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  • Sunday Gratitude – 5.IV.2026

    Sunday Gratitude – 5.IV.2026

    To those celebrating today – Christ is Risen! – Happy Easter!

    And then there are the “weird” ones here who are still waiting another week, among which I count myself. There have been a lot of services already – yesterday, I think I was in church for nearly four hours. I’ve really struggled this Lent; from the beginning, I felt less ready for it than most years and this year… wow. For the greater part of Lent, I believed that the Orthodox were also going to be celebrating Pascha today, and it was only looking at the calendar more carefully a couple of weeks ago when I realized that no, there’s a one-week difference. I don’t know. I wasn’t expecting to spend so much time in church this weekend, but I was at vigil last night, and I certainly had the feeling of moving from the darkness into the light, and by the time the service was over, there was an air of hopefulness and joy there. For that I am grateful. (My brain did fight against this on the way home, though. *sigh*)

    I am grateful for the more spring-like weather, and the opportunity to be outside. I’m also grateful for my neighbor who invites me to come walking with her.

    I am grateful for friends who take the time to talk even in the rain.

    I am grateful for making it home in a storm the other day; I wasn’t expecting it, then all of a sudden, I was driving down this country highway with lightning flashes all around. I don’t think that they were very close, as there was only a tiny bit of thunder, but what a show! The next day, driving down those same roads, I could actually see how high the water is, and I’m grateful that there were no issues with low-lying stretches of road or the bridges.

    Mourning dove in wreath
    Time to take the Christmas wreath down!

    I am thankful to have had a little bit of time to be outside with my kids, and I’m thankful that they have places around that they can enjoy riding their bikes through, and that they’ve been fine with this “exploring”.

    I am thankful for the joy of singing.

    I am thankful for the things that are showing signs of life (and even blooming) even after a very cold winter and long periods of neglect.

    I am grateful for the opportunity to have been in contact with a number of people on this day, in the joy of Easter.

    I am grateful for yet another sign that I’m not alone through the hard stuff.

    Thank you so much for being here! Christ is Risen!

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  • Sunday Gratitude – 29.III.2026

    Sunday Gratitude – 29.III.2026

    I really hate it when it seems like I blink and yet another week has passed. Somehow so much of this time ends up feeling like a blur, and it seems like all that is left is a growing list of things that should have been done long ago, but haven’t been done yet.

    In the meantime, though, I’ve been trying not to lose a sense of gratitude, and to also try to make the most of the days at hand. We’ve had a couple of days that have hit 70F, which has been amazing, and especially as the days are getting longer, it would be terrible if we didn’t do something to take advantage of the warmer weather. My younger son had a day off of school a couple of weeks back, and the two of us went out on our bikes and rode ten miles together, and it was amazing. He also started taking pictures with my camera that afternoon, so I’ll be sharing a few of those in this post.

    Broken pier Wind Point Lake Michigan

    A couple of weeks after the real birthday, my youngest, in kindergarten, had her first real birthday party. It was a bowling alley affair, and, per the terms of the contract, was less than two hours long, but for a group of 5 and 6 year olds, it was fine. I was completely stressed out over this for at least a week for a number of reasons, but it turned out really, really good. Even the weather held out, kind of… It started raining about the time that the party started, and it was still raining as people left. Had we started a couple of hours later, everybody would have been going home in sleet, because we had a blizzard come through the next day. The kids were thrilled to get the day off of school, and despite the crazy wind, we never lost power. The next day, our dear neighbor made a path for our car using a snowblower.

    I’m grateful that even though I managed to break a spoke on the one bike (a different one than before), this happened in a place where I could ride to a place where I could leave the bike for a couple of days, and which was very close to the bike shop. On the night that this happened, I was also able to get a ride back home with one of the ladies from church. I’d never talked to her before, and she’s incredibly sweet, and lives just a couple of streets over from where I live.

    I’m grateful for the amazing time I had at St. Haralambos in Niles a couple of weeks back. Not only were some very dear “real life” friends there, I finally got to meet Fr. Andrew Damick in person. We have been online acquaintances (friends) for over 20 years, and it seemed like high time to meet him in person. He actually recognized me by sight as well, which is crazy because it’s been a looong time since I posted any photos of myself that he might come across. 🙂 That was a lot of fun, though.

    Breezy days and kites!

    I am grateful, as well, for the opportunity to visit an old friend and just enjoy sitting on the front step, having a conversation in the sunshine.

    In many ways, I feel pulled very, very, very thin. There have been a lot of good things, to be sure, but there have been a number of very, very frustrating things as well. I don’t know; at this point, I’m not sure that I’ll ever have things “figured out”, but there’s a path to go forward on, and that’s the way through this all. Forgive me again for the blog silence – I truly am grateful for you.


