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Sunday Gratitude – 18.X.2026

Hi everyone! Glad to be back here. I’m still struggling with a lot, and there’s a lot that’s really overwhelming. However, I’m going to give it a shot as far as gratitude here.
Most importantly, probably, is that my son had a surgery on his ear a couple of weeks back, and everything went really, really well. Yes, he had the same surgery back in February on the other ear, and it went really well, but there’s still a good bit of nervousness attached to all these things.

Secondly, I recently took part in the Serbian Orthodox Choral Association’s annual choir festival. Because it was only a week after the surgery, I wasn’t going to go, but then there were people who had signed up who either couldn’t go or couldn’t sing, and I was asked if there might be some way that I could go. I managed to get things arranged, and I went. It was an amazing trip, and I hope to write about it separately. Most of us who went ended up driving, including the people I rode with, but everything went off without a hitch, there were no accidents or incidents with the driving, and the event was a lot of fun. I am very grateful for that, and for getting to see the city and experience the city a little.
If any of you are interested, our choir’s performance can be found here (our group starts at 45:15):
The weather has gotten cooler, and I’m grateful for that (St. Louis at over 90F was quite a shock to the system). This just seems to be one of those patches that is especially rough, so I’d appreciate your prayers for me and my kids.

Thank you ever so much for following; you are amazing!

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Queen – Face It Alone

Back in October of last year, the band Queen released a song that they had worked on for their album The Miracle but which didn’t make the album. Here is that song:
It’s interesting, because in the Beatles’ later works, it seems like there is an overarching theme of wanting to go home, to find the place where one belongs, or at least “once belonged”. I’m not a Queen expert, by any stretch of the imagination, but it seems that the theme that developed later in their music was more one of facing mortality. Songs like “Who Wants to Live Forever“, “These are the Days of Our Lives“, and even “The Show Must Go On” demonstrate this. Of course, what the band knew was that Freddie Mercury was dying of AIDS. So it is no wonder that even without making this public until the very end, pieces of this ended up showing up in their music.
“Face it Alone” is another song that fits this category. The song has been finished, insofar as it’s been put together and polished up and the like, but I don’t think it actually was done – had this gone on an album, I think that there would be another verse where Mercury just repeats “When the moon has lost its glow…” However, by leaving it that way, it adds to the spookiness of the track.
The short and long of the sentiment of this haunting song is that no matter what one has done with his or her life, there’s some point where we stand and face the hard things by ourselves; even money, fame, or hard work can save us from these times. It’s an excruciatingly lonely place, and in many situations, there’s no coming back from it. I don’t know that I’ve ever heard another song that really captures something of that.
I found out about this song through the Babylon Bee‘s sister site, Not the Bee. (Listen: Queen drops long-lost song featuring Freddie Mercury, and it’s so sad). The main comment from them is as follows:
It’s a beautiful song, but the message is so hard to hear when you consider how Freddy Mercury left this world via complications with AIDS.
And that’s the rub isn’t it? If you count your life as your own, then there’s not much hope.
Of course the good news is that if you believe in Christ, you don’t have to face anything all alone, not even death.
There certainly is a very good and very valid point here, that with God with us, we aren’t truly alone, and our hope in Him will not disappoint.
However, I can’t help but think that even among the saints there isn’t some amount of realization that sometimes we stand and we go forward alone. Maybe because we’re coming up to the anniversary of St. Alexander of Munich’s feast day, that is, the day he was executed, that even if he had been given a glimpse of heaven, and even if he was aware of the angels all around him, he was human, after all, and as he was being prepared to have the guillotine separate his head from his body, there was some feeling of being uniquely alone there as well.
When Jesus went out into the wilderness and he was tempted by Satan, certainly that feeling of being alone also played a part of it. Afterwards, Jesus needed to be attended to by angels afterwards. I believe that each one of us has these times in their lives, and we endure or we let it destroy us. Going back to the Beatles, I’ve had the song “Let It Be” turn up on the radio at providential times over the last few months. A week and a half ago, as I was driving, I started crying at the line “And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light that shines on me / shine until tomorrow, let it be.” In some sense here, I think it’s talking about the same type of situation that we find ourselves in, but it also points out to the fact that there’s hope to hold on to, even just getting us to tomorrow.

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Sunday Gratitude – 9.VII.2023 – Well into Summer

I am grateful that we had a nice 4th. With so much going on, I find it hard to stop and celebrating sometimes.
I’m grateful that this was a week with very little going on. I needed that, and I needed the ability to sit and relax when I wasn’t feeling wonderful.
I’m grateful for nice summer weather.

