – Paschal Edition

Christ is Risen!
First and foremost, I’m grateful for God’s love, in the many “everyday” ways, but of course, because of the sacrifice of Jesus on the Cross. It’s a tough thing to wrap one’s mind around, even knowing the story from the time I was very small. One can understand a story as a child, but it takes getting older to peel back the implications of a lot of things. With this, a lifetime is still not long enough. I am grateful for the easy access to hearing people who do think about these things – sure, one has to be careful not to get carried away on weird teachings, and there’s no lack of those online, but it amazes me that I can click over to Youtube and listen to some very high-quality talks for free. One that a friend sent me that I enjoyed a lot is this:
I am grateful that it ended up being a good weekend, even without the kids. I managed to make it to two services on Friday, an hour of reading from the Psalter on Saturday, Paschal services over Saturday night/early Sunday morning, and then Agape Vespers today. After Agape Vespers, there was a picnic, and the weather was perfect and it was a lot of fun to sit and chat.
i am thankful that despite my issues with oversleeping and getting things done on time as of late, it seems that there haven’t been too many repercussions. I’m thankful that even though I got caught in a brief storm yesterday, I had places to pull off until things had lightened up enough that I could see.
I’m grateful that I got a lot of stuff accomplished this past week. I suppose I should be grateful for the zombie dandelions that keep me from admiring my work on the lawn too much, but I’m still working on that. I am thankful, though, for the many beautiful tulips that have been blooming this year – it’s been a long time since they have been anywhere near this good.
I am thankful that I got to go to an event this weekend, and that I got to do a little bit of a side quest on the way to the event. I hope that the effort might bear some good fruit in the future.
I’m even a little grateful that Substack seems to be having some of its weekend issues – right now I can’t use most buttons, including those needed for posting – and so I have a bit of breathing room before feeling obligated to “catch up” with my normal Saturday posts.
I am grateful to still be standing, even in the midst of a lot of storms and uncertainty. I’m grateful that by sending a number of friends messages for Pascha, I ended up “chatting” via text with two people I haven’t talked to in years. I am so very thankful for all of you as well, for your attention and comments, prayers, and all those things.
Christ is Risen!


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Music Memory – “Reflections of my Life”

Believe it or not, but once upon a time, particularly when I was in high school, I was a Beatles fanatic. Music was my refuge, and the Beatles spoke to my heart. However, I didn’t stick merely to the Beatles in my music choices, but expanded to a lot of British Invasion music, as well as the music of the “rock’n’roll” era in general.
Back then, if I was on the prowl for new music, one of the things I’d do was that I’d go to Best Buy to see what they had. Mind you, this was in the day when Best Buy not only sold music, but many had a pretty decent selection as well. The one that I’d go to – which was a nice, two-mile trek if I had the time to walk – ended up being the top store for music sales in the entire chain for 1995. One of the things I got was a boxed set of the first four CDs in the Rhino Records “British Invasion: History of British Rock” series. It’s probably the most in-depth British Invasion collection made, and it made me much more familiar, thanks to liner notes, with bands that I’d heard of, but it also caused me to fall in love with artists like Donovan and The Seekers.
Mind you, it probably took me a year to finish off the set, between having money available (and not something else I wanted more) and the CDs I was missing actually being available. In any case, I got the ninth volume fairly early on, and one song that hit me hard was Marmalade’s “Reflections of My Life”.
Now, I don’t know if I got the CD before or after my 16th birthday, but even then, it seemed to speak to the chaos of the world and trying to make one’s way amidst that. In many of the Beatles’ later songs, there’s this idea of trying to go back home but not being able to (Cry Baby Cry, Golden Slumbers, Get Back, for starters) and this song hits that same place. It’s funny that in some sense, it’s so nostalgic, but on the other, they were very young singing this, and I carried that as well, even being younger still.
I remember I had a journal for one of my classes my senior year of high school, and I started picking songs of the day for the entries. This was the song for November 4, 1995 because it was the day that Yitzhak Rabin was assassinated. I don’t know; at the time it just seemed like there was progress for humankind – after all, it had only been a couple of years prior that the unthinkable had happened, and Germany had reunified and the Soviet Union had fallen apart. Yes, I was an international relations geek even then, even if I hadn’t even heard the term “international relations”. Back then, I believed a lot of what the news was feeding me as far as framing of issues and such, and… it would be Joseph Cardinal Bernardin’s death a year later which would eventually end up causing me to lose a lot of trust in the media.
In any case, in those days before Amazon, I ended up searching for a CD of Marmalade for a long time, and I never was able to find one. Even when I went to Germany for the first time in 1996, I searched for their music there as well, knowing that they had been bigger in Europe than in the US. No luck.
“Reflections of my Life” only made it to #10 on the US charts in 1970, but it’s interesting because every once in awhile, I’ll hear it randomly, like in a store or something. Most recently, I’ve heard it in rotation for Mark Belling’s bumper music for his radio program. I always think I’m “in the know” for recognizing it. More than that, though, it always takes me back to my senior year of high school and the tumult that was going on in my own life and in the larger world.


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Wordless Wednesday #63 – The Chapel at Dachau






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