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  • Sunday Gratitude – 5.IV.2026

    Sunday Gratitude – 5.IV.2026

    To those celebrating today – Christ is Risen! – Happy Easter!

    And then there are the “weird” ones here who are still waiting another week, among which I count myself. There have been a lot of services already – yesterday, I think I was in church for nearly four hours. I’ve really struggled this Lent; from the beginning, I felt less ready for it than most years and this year… wow. For the greater part of Lent, I believed that the Orthodox were also going to be celebrating Pascha today, and it was only looking at the calendar more carefully a couple of weeks ago when I realized that no, there’s a one-week difference. I don’t know. I wasn’t expecting to spend so much time in church this weekend, but I was at vigil last night, and I certainly had the feeling of moving from the darkness into the light, and by the time the service was over, there was an air of hopefulness and joy there. For that I am grateful. (My brain did fight against this on the way home, though. *sigh*)

    I am grateful for the more spring-like weather, and the opportunity to be outside. I’m also grateful for my neighbor who invites me to come walking with her.

    I am grateful for friends who take the time to talk even in the rain.

    I am grateful for making it home in a storm the other day; I wasn’t expecting it, then all of a sudden, I was driving down this country highway with lightning flashes all around. I don’t think that they were very close, as there was only a tiny bit of thunder, but what a show! The next day, driving down those same roads, I could actually see how high the water is, and I’m grateful that there were no issues with low-lying stretches of road or the bridges.

    Mourning dove in wreath
    Time to take the Christmas wreath down!

    I am thankful to have had a little bit of time to be outside with my kids, and I’m thankful that they have places around that they can enjoy riding their bikes through, and that they’ve been fine with this “exploring”.

    I am thankful for the joy of singing.

    I am thankful for the things that are showing signs of life (and even blooming) even after a very cold winter and long periods of neglect.

    I am grateful for the opportunity to have been in contact with a number of people on this day, in the joy of Easter.

    I am grateful for yet another sign that I’m not alone through the hard stuff.

    Thank you so much for being here! Christ is Risen!

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  • Sunday Gratitude – 29.III.2026

    Sunday Gratitude – 29.III.2026

    I really hate it when it seems like I blink and yet another week has passed. Somehow so much of this time ends up feeling like a blur, and it seems like all that is left is a growing list of things that should have been done long ago, but haven’t been done yet.

    In the meantime, though, I’ve been trying not to lose a sense of gratitude, and to also try to make the most of the days at hand. We’ve had a couple of days that have hit 70F, which has been amazing, and especially as the days are getting longer, it would be terrible if we didn’t do something to take advantage of the warmer weather. My younger son had a day off of school a couple of weeks back, and the two of us went out on our bikes and rode ten miles together, and it was amazing. He also started taking pictures with my camera that afternoon, so I’ll be sharing a few of those in this post.

    Broken pier Wind Point Lake Michigan

    A couple of weeks after the real birthday, my youngest, in kindergarten, had her first real birthday party. It was a bowling alley affair, and, per the terms of the contract, was less than two hours long, but for a group of 5 and 6 year olds, it was fine. I was completely stressed out over this for at least a week for a number of reasons, but it turned out really, really good. Even the weather held out, kind of… It started raining about the time that the party started, and it was still raining as people left. Had we started a couple of hours later, everybody would have been going home in sleet, because we had a blizzard come through the next day. The kids were thrilled to get the day off of school, and despite the crazy wind, we never lost power. The next day, our dear neighbor made a path for our car using a snowblower.

    I’m grateful that even though I managed to break a spoke on the one bike (a different one than before), this happened in a place where I could ride to a place where I could leave the bike for a couple of days, and which was very close to the bike shop. On the night that this happened, I was also able to get a ride back home with one of the ladies from church. I’d never talked to her before, and she’s incredibly sweet, and lives just a couple of streets over from where I live.

    I’m grateful for the amazing time I had at St. Haralambos in Niles a couple of weeks back. Not only were some very dear “real life” friends there, I finally got to meet Fr. Andrew Damick in person. We have been online acquaintances (friends) for over 20 years, and it seemed like high time to meet him in person. He actually recognized me by sight as well, which is crazy because it’s been a looong time since I posted any photos of myself that he might come across. 🙂 That was a lot of fun, though.

    Breezy days and kites!

    I am grateful, as well, for the opportunity to visit an old friend and just enjoy sitting on the front step, having a conversation in the sunshine.