I’m thankful I got to learn a little bit more about using my camera in different scenerios.
The week still had a lot of difficulties, things I can’t write about here because it involves the kids. I’m working on trying to be grateful for that, but it’s really, really hard.
Thank you all for your time and your prayers.
As always, I’m grateful for each one of you, and hope things are well in your lives.

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Saturday on Substack – 8.VII.2023

Who would have believed it – a “Saturday on Substack” on a Saturday! *L*
I hope all of you are well! Click on over for a bit of this and a little of that over on Substack.
https://breathofhallelujah.substack.com/p/saturday-on-substack-8vii2023

Since we need AI to see fireworks over Mt. Rushmore these days!

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Praise the crazy mother’s son who loved his life

It’s amazing how just thinking back on music can bring it to mind again. It’s like calling an old friend and catching up in a matter of a half hour like no time had passed. I went through a time when I could not get enough of the Natalie Merchant album Ophelia. One of the tracks is a song called “King of May”, which, through the power of the internet, I can share with you right here:
I mentioned in the post about the song “Motherland” that I would guess that this song may have some inspiration, at least. from Tsar Nicholas II of Russia, who happened to be born in May. I say this with the idea that the song seems to be commemorating a departure of a king that may be painful, and the melancholy mood of the song reflects that, but with the end result being this person ‘ascending’ to a better place. (At least that’s what I understand from the line “make a hole in the sky for him”.)

AI Tiffany glass There’s a line in the song that has always struck me as particularly poignant, even though I actually didn’t know the full correct lyric until I started writing this post two weeks ago or so. The line goes “Praise the crazy mother’s son who loved his life.” (I thought the line was actually “Crazy, crazy mother’s son…)
Why would that strike me as such an important concept? I actually think that there’s more than a little serendipity here, because a day or so after I started this post, Rod Dreher posted the following quote from a piece that he did in 2012.
It’s a cliche to say so, but there really is something about us Americans — and probably all Anglo-Saxons — that regards pleasure with deep suspicion. If it is to be embraced, we think, it is to be embraced as a respite from the daily grind, as an escape from reality — but always an illusion.
Rod Dreher, The Paris Effect, 10 October 2012I’m sure that a lot of this has to do, first of all, with the huge influence the Puritans had on American culture. Their religious beliefs practically shunned happiness as an evil frivolity. Secondly, it probably also has a fair amount to do with the fact that the United States was still being settled until fairly recently. One of my great-grandmothers was a woman who went out west – western North Dakota – as a single woman in the first years of the 1900s to seek her destiny there. I’m not going to say that living out on the “edge of civilization” was joyless, but life was hard, and the pursuit of happiness had to be derived more from the mode of living rather than the cultivation of “the finer things”. It’s great if your town can have a live theater, but the thing is, they’d better have a jail first. Practicality for necessity’s sake isn’t necessarily beautiful. The socks a mother knit to keep her children’s feet from freezing probably weren’t works of art, but she could make beautiful things when the need arose and the time allowed for it.
In any case, Dreher continues:
“What, though, if pleasure is as much a part of life as work and suffering? What if there is as much to be learned and loved in the feast as in and from the fast?”
“The danger, of course, is that one could make all this pleasure into one’s god. That’s obvious enough, but what isn’t so obvious, at least not to us Americans, is the risks in believing that any sensual delight cannot be godly. We were created as fleshly creatures, by a God who declared His creation to be good. Food, drink, song, art, architecture — they are His gift to us, and to be given thanks for, and enjoyed.”
Rod Dreher, ibid.When I was part of the trip to Orenburg in 2007, to honor what would have been Alexander Schmorell’s 90th birthday, one of his friends, Nikolai Hamazaspian spoke in front of our smallish group that was gathered for dinner, including the mayor of Orenburg. What he wanted to make abundantly clear, above all else, was the fact that his friend was somebody who loved and relished his life and all the opportunities he had. He loved horseback riding and art and literature and getting to spend time outdoors; he loved music and concerts and having friends to spend time with. Many are the accounts that his smile could light up a room (especially for the ladies, it seems!) As much as he wasn’t necessarily thrilled with the prospect of becoming a doctor, he was smart enough and talented enough to make it in medical school, and had he finished, the world would have been his oyster. Hamazaspian wanted to really get it through our heads that he wasn’t dour or suicidal, and he didn’t see the world as an evil place from which one can “volunteer” to make an early exit. No, he said Alexander was full of life and he loved it all. In that case, why be willing to die? Because he loved God more, and despite all his faults and failings, he dedicated himself to serving the Truth.

