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  • Sunday Gratitude – 2.VIII.2026

    Sunday Gratitude – 2.VIII.2026

    Boy, has it been busy the last couple of weeks! More appointments than I could shake a stick at, and a couple of weekend events as well. I’m very grateful that things pretty much went off without a hitch, and appointments were met, things a t home have been pretty quiet, and events were enjoyable.

    One of the events that I went to last Sunday was German Fest in Milwaukee. I had toyed with the idea of biking the 16 or so miles up to church, and then continuing on the eight from church to the fest, but I’m happy that I didn’t do that. Instead, I put my bike in the car and drove up to church, changed quickly afterwards in the bathroom, then biked the 8 up to German Fest. I had never biked along the Lakefront Path before, and it was really beautiful, albeit busy with people, making it impossible to go very fast. For me, one of the draws is that I get to see people I know, and so that was really fun. (I just wish my German dress still fit me.)

    I biked the 8 miles back to the car, and at the end I was tired, and I was grateful I didn’t have 16 more to go, but I didn’t feel terrible either. Last year, I parked in a place where it was a four mile ride from my car to the fest, and on the way back, I felt like I was dying. However, I probably hadn’t even been on a bike in at least 2-3 years before then. And now, well, between the Thursday afternoon before German Fest and the following Friday afternoon, I biked over fifty miles, and it was challenging, but fun. 🙂 I’m grateful for the opportunity to be working on my health.

    Silly thing, but my older son was looking for 32 gigabyte SD cards for something. I figured that that was easy enough; as long as I can remember, those things aren’t wildly expensive. Imagine my shock when I walked into Best Buy to get one, and they all seemed to be over $45. Insane. I told him to hold off on buying one, and though I often have miscellaneous extra memory cards and such around, there was nothing that would help him in this instance. Mind you, though, that I haven’t purchased any of these in at least 3 years. The next day, he and his sister went to the gym, and I decided to check out WalMart. Wouldn’t you know, but the price was almost as bad. However, there were two associates who came up right by me, one of them holding a plastic case. Wouldn’t you know, but there were two 32GB SD cards in it. They seemed to be confused about where they wanted to put the item, as it had originally come from the outdoor section, as these two were marketed for trail cams. Nobody is looking for SD cards in the outdoor section! I’m sure this is why this was marked down to $8.50. I proceeded to ask if I could buy it, and they were happy to oblige me, as that also meant that they didn’t have to find a place to put them in the case. I am very grateful I didn’t have to shell out three times as much for the same item.

    After German Fest, I went over to my church’s church picnic. That was fun, too. The location is great, and it’s nice to hang out with good people. Summer days are beautiful like that.

    Speaking of summer days, we finally got some rain. I don’t think it rained at all in July until the 27th and it was kind of sad seeing everybody’s lawns turning brown. I had mowed right around the last week of June, and I had meant to a couple of weeks after that, and I actually started to, but after about 10 minutes of mowing, I twisted my ankle and it hurt too much to keep going. By the next day already, I didn’t know if it was safe to mow, but it was interesting to see how those strips that I did mow turned very, very brown, and I’m grateful I didn’t cut the whole lawn and have it looking like that.

    On the weather front, we had strong storms that came through on the 27th. Friends of mine in Milwaukee had power knocked out, but here, thankfully, we kept power, there was no hail, etc. Unfortunately, this was not the case in all of Wisconsin, and the town of Menasha, in particular, got hit badly. My kids and I signed up for an event months ago that takes place in this area; once I heard that there was a tornado, I checked back to see if the event had been cancelled. It didn’t seem to be, so we drove up to the area and just happened to end up on the street here that this man is driving on in the first 3 minutes of the video here.