    In many ways, I feel pulled very, very, very thin. There have been a lot of good things, to be sure, but there have been a number of very, very frustrating things as well. I don’t know; at this point, I’m not sure that I’ll ever have things “figured out”, but there’s a path to go forward on, and that’s the way through this all. Forgive me again for the blog silence – I truly am grateful for you.


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  • Sunday Gratitude – 2.VII.2023 – Hazy Days

    Sunday Gratitude – 2.VII.2023 – Hazy Days

    It was certainly a full week, even if there wasn’t so much pressure as sometimes.

    The medical stuff took place on Monday, and all things considered, it didn’t go badly, and I won’t have to go through this again for another three years. Definitely a win, and I’m thankful for that.

    In the process of all that, I got to see a dear friend who volunteered to help me out, and it made things so much less stressful.

    red geranium bucket

    I am grateful that the trip that my oldest went on went well.

    I’m thankful that the kids are back, but I’m also grateful to have had a little bit of time to myself. I managed to not only mow the lawn, but weed out the stuff on the one side of the house, and a little bit in front. As a result, the house looks a lot less neglected.

    I’m grateful that I have a solution for Confession for the time being, and I am grateful, in general, for wonderful priests.

    There were a couple of hot and hazy days, but it was bearable. The one inflatable pool seems to be done, so I ordered a new one, but I don’t know if it will get here before another hot day.

    I’m grateful for being able to read and write and discuss online. It means a lot.

    As always, I’m grateful for each one of you, and hope things are well in your lives.

    (I’m having multiple technical difficulties with posting pictures tonight. Hopefully, I can sort these out in the next couple of days!)


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  • Saturday on Substack – 1.VII.2023

    Saturday on Substack – 1.VII.2023

    The good news is, I didn’t fall asleep on my keyboard tonight. The bad news is, I didn’t quite get this published on Saturday. Still, please enjoy!

    https://breathofhallelujah.substack.com/p/saturday-on-substack-1vii2023-the


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  • Lilla Rose July 2023 Update

    Lilla Rose July 2023 Update

    For the latest Lilla Rose posts, please check out the following:

    The author of this blog is a “Flexi Rep/Affiliate” with Lilla Rose, and is not employed by Lilla Rose. Purchases made through this link <https://www.lillarose.com/katja> will earn the author a commission.

    Somewhere around June 10th (or later) I thought to myself, “You know what, I didn’t post about Lilla Rose this month. By that time, I figured I’d just wait until July. Luckily, I remembered this month, because the monthly “Mane Event” promotion runs 20% off only on the first three days of each month.

    So… Without further ado – July’s “Mane Event”

    This is what is included in this month’s “Mane Event” package:

    • Lilla Rose collectable cosmetic bag with aqua and ocean blue seashell pattern
    • New Seastar Caspian Flexi Clip exclusive to LR Mane Event set. Not sold separately.
    • Surprise Item! Brand new and limited!
    • Sea Salt Spray Sample
    • Inspirational quote with coupon code – share with a friend
    • Winners! Two orders will be randomly selected to receive a purple ticket = 25 Lilla Bucks
    • Available thru July 31 or while supplies last

    The monthly promotion: Get a Lilla Rose medium sport flexi for $5 when you spend $60 AND get free shipping with orders of $75 or more.

    In honor of Shark week, a special flexi featuring a sweet little guy by the name of Jaw-shua!

    I woke up early this morning to do some yardwork, and the last thing I wanted was my hair to get in the way, especially considering I’d be pulling thistles, and it gets painful if they get caught in loose hair… I put my hair up in a bun using an extra-large flexi (my go-to size for buns, considering that my hair is long enough to sit on) with two U-pins I got from someone else before I learned about Lilla Rose, and not only did it hold through something like 5 hours of yardwork, a trip to the store and the waste dropoff point, but I went to church this evening with the bun still completely intact. Had I made the bun with ponytail holders and bobby pins, I probably would have had to redo it a couple of times, and I hate losing bobby pins in my hair! Right now, I’m at 14 hours with it, and it’s still holding fast. When I want it out, though, all I’ll need to do is pull out the two U-pins and then the flexi, which takes all of 5 seconds. I have slept with them in (though I don’t necessarily recommend that) and they’ve never been damaged. When I’d fall asleep with a ponytail holder in, it was so frustrating getting those things out of my hair afterward, because there was always a small amount of hair that was irrevocably twisted into the hair tie and the only solution was breaking the hair to get the tie out. I hated that, and thse clips are so much better!