Nikolai Hamazaspian, 2007, Orenburg, Russia The Bible tells us not to love the things of this world, and that’s well so. When we love the things, we attach to them too much, and they become our idols. However, God gave us a beautiful world, He gave us wonder, and He gave us people to enjoy this life with – if life is nothing more than pain and drudgery, something is very, very wrong. Some of the most joyful people I have known are the young Ukrainian nuns I met many years ago – they were in their mid-20s like me and it was an absolute joy to spend time with them there or play Mario Kart at my place. In a sense, these women are “dead to the world”, but at the same time, they allow themselves to recognize the good and partake of it.
And so, I’m not sure that someone necessarily should be praised for simply loving his life, but the line in the song is a good reminder that someone who does so ought not be condemned. However, when we recognize those who love their lives and are willing to lose it in love, in service to God, or in service to each other, these are the people who ought to be praised and remembered.

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Wordless Wednesday #36 – Fireworks










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Stars and Stripes Forever

In years past, there’s been a fair amount of debate whether “The Star Spangled Banner” ought to have been made the official national anthem of the United States. When I was in kindergarten, and we started the day off with our pledges and songs, we sang “America (My Country ‘Tis of Thee)” instead of the “The Star Spangled Banner”, but all things considered, it probably is asking a bit much for your average 5-year-old to sing the national anthem. Some people would rather have “America the Beautiful” as it actually talks about the landscape of the United States, and after 9/11, “God Bless America” kind of became the second national anthem.
However, the patriotic song that “gets” me the most is the John Philip Sousa march “Stars and Stripes Forever”.
The first time I became acquainted with the song was on the Maranatha! Kids “Stars and Stripes Sing-a-long” which came out in 1988. It was part of a medley, and used lyrics that might have been their own, as they weren’t Sousa’s lyrics. I don’t remember the lyrics exactly, but here’s what I remember.
*something* *something* *something* (possibly ending "land of the free") May it wave over this land forever The stars and the stripes may they be *something* *something* liberty May each one give thanks to the men Who gave up their whole lives to give us freedom And for whom this banner still flies For freedom's sake, may this great flag wave on forever
Here’s a rendition probably closest to what Sousa wrote, including his lyrics:
In high school, I was in marching band. I played flute and piccolo, and the “Stars and Stripes Forever” is probably one of the pieces with the most amazing piccolo parts ever. (I never did master it, unfortunately – then again, people are pretty sensitive about where one can practice piccolo.)
There’s an old musician’s joke that goes as follows: Q: How does one get two flute players in tune with each other? A: Shoot one of them. Q: How does one get two piccolo players in tune with each other? A: Shoot both of them! Therefore, a video with 94 piccolo players playing the solo for the Stars and Stripes Forever comes as no small feat!
As a music person, this is hilarious, for what is “easy” on a piccolo doesn’t come quite as easily to tuba! (I must admit, though, that the piccolo trumpet is amazing!)
Not that the wonder of this song is only reserved for woodwinds and brass – this is a fun rendition – poor marimba players, they end up running around all over with all the runs!
And one more, proving that one doesn’t even have to be American to be amazed bi this song.
Happy Independence Day, y’all! Enjoy the day!


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Sunday Gratitude – 2.VII.2023 – Hazy Days

It was certainly a full week, even if there wasn’t so much pressure as sometimes.
The medical stuff took place on Monday, and all things considered, it didn’t go badly, and I won’t have to go through this again for another three years. Definitely a win, and I’m thankful for that.
In the process of all that, I got to see a dear friend who volunteered to help me out, and it made things so much less stressful.

I am grateful that the trip that my oldest went on went well.
I’m thankful that the kids are back, but I’m also grateful to have had a little bit of time to myself. I managed to not only mow the lawn, but weed out the stuff on the one side of the house, and a little bit in front. As a result, the house looks a lot less neglected.
I’m grateful that I have a solution for Confession for the time being, and I am grateful, in general, for wonderful priests.
There were a couple of hot and hazy days, but it was bearable. The one inflatable pool seems to be done, so I ordered a new one, but I don’t know if it will get here before another hot day.
I’m grateful for being able to read and write and discuss online. It means a lot.
As always, I’m grateful for each one of you, and hope things are well in your lives.
(I’m having multiple technical difficulties with posting pictures tonight. Hopefully, I can sort these out in the next couple of days!)

