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As I mentioned before, the indictment Jordan Peterson made about “Christians” a couple of years ago happened to hit me pretty hard recently. One of the lines particularly so – “There’s no limit to what would happen if you acted like God existed,” – because it is undeniably true, and it is certainly humbling to hear it from Peterson, who certainly wrestles a great deal with whether Christianity can possibly be true.

One of the things I find particularly interesting in the case of Peterson is that, unlike many of the people who wrestle with that question, he’s put considerable effort into flipping the question around and trying to think about it from the other side… He brings it up in the video I posted in the linked post, and he’s tortured himself not just considering the ramifications of what the world looks like if the Christian “story” is true, but also with what they are if it is not.

The Christian Church is not a foreigner to the idea of “calling”. In one sense, it is traditionally believed that Christ calls to each of us to follow Him. Furthermore, it’s common to believe that we are created intentionally, specifically, and in God’s love, and that we each have some higher “purpose” to which we are called in our life. This can be something quite ordinary or something “amazing”, but somehow we are supposed to hear this calling and follow.

When we talk about jobs that require a lot of specialty and service, it is common to say that someone followed a calling because, one assumes, that both elements have to be there to excel. A priest or pastor shouldn’t go into that line of work, for example, just because it’s a thing one can do, or it’s something one had the grades for. Same for a pediatric surgeon, or even teachers and psychologists; the damage that can be done on the “personal” level goes at least as deep as one’s academic expertise.

But then there’s the rest of us… Most of us don’t have it in us to be clergy or surgeons even if we wanted to. Only a very small number become missionaries to foreign lands. A few more feel a calling to join the military. Obviously, some people, especially women, feel like their calling is to take care of a family. At the same time, a lot of us seem to more or less get by with whatever opportunity that may be available at any given time. Some seem to be born into a certain path. In these cases, “calling” seems to have little to do with it.

The Orthodox Church, I believe, does a better job than most in stressing that all of us, above all else, are called to be saints; that our faith will necessarily change our behavior to strive toward this.

This is where things get tricky, though. The thing is, if we’re aiming toward something of the Kingdom of God, we turn away from worldly things. Such is the way it’s been for ages. The funny thing is, it doesn’t necessarily mean withdrawing from the world at large, but engaging it differently. However, when we set ourselves apart – even if it’s only on a spiritual or intellectual plane – it makes it easy for other people to see us and can make us a target for comment, ridicule, or hate.

The thing is, conformity is something that provides a measure of security in society. Common sense would say that one should find one’s place and stay put; that conformity reduces friction in relationships, and it provides a framework that is beneficial to the individual members of a community. There are good reasons for a lot of conformity in our lives, because fighting against the grain all the time is exhausting and probably a pointless waste of time.

That being said, there are many times when conformity becomes toxic, either to individual members or to the group at large. A community that never does anything new and doesn’t allow for different input is not just stagnant, but dying. It is imperative that there be members who don’t conform all the time, that they innovate and stand apart sometimes. However, not that all the people who do stand apart from the conformity are doing it for a good reason, and having a set of rules – both explicit and inferred – to bring erring members in is not necessarily a bad thing. For example, we consider some behavior criminal, not just as a moral thing for the person’s soul, but because it’s extremely destructive to the group.

And so, to stand up against the sea of conformity is extremely difficult, and one could even posit that one needs to be crazy – or, in fact, called (or some of both) – to reject the comfort of conformity and stand up alone, subject to all the scrutiny. That is courage, isn’t it? But if we are called to be saints, not only are we called to do that when the time arises, but we have the example of the saints who are in the next life as a comfort and inspiration so that we know this sort of thing can be done.

Again, what constitutes calling? In my own life, there’s an awful lot of the time that I feel like I’ve just been muddling through, fairly clueless about things. Yet there are a few things that seem to have been nothing less than calling and that if I had ignored that call, I would have actually endangered my soul in resisting. Yes, life would have been a lot more “normal”, but I probably would have ended up being much more resentful and full of regret for things not done. As it is, I certainly can’t say that there still hasn’t been an awful lot of suffering, but I’m generally not lamenting “shoulda, coulda, woulda” which is as soul-crushing as anything.

The last few years have been pretty difficult for me, and there has been tectonic shifts in my life, even down to identity. There were things – maybe not major things, but things – to which I felt called but figured that would have to wait until a much later point. This isn’t to say that some of it couldn’t have been accomplished anyway, but as the situation has changed, so has the the place of calling – the “feel”, so to speak, is that these things which I thought were quite far off are now screaming, “Do it now!” It’s terrifying. The rational side of my brain is saying, “You’re crazy, and you already have enough going on.” I can’t be going off to do crazy things, of course, but I also have a strange idea that if this actually is a calling by God, as strange as it seems, it’s going to work out. Again, terrifying stuff. The tendency to want to default to conformity is strong. The negative attention one gets when one walks a different path isn’t a fun thing either, but… It is said courage is contagious; and like the saints, we shine by example. I would certainly also like to aim to live a life that convinces people that God exists and that He loves each one of us dearly, and that doesn’t happen sliding into the cowardice of conformity. Our lives cannot be transformed by God when we’re not ready to come when called.

Happy Leap Day to all!

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