    Thank you & make sure to click through with my link:

    https://www.lillarose.com/katja


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  • Life was hard then… (finding Lewis Johnson)

    Life was hard then…  (finding Lewis Johnson)

    Anyone who has read the Little House on the Prairie books knows that things were much harder for Laura and the Ingalls family than the television show ever let on. The Long Winter alone is a terrible story of a time when it was uncertain that all of them – or any of them, for that matter – would live to see the spring. In her finished books, there’s always a sense of determination and hope that if they just hold on a little longer, things will have to change for the better. It’s only in the book The First Four Years, which really was only the beginnings to the next book she had planned, that one starts to get a sense that there were some very, very bad times and in the thick of it, one doesn’t always see the light at the other end.

    I got interested in genealogy when I was nine, but I didn’t do much with it until my oldest was born, and I had a lot of time where I was just sitting and holding her because she screamed and fussed a lot when she got put down. The Chicago Public Library already had some nice resources that could be accessed from home, and as those things go, I was hooked.

    It’s not like I’ve had a lot of time to devote to genealogy on a regular basis – five kids now keep me extremely busy without “frivolous” pastimes. I had always wondered about my Norwegian ancestors, though. My great-grandma Louise was the only one of my great-grandmothers who didn’t live to see me, and even her son – my grandfather – died before I was born, so I lost on that account as well. Years ago, I found my great-grandmother’s death certificate, and her father was listed on it. Score! His name was Lewis Johnson. Lewis Johnson who came from Norway, who came to the US to settle in Minnesota. Considering how many Johnsons there are in Minnesota, for many years, I figured that I had run into a brick wall, and this was the end of it.

    Every now and again, I’d do a little genealogy work, and sometimes I would work on my grandfather’s family again. Eventually, it became apparent that there were siblings – six of them! Again, looking for “Charles Johnson” was like looking for a needle in a haystack, but I can be extremely tenacious with these things, and it was something that I could pick up, work on, and put down for awhile.

    I knew my grandfather was born in and grew up in Turtle Lake, North Dakota. However, neither of his parents were from North Dakota, and since they were from different states (Iowa and Minnesota) I wondered how they ended up out there. I assumed that they met beforehand somehow, and moved out to homestead shortly afterward…

    In any case, over the last decade, an incredible amount of information has become available online. Certainly Ancestry.com wants your money, but there are plenty of other really good sites out there, and many of them are free. FamilySearch.org is one of them, and a couple of months ago, I started playing around with their “world family tree” feature. More than that FamilySearch has thousands upon thousands of genealogical books scanned in, and a lot of them are available to look at for free. Furthermore, the Library of Congress has a free newspaper search engine which can be found here: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/ . Many state and local historical societies have resources such as newspapers available online as well.

    Now, before this turns into a blog post about how to get started doing family research, the point of mentioning this is that through the Chronicling America archive, I found the newspaper report of my great-grandparents’ wedding in Turtle Lake back in 1906, which told me that they didn’t travel out there together. Furthermore, while I knew an aunt of hers also ended up in Turtle Lake, the newspaper article mentioned that two of her siblings were at the wedding, and it made it sound like they weren’t just visitors. These were all little things, but every bit helped.

    I knew that they were from Delavan, Minnesota, and, in searching Find-a-Grave, I found a Lewis Johnson who died in 1889, who looked like he very possibly could be the “right” Lewis Johnson. I found an account for an anniversary book of that sister who had been out there (through FamilySearch) and found out that it was the right Lewis Johnson, but that after their mother died not even two years later, the seven kids – aged from 8 to 24 – banded together to keep going. Teaching was an occupation a woman in those days could support herself with, so my great-grandmother became a teacher and followed her brother and sister “out west” to teach… There she met my great-grandfather, who was homesteading, and the rest was history… kind of.

    Again, searching for Lewis Johnson in Minnesota is no easy task. But now knowing when he died and an area where he lived, I started to poke around the newspaper archives to see what I could find. Wouldn’t you know it, but there was something about his death that made the papers…

    Several days ago, Lewis Johnson, in charge of John Paul’s lumber yards in Delavan, Minn., mysteriously disappeared from home. His body was found by some boys fishing in the Blue Earth river in the vicinity of Payne’s Mill, near Winnebago City. The body had lain several days in the water, and the head and neck had been considerably eaten by fish. Financial trouble is said to be the cause of the suicide. He had been dabbling somewhat in the machinery business, and is said to have been embarrassed by money matters.