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Saturday on Substack – 1.VII.2023

The good news is, I didn’t fall asleep on my keyboard tonight. The bad news is, I didn’t quite get this published on Saturday. Still, please enjoy!
https://breathofhallelujah.substack.com/p/saturday-on-substack-1vii2023-the

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Lilla Rose July 2023 Update

For the latest Lilla Rose posts, please check out the following:
The author of this blog is a “Flexi Rep/Affiliate” with Lilla Rose, and is not employed by Lilla Rose. Purchases made through this link <https://www.lillarose.com/katja> will earn the author a commission.
Somewhere around June 10th (or later) I thought to myself, “You know what, I didn’t post about Lilla Rose this month. By that time, I figured I’d just wait until July. Luckily, I remembered this month, because the monthly “Mane Event” promotion runs 20% off only on the first three days of each month.
So… Without further ado – July’s “Mane Event”

This is what is included in this month’s “Mane Event” package:
- Lilla Rose collectable cosmetic bag with aqua and ocean blue seashell pattern
- New Seastar Caspian Flexi Clip exclusive to LR Mane Event set. Not sold separately.
- Surprise Item! Brand new and limited!
- Sea Salt Spray Sample
- Inspirational quote with coupon code – share with a friend
- Winners! Two orders will be randomly selected to receive a purple ticket = 25 Lilla Bucks
- Available thru July 31 or while supplies last
The monthly promotion: Get a Lilla Rose medium sport flexi for $5 when you spend $60 AND get free shipping with orders of $75 or more.

In honor of Shark week, a special flexi featuring a sweet little guy by the name of Jaw-shua!

I woke up early this morning to do some yardwork, and the last thing I wanted was my hair to get in the way, especially considering I’d be pulling thistles, and it gets painful if they get caught in loose hair… I put my hair up in a bun using an extra-large flexi (my go-to size for buns, considering that my hair is long enough to sit on) with two U-pins I got from someone else before I learned about Lilla Rose, and not only did it hold through something like 5 hours of yardwork, a trip to the store and the waste dropoff point, but I went to church this evening with the bun still completely intact. Had I made the bun with ponytail holders and bobby pins, I probably would have had to redo it a couple of times, and I hate losing bobby pins in my hair! Right now, I’m at 14 hours with it, and it’s still holding fast. When I want it out, though, all I’ll need to do is pull out the two U-pins and then the flexi, which takes all of 5 seconds. I have slept with them in (though I don’t necessarily recommend that) and they’ve never been damaged. When I’d fall asleep with a ponytail holder in, it was so frustrating getting those things out of my hair afterward, because there was always a small amount of hair that was irrevocably twisted into the hair tie and the only solution was breaking the hair to get the tie out. I hated that, and thse clips are so much better!
Thank you & make sure to click through with my link:
https://www.lillarose.com/katja

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Life was hard then… (finding Lewis Johnson)