    How did I end up in Menasha? Well, our first destination was in a small town called Combined Locks. The driving on the interstate had been miserable due to rain, and at a certain point, I couldn’t take it any more, and looked for the first exit off, knowing I could come up the western side of Lake Winnebago to get to where I wanted to go. It just happens that Menasha is pretty much on the western side of the tip of Lake Winnebago, so by getting off the interstate, it pretty much meant going through Menasha. It was weird, too, because at first, I just noticed that there were a lot of tree branches and stuff on the sides of the road, and it kind of dawned on me that that must have been a result of the storm. I did not know that within about 15 minutes, we’d be driving through a disaster zone like this. The crazy thing is, though, that once I got through Menasha, my destination was about six miles down the road, and over there, things looked completely normal. For as bad as the tornado was though, it’s amazing that not a single person was killed – certainly something to be grateful for.

    The event that the little kids and I went to was a bike ride/music festival called “Bike to the Beat“. The event took place on Saturday, but the four of us made a little mini-vacation out of it, and it was an awful lot of fun. The drive up was absolutely horrendous, lasting 4 hours when 2.5 is more normal. It rained the whole time and there were accidents and road construction in the Milwaukee area. I was so incredibly grateful both to get off the interstate and to actually arrive at the hotel.

    Manitowoc train tracks Lake Michigan

    BIke to the Beat was amazing, even apart from a couple of wrinkles in the day, and I am grateful that there were no mechanical issues with the bikes, we had all the tools, I didn’t forget any pedals or anything, etc. More than that though, the kids enjoyed the hotel a lot and we took a little detour through Manitowoc on the way back, and it was really a good trip. I’m the type of person who is always trying to anticipate what might go wrong in order to avoid any pitfalls, and when things go off with no major issues, I am grateful.

    I’m grateful, too, that after far too long, I got to video chat with a dear friend. I’m grateful, too that through everything, the friendship holds.

    Wow, it’s been a full couple of weeks! Thank you all for your patience with me! I am certainly grateful for all of you!


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  • Reblog: Today’s Cultural Moment (Ola Gjeilo) – Bluebird of Bitterness

    Reblog: Today’s Cultural Moment (Ola Gjeilo) – Bluebird of Bitterness

    I see that WordPress is handling the reblogs a little different than before. The piece over there is a piano piece called “Summer” by Ola Gjeilo, and it’s stunning. If you have a moment, click on over!


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  • Wordless Wednesday #35 – A Random Castle in Germany (Burg Randeck, Essing/Kelheim)

    Wordless Wednesday #35 – A Random Castle in Germany (Burg Randeck, Essing/Kelheim)
    Burg Randeck knight

    Burg Randeck Germany




    Knight

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  • Music Memory – “Motherland” – Natalie Merchant

    Music Memory – “Motherland” – Natalie Merchant
    Natalie Merchant – “Motherland”

    “Motherland” was released on November 13, 2001, in the period between the 9/11 attacks and when I headed off for Germany in early 2002. I had never been a 10,000 Maniacs fan, despite the urging of my friend Alec from high school, because in those days, I didn’t listen to much of anything that came out after 1973. That changed once I got to college, but that’s a story for another day. While I was in college, though, two songs from Merchant’s album “Ophelia” got some airplay – “Kind and Generous” and “Break Your Heart“, though the latter was only very occasionally.

    Despite the infrequent airplay, I really liked the song “Break Your Heart”. This, in turn, led me to buy “Ophelia”, and for a time there, it was probably fair to say that I was obsessed with the album. This is the reason that I bought the “Motherland” album the day it came out, and was absolutely shocked to see that the album was dedicated to the victims of 9/11, which had happened a scant two months prior. However, the album “Motherland” didn’t speak to me the same way “Ophelia” had, though I did listen through it a good number of times.

    I did love the title track of “Motherland”. The track begins lazy and swirling, evocative of music used in kids’ shows to indicate “France”, but is melancholy enough to also European locales much further east. I won’t go through the lyrics thoroughly, but the idea of the song is of someone encouraging another to leave the place they are in for good because the choice is the better for the one being encouraged to go. The hangup is that the place they are in is home, and the way the world is changing, there will be no way for the person being addressed to come back, and yet the singer is encouraging the addressee to be brave and go, even though the singer seems to be trapped in that place. There then is a little bit that touches on being tied down someplace and freedom.