    The Record and Union, Rochester, Minnesota, Friday June 7, 1889

    Wow. The man was 48 years old, came from Norway as a child, married, had seven children, was gainfully employed. In some sense he was living the American dream, or so it would seem from the outside.

    However, what goes on inside someone’s head is a different matter. The money troubles are one thing. Being father to seven children carries with it stress and responsibility. I hadn’t thought of it before, but his brother-in-law was a Union soldier in the Civil War, and there’s a good chance he was too. (The picture of his brother-in-law is haunting.) Who knows? Life was hard then. It wasn’t all wrapped up in a happy ending at the end of the episode. One didn’t even have the option of getting back “on the grid” when something needs urgent attention, such as emergency medical care. I don’t know the whole story, and I doubt I ever will, but even well over a century later, it’s very, very sad.

    He left behind a wife with seven kids, who were between six and 22. Whether his wife was already sick, or if she died of stress or something else entirely, we’ll never know, but those seven children were total orphans by January of 1891. They stuck it out and stuck together, and though some would endure their own tragedy, this was more of the resilience that Laura Ingalls Wilder wrote about in the books about her life. I’m sure that when it came to my great-grandmother, having endured the death of her father as a 9-year-old and all the struggles in the ensuing years, it put her on a path where she wasn’t too afraid to go out West. She became stronger and resilient and lived to be 89 years old. Sure, there were plenty more sorrows to come, but had she given up like her father, she would have missed out on an awful lot of joy as well.


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  • Sunday Gratitude – 25.VI.2023 – Actually a Sunday

    Sunday Gratitude – 25.VI.2023 – Actually a Sunday

    I don’t know that I’m feeling particularly grateful today, but I’m going to give this a shot because I feel like it’s important.

    I’m stuck today on a clear liquid diet due to a medical procedure tomorrow. To top that off, I need to drink a gallon of this vile liquid that simultaneously feels like it’s making my guts feel like they are squeezing out and that I want to throw up. On the other hand, I’m doing this now because it looks like an issue was caught very, very early, and taking care of it now is much easier than later. I do wonder if this was the inspiration for the scene in Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince where Dumbledore keeps having to drink the liquid until the container is empty!

    I am grateful for friends – those who call even when I don’t and those who are willing to help out in a pinch.

    I’m thankful that this week was a lot calmer than many others – sure, there was a birthday, and a doctor’s appointment, and a trip to the airport, but the kids got to sleep in and relax, and I got a fair amount of stuff in the house done.

    I’m grateful that I may have a solution to finding a place where I can go to Confession.

    I’m grateful that although it was hot, it was still bearable without air conditioning.

    I’m grateful for being able to read and write and discuss online. It means a lot.

    The new “AI” breed of California poppies! *L*

    As always, I’m grateful for each one of you, and hope things are well in your lives.


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  • Saturday on Substack 24.VI.2023

    Saturday on Substack 24.VI.2023

    It seems like no matter how early on Saturday I start these, I’m still rushing to get them published under the wire! Please join me over at Substack for a random smattering of what’s been on my radar this week! https://breathofhallelujah.substack.com/p/saturday-on-substack-24vi2023


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  • Reblog: Today’s Cultural Moment (Ola Gjeilo) – Bluebird of Bitterness

    Reblog: Today’s Cultural Moment (Ola Gjeilo) – Bluebird of Bitterness

    I see that WordPress is handling the reblogs a little different than before. The piece over there is a piano piece called “Summer” by Ola Gjeilo, and it’s stunning. If you have a moment, click on over!


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  • Wordless Wednesday #35 – A Random Castle in Germany (Burg Randeck, Essing/Kelheim)

    Wordless Wednesday #35 – A Random Castle in Germany (Burg Randeck, Essing/Kelheim)
    Burg Randeck knight

    Burg Randeck Germany




    Knight

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  • Music Memory – “Motherland” – Natalie Merchant

    Music Memory – “Motherland” – Natalie Merchant
    Natalie Merchant – “Motherland”

    “Motherland” was released on November 13, 2001, in the period between the 9/11 attacks and when I headed off for Germany in early 2002. I had never been a 10,000 Maniacs fan, despite the urging of my friend Alec from high school, because in those days, I didn’t listen to much of anything that came out after 1973. That changed once I got to college, but that’s a story for another day. While I was in college, though, two songs from Merchant’s album “Ophelia” got some airplay – “Kind and Generous” and “Break Your Heart“, though the latter was only very occasionally.