Anyone who has read the Little House on the Prairie books knows that things were much harder for Laura and the Ingalls family than the television show ever let on. The Long Winter alone is a terrible story of a time when it was uncertain that all of them – or any of them, for that matter – would live to see the spring. In her finished books, there’s always a sense of determination and hope that if they just hold on a little longer, things will have to change for the better. It’s only in the book The First Four Years, which really was only the beginnings to the next book she had planned, that one starts to get a sense that there were some very, very bad times and in the thick of it, one doesn’t always see the light at the other end.
I got interested in genealogy when I was nine, but I didn’t do much with it until my oldest was born, and I had a lot of time where I was just sitting and holding her because she screamed and fussed a lot when she got put down. The Chicago Public Library already had some nice resources that could be accessed from home, and as those things go, I was hooked.
It’s not like I’ve had a lot of time to devote to genealogy on a regular basis – five kids now keep me extremely busy without “frivolous” pastimes. I had always wondered about my Norwegian ancestors, though. My great-grandma Louise was the only one of my great-grandmothers who didn’t live to see me, and even her son – my grandfather – died before I was born, so I lost on that account as well. Years ago, I found my great-grandmother’s death certificate, and her father was listed on it. Score! His name was Lewis Johnson. Lewis Johnson who came from Norway, who came to the US to settle in Minnesota. Considering how many Johnsons there are in Minnesota, for many years, I figured that I had run into a brick wall, and this was the end of it.
Every now and again, I’d do a little genealogy work, and sometimes I would work on my grandfather’s family again. Eventually, it became apparent that there were siblings – six of them! Again, looking for “Charles Johnson” was like looking for a needle in a haystack, but I can be extremely tenacious with these things, and it was something that I could pick up, work on, and put down for awhile.
I knew my grandfather was born in and grew up in Turtle Lake, North Dakota. However, neither of his parents were from North Dakota, and since they were from different states (Iowa and Minnesota) I wondered how they ended up out there. I assumed that they met beforehand somehow, and moved out to homestead shortly afterward…
In any case, over the last decade, an incredible amount of information has become available online. Certainly Ancestry.com wants your money, but there are plenty of other really good sites out there, and many of them are free. FamilySearch.org is one of them, and a couple of months ago, I started playing around with their “world family tree” feature. More than that FamilySearch has thousands upon thousands of genealogical books scanned in, and a lot of them are available to look at for free. Furthermore, the Library of Congress has a free newspaper search engine which can be found here: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/ . Many state and local historical societies have resources such as newspapers available online as well.
Now, before this turns into a blog post about how to get started doing family research, the point of mentioning this is that through the Chronicling America archive, I found the newspaper report of my great-grandparents’ wedding in Turtle Lake back in 1906, which told me that they didn’t travel out there together. Furthermore, while I knew an aunt of hers also ended up in Turtle Lake, the newspaper article mentioned that two of her siblings were at the wedding, and it made it sound like they weren’t just visitors. These were all little things, but every bit helped.
I knew that they were from Delavan, Minnesota, and, in searching Find-a-Grave, I found a Lewis Johnson who died in 1889, who looked like he very possibly could be the “right” Lewis Johnson. I found an account for an anniversary book of that sister who had been out there (through FamilySearch) and found out that it was the right Lewis Johnson, but that after their mother died not even two years later, the seven kids – aged from 8 to 24 – banded together to keep going. Teaching was an occupation a woman in those days could support herself with, so my great-grandmother became a teacher and followed her brother and sister “out west” to teach… There she met my great-grandfather, who was homesteading, and the rest was history… kind of.
Again, searching for Lewis Johnson in Minnesota is no easy task. But now knowing when he died and an area where he lived, I started to poke around the newspaper archives to see what I could find. Wouldn’t you know it, but there was something about his death that made the papers…
Several days ago, Lewis Johnson, in charge of John Paul’s lumber yards in Delavan, Minn., mysteriously disappeared from home. His body was found by some boys fishing in the Blue Earth river in the vicinity of Payne’s Mill, near Winnebago City. The body had lain several days in the water, and the head and neck had been considerably eaten by fish. Financial trouble is said to be the cause of the suicide. He had been dabbling somewhat in the machinery business, and is said to have been embarrassed by money matters.
The Record and Union, Rochester, Minnesota, Friday June 7, 1889
Wow. The man was 48 years old, came from Norway as a child, married, had seven children, was gainfully employed. In some sense he was living the American dream, or so it would seem from the outside.
However, what goes on inside someone’s head is a different matter. The money troubles are one thing. Being father to seven children carries with it stress and responsibility. I hadn’t thought of it before, but his brother-in-law was a Union soldier in the Civil War, and there’s a good chance he was too. (The picture of his brother-in-law is haunting.) Who knows? Life was hard then. It wasn’t all wrapped up in a happy ending at the end of the episode. One didn’t even have the option of getting back “on the grid” when something needs urgent attention, such as emergency medical care. I don’t know the whole story, and I doubt I ever will, but even well over a century later, it’s very, very sad.
He left behind a wife with seven kids, who were between six and 22. Whether his wife was already sick, or if she died of stress or something else entirely, we’ll never know, but those seven children were total orphans by January of 1891. They stuck it out and stuck together, and though some would endure their own tragedy, this was more of the resilience that Laura Ingalls Wilder wrote about in the books about her life. I’m sure that when it came to my great-grandmother, having endured the death of her father as a 9-year-old and all the struggles in the ensuing years, it put her on a path where she wasn’t too afraid to go out West. She became stronger and resilient and lived to be 89 years old. Sure, there were plenty more sorrows to come, but had she given up like her father, she would have missed out on an awful lot of joy as well.

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Chronicling America, Delavan Minnesota, Family history, FamilySearch, genealogy, historic newspapers, historical societies, Iowa, Laura Ingalls Wilder, Lewis M Johnson, Library of Congress, Little House on the Prairie, Minnesota, North Dakota, Norway, resilience, The First Four Years, The Long Winter, Turtle Lake, Turtle Lake North Dakota