    One of the most obvious things that this made me think of in my life was a dear friend whose family, because of their German ancestry, was able to leave what had been the USSR for Germany as everything kind of fell apart there. (I have no idea if she has any connection to Russia, but I’d wager “King of May” has some connection to Tsar Nicholas II, but I digress – again!) For this friend, even to go back there, there’s a deep familiarity, but his family is no longer there, friends have grown up and gone off, and the city even renamed itself a few years back.

    More generally, this happens to a lot of people. It happened to me when I was 13, that the only home I had known was gone, and there was no way back. As much as there is pain associated there, the decision to fight to keep going forward had to be made and had to be fought for on an almost daily basis. Over at Rod Dreher’s substack, the conversation has turned a bit to thoughts of home (paywall, unfortunately), both of returning (or the impossibility thereof) or making it to our eternal home. (This, in turn, got me thinking of this song, which got me writing about it, etc…)

    In any case, this song is incredibly connected to that time in my life in 2001 when I knew I’d be leaving everything behind again, though this time it was totally my choice and my responsibility whether I succeeded or failed. It is connected to that friend. It is connected to weird little memories of things like listening to it late at night while sitting at the laundromat on the military post where I worked in Germany.

    There is one place where I take issue with the singer, though. It’s where she sings “It’s your happiness I want most of all/And for that I’d do anything at all…” In the great scheme of things, happiness is often a fleeting emotion. What would I put there? Well, I know she’s not a religious singer, but the best thing I seem to be able to come up with to replace it is “holiness”. We know that wouldn’t fly, though… pop songs mentioning holiness? NO! But as somebody who has really struggled with the idea of “home”, it’s incredible how many people get pulled off of getting to the place where our souls are at rest with silly little quests for happiness.


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  • Sunday Gratitude – 18.VI.2023 – Who Knows Where the Time Goes?

    Sunday Gratitude – 18.VI.2023 – Who Knows Where the Time Goes?

    I really was just about to sit down and write this last night when my one cousin called. Normally, we end up talking for about half and hour, but this time, we were on the phone for over two hours, by which time it was way past midnight. Please forgive me for my tardiness once again! I’m terrible at calling her myself, so I’m grateful that she’s kind enough to want to call me.

    I’m grateful for the people at church, and our little knot of the English-speakers left there.

    As much as I miss them when they’re gone, I’m grateful to have gotten three quiet nights this weekend.

    I’m thankful to have been able to get the grass mowed. The neighbor has been kind enough to help me out a lot, but I don’t want him thinking I’m taking advantage of him either.

    I’m thankful that I think I’m slowly digging out of getting bills and paperwork straight but without a ton of penalties and such. Technically grace, I suppose, an maybe that’s a legal term here as well.

    The house stuff has been really discouraging, but even so, I’m grateful that I’ve been able to take care of what needs to be done, even if sometimes slowly.

    I’m grateful to the Chicago friends who came up to help with getting things in order in the house. Yes, we only managed a little, but it’s a lot more than what I would have gotten done in the same time alone.

    I’m thankful for little notes of encouragement along the way. (I think I also have my first paid subscription on Substack, which I am incredibly humbled by.)

    Speaking of Substack, I know I shared this in my Saturday on Substack post, but I saw it and laughed so hard I nearly fell over laughing. I’m grateful for being able to laugh like that, and to the people who are so incredibly creative and talented with such things

    As always, I’m grateful for each one of you, and hope things are well in your lives.


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  • Saturday on Substack 17.VI.2023

    Saturday on Substack 17.VI.2023

    A collection of random thoughts and links that I’m not going to get down as separate things! 🙂 https://breathofhallelujah.substack.com/p/saturday-on-substack-17vi2023

    Gab AI art trees flowers sun

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  • Wordless Wednesday #34 – A Random Castle in Ukraine (Kamianets-Podilskyi Castle/Кам’янець-Подільська фортеця)

    Wordless Wednesday #34 – A Random Castle in Ukraine (Kamianets-Podilskyi Castle/Кам’янець-Подільська фортеця)
    Ukraine Castle - 2007 - 2


    Ukraine Castle - 2007 - 3



    Ukraine castle window 2007

    Ukraine Church on a hill 2007

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  • Flag Day

    Flag Day

    Long before I started Junior ROTC in high school, I was well aware that there was a certain way that a flag should be treated.