    Despite the infrequent airplay, I really liked the song “Break Your Heart”. This, in turn, led me to buy “Ophelia”, and for a time there, it was probably fair to say that I was obsessed with the album. This is the reason that I bought the “Motherland” album the day it came out, and was absolutely shocked to see that the album was dedicated to the victims of 9/11, which had happened a scant two months prior. However, the album “Motherland” didn’t speak to me the same way “Ophelia” had, though I did listen through it a good number of times.

    I did love the title track of “Motherland”. The track begins lazy and swirling, evocative of music used in kids’ shows to indicate “France”, but is melancholy enough to also European locales much further east. I won’t go through the lyrics thoroughly, but the idea of the song is of someone encouraging another to leave the place they are in for good because the choice is the better for the one being encouraged to go. The hangup is that the place they are in is home, and the way the world is changing, there will be no way for the person being addressed to come back, and yet the singer is encouraging the addressee to be brave and go, even though the singer seems to be trapped in that place. There then is a little bit that touches on being tied down someplace and freedom.

    One of the most obvious things that this made me think of in my life was a dear friend whose family, because of their German ancestry, was able to leave what had been the USSR for Germany as everything kind of fell apart there. (I have no idea if she has any connection to Russia, but I’d wager “King of May” has some connection to Tsar Nicholas II, but I digress – again!) For this friend, even to go back there, there’s a deep familiarity, but his family is no longer there, friends have grown up and gone off, and the city even renamed itself a few years back.

    More generally, this happens to a lot of people. It happened to me when I was 13, that the only home I had known was gone, and there was no way back. As much as there is pain associated there, the decision to fight to keep going forward had to be made and had to be fought for on an almost daily basis. Over at Rod Dreher’s substack, the conversation has turned a bit to thoughts of home (paywall, unfortunately), both of returning (or the impossibility thereof) or making it to our eternal home. (This, in turn, got me thinking of this song, which got me writing about it, etc…)

    In any case, this song is incredibly connected to that time in my life in 2001 when I knew I’d be leaving everything behind again, though this time it was totally my choice and my responsibility whether I succeeded or failed. It is connected to that friend. It is connected to weird little memories of things like listening to it late at night while sitting at the laundromat on the military post where I worked in Germany.

    There is one place where I take issue with the singer, though. It’s where she sings “It’s your happiness I want most of all/And for that I’d do anything at all…” In the great scheme of things, happiness is often a fleeting emotion. What would I put there? Well, I know she’s not a religious singer, but the best thing I seem to be able to come up with to replace it is “holiness”. We know that wouldn’t fly, though… pop songs mentioning holiness? NO! But as somebody who has really struggled with the idea of “home”, it’s incredible how many people get pulled off of getting to the place where our souls are at rest with silly little quests for happiness.


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  • Sunday Gratitude – 18.VI.2023 – Who Knows Where the Time Goes?

    Sunday Gratitude – 18.VI.2023 – Who Knows Where the Time Goes?

    I really was just about to sit down and write this last night when my one cousin called. Normally, we end up talking for about half and hour, but this time, we were on the phone for over two hours, by which time it was way past midnight. Please forgive me for my tardiness once again! I’m terrible at calling her myself, so I’m grateful that she’s kind enough to want to call me.

    I’m grateful for the people at church, and our little knot of the English-speakers left there.

    As much as I miss them when they’re gone, I’m grateful to have gotten three quiet nights this weekend.

    I’m thankful to have been able to get the grass mowed. The neighbor has been kind enough to help me out a lot, but I don’t want him thinking I’m taking advantage of him either.

    I’m thankful that I think I’m slowly digging out of getting bills and paperwork straight but without a ton of penalties and such. Technically grace, I suppose, an maybe that’s a legal term here as well.

    The house stuff has been really discouraging, but even so, I’m grateful that I’ve been able to take care of what needs to be done, even if sometimes slowly.

    I’m grateful to the Chicago friends who came up to help with getting things in order in the house. Yes, we only managed a little, but it’s a lot more than what I would have gotten done in the same time alone.

    I’m thankful for little notes of encouragement along the way. (I think I also have my first paid subscription on Substack, which I am incredibly humbled by.)

    Speaking of Substack, I know I shared this in my Saturday on Substack post, but I saw it and laughed so hard I nearly fell over laughing. I’m grateful for being able to laugh like that, and to the people who are so incredibly creative and talented with such things

    As always, I’m grateful for each one of you, and hope things are well in your lives.


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