    I grew up in a brick six-flat apartment building that rose up right next to a Chicago sidewalk, so a flagpole of any sort was out of the question. However, every summer my family would drive out to Minnesota to visit my great-grandma Mayme there, and though she lived “in town” – population 497 – I am sure that her yard was no less than a full acre.

    Standing proud as a sentinel next to the driveway, closer to the road than to her house, was one of the tallest flagpoles I’ve ever seen on private property. On that flagpole, she flew a large, American flag.

    Her flag was always in excellent condition made of better fabric than I’ve ever seen since. Even into her 80s, she insisted that proper flag etiquette was adhered to. First of all, the flag didn’t fly at night; it didn’t fly in the rain. When the flag was inside, it was folded in a neat triangle and tucked away respectfully in the breezeway. My great-grandmother was one of the sweetest people one could meet, she was quick in her humor, and her blue eyes were always sparkling and jolly. She was always tickled when my sister and I were around, but before we were allowed to put the flag up or take it down for her, boy, did we get an admonishment that the flag should never, EVER, touch the ground!

    At eight, everybody who is not also a kid seems ancient. Yes, I was aware that my great-uncle – her son – had died in a war, but to me back then, it was a fact as mundane as the sky being blue. It was a sad thing, but it was also abstract. Things happen. Of course people die in wars, and it would be logical that there would be someone in a family who died in a war. Life goes on. This was my thought process then, because although I understood the facts at a literal level, I didn’t have the life experience to understand them at a more human level.

    My great-uncle’s name was Carl, the same as his father, and the same as his grandfather. The line was broken, but both siblings would name sons after their brother, one even using the same middle name. I don’t remember him being talked about a lot, but then again, he had died thirty-five years – an eternity – before I was born. Being from the Lake Wobegone area, first, I could be faulted for assuming that Carl was an above-average child who was morphing into a good-looking man. However, in Carl’s case, it also was more or less the truth.

    Carl C Trovall

    My grandmother, Helen, was the oldest of the three siblings; she lived in the basement apartment of the apartment building where I lived. Although she didn’t normally start talking about her life when she was young, there was one afternoon when she did, and she started recounting stories, including heading off to the quarry with Carl to go swimming when it was hot, even though they probably shouldn’t have. They weren’t particularly important stories, but for the first time it clicked in my head that Carl was the sibling closest to her in age, and of course her recollections of childhood would be filled with memories of the living Carl, the little brother, the playmate, the kid that life would have been so different without. It makes me wonder if she didn’t talk about those times much because it would have involved talking so much about him. Is it any wonder, then, that her own son, born just short of four years after her brother’s death, would carry her brother’s name?

    There was another little thing in my life where Carl came up specifically. As kids, before the advent of caller ID or cordless phones, my sister and I answered the phone as a matter of course. We were schooled in phone etiquette, but at some point we saw on TV someone pick up the phone and answer with a funny greeting. “Roadkill Cafe, you kill it, we grill it!” or some such. My sister and I must have been discussing what we might use, and our mom caught wind of it and freaked out, making it extremely clear that if either of us ever tried such shenanigans, we’d be in big trouble. From what I understand, Jack, the youngest of the three siblings, then barely fourteen, answered the phone call with the terrible news that Carl was killed. Not having any idea who was on the other end or why, he had answered the phone with something like “Jack’s Crab Shack” or something equally silly. My mom didn’t want something similar to ever happen by us.

    Trovall Killed in Action

    The other story I was told of Carl was related to me by an aunt during a long car ride. Knowing this aunt, I don’t expect that all the details are right, but here goes. Apparently, Carl was engaged to a “very nice girl” at the time he was killed. According to my aunt, this young woman was given Carl’s medals that were awarded posthumously. I’m assuming that she was somewhere around Carl’s age, and, of course, there is still a lot of time for a twenty-year-old woman to find someone new. Eventually, she did get engaged again, but before her wedding day, she returned the medals to my great-grandparents, knowing that she was moving on from Carl’s death in a way that they never could.

    And so, it made sense that my great-grandmother so treasured the flag. Her own parents had suffered to make it to the United States, and her eldest son’s life would be required in service to this country. She had to have known that it was impossible for us, as little kids, to understand any of that, but at the same time, she was serious that any disrespect to the flag would not be tolerated.


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  • Sunday Gratitude 11.VI.2023

    Sunday Gratitude 11.VI.2023

    I’m back… The last couple of weeks have been more low-key. I’m thankful that I get a break from trying to get four kids ready for school five days a week. It’s tough! I’ve been trying to get up early (or at least as early as I would if they were in school) in order to work on cleaning, since we had all the craziness so much of the year with people being sick and such that a lot of keeping things in order just didn’t happen.

    It’s currently around 50F, which is crazy for a high temp in June, but it’s been raining, and the rain is sorely needed.

    I’m thankful that I got a few minutes without the kids to say goodbye to the neighbor who left. Hopefully, we’ll keep in touch. Even better would be able to head out west, but I don’t know if I’m crazy enough to attempt that this summer, at least.

    I’m thankful for getting to do some things with the kids. The three youngest have been more “game” to do things, and among these in the last couple of weeks, was going to see the “Super Mario Brothers Movie”. That was a lot of fun, even if the littlest – at three – had a hard time with staying put the last twenty minutes or so. Luckily, I think there were only about 15 people in the theater, and I think she was small enough that she didn’t obstruct anyone’s view by standing up.

    Sweet William drying on a nail by the kitchen window

    I’m thankful for people with patience and that there is so much out there where the most important thing is getting the thing done, even if it’s late in the doing.

    I’m thankful for the roof over our heads, etc. I’m thankful that when I do end up with headaches, it usually doesn’t last too long.

    I’m thankful for good things to read, both online and off, and the conversations that come of it, and camaraderie with people through the reading and writing.

    I’m thankful for the joy my three-year-old brings; smiles, giggles, little dances, hair that curls in the humidity, and the way she can sit and play with a dollhouse, talking to and for the critters and occasionally breaking into song. All of it goes by so fast!


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  • The Sunday Edition of “Saturday on Substack”

    The Sunday Edition of “Saturday on Substack”

    Writing and cleaning house don’t seem to mix. Someday the world will be in order and AI will clean the house so that I can write, yes? In the meantime, check out my post here: https://breathofhallelujah.substack.com/p/saturday-on-substack-10vi2023-monday


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  • Spring of Cary: Notorious

    Spring of Cary: Notorious

    The film studios may not have wanted Cary Grant to make movies that would destroy his image, especially in the early days, but there certainly were ways to build his character and a movie around that! Again, the movie is “film noir”, though with Alfred Hitchcock as the director, it would be a bigger surprise if the movie wasn’t a psychological thriller.

    Notorious begins with Alicia Hubermann’s father being sentenced to prison for being a German spy. Alicia, played by Ingrid Bergman, has recently received her US citizenship, but the road ahead is not rosy. Besides the small issue with her father, she’s an alcoholic and reportedly a woman of ill repute. She is quite beautiful, but as prickly as a porcupine.

    Into her life walks Cary Gr…, I mean Devlin, a man with no first name who apparently is fine riding in a car with a drunk woman driving 80mph on an unpaved road in Florida! I mean, if she doesn’t manage to kill someone, she could always drive off the road into a swamp and get eaten by a crocodile trying to exit the car! When she gets pulled over, he hands the officer his ID, the officer doesn’t write a ticket, and Devlin is saluted by the officer. Once the officer leaves, there’s a struggle for the wheel of the car, and Devlin does something to incapacitate Miss Huberman.

    Doesn’t she look a little like Marilyn Monroe here?

    When she comes to, she’s in her apartment and Devlin is there. She’s not fond of “cops”, but he’s offering her a job, using the fact that although she is German, he knows she’s loyal to the US because the agency he works for had a months-long tap on her phone. (I don’t remember it being explicit in the movie, but apparently Devlin belonged to the Secret Service.) The thing is, this job is in Rio de Janeiro, infiltrating colleagues of Alicia’s father who want to support the Nazis.

    Alicia reluctantly agrees, but two issues arise here: the first is that she’s not trained in espionage, and the second is that she and Devlin start to fall in love.

    As soon as Devlin and his US spook agency colleagues start talking about using Alicia as an intelligence asset, a sense of foreboding starts overshadowing the film. For me, it immediately brought to mind the story of Rachel Morningstar Hoffman, who was killed working as an informant for the Tallahassee police department due to asking a civilian to do undercover work for which he or she is not prepared.

    Then there is the love story, which gets complicated by the work they both are doing. I must be weird, but when the attraction started becoming obvious, I couldn’t help but think that he needed to be reassigned. Indeed, their stubbornness in the face of their growing feelings for each other end up putting Alicia in a position much more dangerous than was initially envisioned, and I think, in real life, would not have been sanctioned (at least I hope so!)

    In any case, I enjoyed the movie quite a bit. Hitchcock does well with having the story progress through the characters, and the actors are all up to the task. As the movie gets toward the end , the viewer gets caught up in whether a “good” resolution can come. Lots of suspense!

    From here, I’ve just got a few random obserations: Bergman’s accent works well for the most part here but she never sounded convincingly German to me. Thinking back on it, I think I know why. English has “th” – and we actually more than one sound for this blend, “th” like in “this” and “th” as in “thing”. Most Germans, even at a highly fluent level, will never get those sounds quite right. The words “this thing” become “zis ting”. Depending on the word, those “th” blends morph differently – “brother” becomes “bruhzer”, “tooth” becomes “toof”, etc. It will be the last thing a German will lose before not sounding German anymore. However, here she is with her accent, and yet she’s nailing 95% the “th” sounds because… Swedish also has them! (What is so bizarre to me is that her Swedish accent sounds nothing like a Swedish accent in English now, but there’s a reason for that, and the explanation would probably get boring here, but I’ll show examples, at the very least.)

    Ingrid Bergman interview
    Random Swedish guy on Youtube… (I’m kidding. Martin – The Swedish Lad – has an excellent instagram and youtube channels, mostly dedicated to learning Swedish. This is a much more “typical” Swedish accent these days.)

    It’s pretty jarring to see the attitude toward drunk driving. Yes, it’s considered a bad thing, but not something that Devlin felt a responsibility to stop.

    The clothing! Yes, it’s the 1940s, and yes, people dressed better, but seriously, the movie is supposed to take place in Florida and Rio de Janeiro, and everybody is wearing suits and fancy clothes everywhere! There’s at least one point when they’re still in Florida where Alicia says she’s cold, and I couldn’t help but think – “You’re supposed to be from Germany – the Germans live for the cold!”

    I just about laughed out loud near the beginning of the movie when Alicia is waking up from her bad night, kind of sits up, and pulls a hair rat out of her hair! (I wouldn’t have noticed that without Morgan Donner’s hair videos!)

    I think this was the first movie that I’ve watched with Ingrid Bergman. She’s definitely interesting to watch!

    Update: I was going to mention this, but I forgot, and then I saw it in Erin’s write-up, and figured it was a big enough thing to mention here. The man whom Alicia is supposed to ensnare is a friend of her father’s, and there’s no reference to him being a younger partner or anything, so the assumption is that he’s probably around the same age as her dad. I’m not sure, but that detail may be in there just to put a little bias against the character of Alex Sebastian before we even meet him, since it comes off, at best, a little “off”, at worst, extremely creepy. And the second thing – the woman who played Alex Sebastian’s mother! What a performance!

    This is the end of the Spring of Cary! Thank you to Lisa, who had the idea and who nudged me a little to participate. Her review can be found here: https://lisahoweler.com/2023/06/08/spring-of-cary-notorious/. Erin is also fantastic with these, and her review can be found here: https://crackercrumblife.com/2023/06/08/the-spring-of-cary-grant-notorious/


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