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  • Saturday on Substack 17.VI.2023

    Saturday on Substack 17.VI.2023

    A collection of random thoughts and links that I’m not going to get down as separate things! 🙂 https://breathofhallelujah.substack.com/p/saturday-on-substack-17vi2023

    Gab AI art trees flowers sun

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  • Wordless Wednesday #34 – A Random Castle in Ukraine (Kamianets-Podilskyi Castle/Кам’янець-Подільська фортеця)

    Wordless Wednesday #34 – A Random Castle in Ukraine (Kamianets-Podilskyi Castle/Кам’янець-Подільська фортеця)
    Ukraine Castle - 2007 - 2


    Ukraine Castle - 2007 - 3



    Ukraine castle window 2007

    Ukraine Church on a hill 2007

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  • Flag Day

    Flag Day

    Long before I started Junior ROTC in high school, I was well aware that there was a certain way that a flag should be treated.

    I grew up in a brick six-flat apartment building that rose up right next to a Chicago sidewalk, so a flagpole of any sort was out of the question. However, every summer my family would drive out to Minnesota to visit my great-grandma Mayme there, and though she lived “in town” – population 497 – I am sure that her yard was no less than a full acre.

    Standing proud as a sentinel next to the driveway, closer to the road than to her house, was one of the tallest flagpoles I’ve ever seen on private property. On that flagpole, she flew a large, American flag.

    Her flag was always in excellent condition made of better fabric than I’ve ever seen since. Even into her 80s, she insisted that proper flag etiquette was adhered to. First of all, the flag didn’t fly at night; it didn’t fly in the rain. When the flag was inside, it was folded in a neat triangle and tucked away respectfully in the breezeway. My great-grandmother was one of the sweetest people one could meet, she was quick in her humor, and her blue eyes were always sparkling and jolly. She was always tickled when my sister and I were around, but before we were allowed to put the flag up or take it down for her, boy, did we get an admonishment that the flag should never, EVER, touch the ground!

    At eight, everybody who is not also a kid seems ancient. Yes, I was aware that my great-uncle – her son – had died in a war, but to me back then, it was a fact as mundane as the sky being blue. It was a sad thing, but it was also abstract. Things happen. Of course people die in wars, and it would be logical that there would be someone in a family who died in a war. Life goes on. This was my thought process then, because although I understood the facts at a literal level, I didn’t have the life experience to understand them at a more human level.

    My great-uncle’s name was Carl, the same as his father, and the same as his grandfather. The line was broken, but both siblings would name sons after their brother, one even using the same middle name. I don’t remember him being talked about a lot, but then again, he had died thirty-five years – an eternity – before I was born. Being from the Lake Wobegone area, first, I could be faulted for assuming that Carl was an above-average child who was morphing into a good-looking man. However, in Carl’s case, it also was more or less the truth.

    Carl C Trovall

    My grandmother, Helen, was the oldest of the three siblings; she lived in the basement apartment of the apartment building where I lived. Although she didn’t normally start talking about her life when she was young, there was one afternoon when she did, and she started recounting stories, including heading off to the quarry with Carl to go swimming when it was hot, even though they probably shouldn’t have. They weren’t particularly important stories, but for the first time it clicked in my head that Carl was the sibling closest to her in age, and of course her recollections of childhood would be filled with memories of the living Carl, the little brother, the playmate, the kid that life would have been so different without. It makes me wonder if she didn’t talk about those times much because it would have involved talking so much about him. Is it any wonder, then, that her own son, born just short of four years after her brother’s death, would carry her brother’s name?

    There was another little thing in my life where Carl came up specifically. As kids, before the advent of caller ID or cordless phones, my sister and I answered the phone as a matter of course. We were schooled in phone etiquette, but at some point we saw on TV someone pick up the phone and answer with a funny greeting. “Roadkill Cafe, you kill it, we grill it!” or some such. My sister and I must have been discussing what we might use, and our mom caught wind of it and freaked out, making it extremely clear that if either of us ever tried such shenanigans, we’d be in big trouble. From what I understand, Jack, the youngest of the three siblings, then barely fourteen, answered the phone call with the terrible news that Carl was killed. Not having any idea who was on the other end or why, he had answered the phone with something like “Jack’s Crab Shack” or something equally silly. My mom didn’t want something similar to ever happen by us.

    Trovall Killed in Action

    The other story I was told of Carl was related to me by an aunt during a long car ride. Knowing this aunt, I don’t expect that all the details are right, but here goes. Apparently, Carl was engaged to a “very nice girl” at the time he was killed. According to my aunt, this young woman was given Carl’s medals that were awarded posthumously. I’m assuming that she was somewhere around Carl’s age, and, of course, there is still a lot of time for a twenty-year-old woman to find someone new. Eventually, she did get engaged again, but before her wedding day, she returned the medals to my great-grandparents, knowing that she was moving on from Carl’s death in a way that they never could.

    And so, it made sense that my great-grandmother so treasured the flag. Her own parents had suffered to make it to the United States, and her eldest son’s life would be required in service to this country. She had to have known that it was impossible for us, as little kids, to understand any of that, but at the same time, she was serious that any disrespect to the flag would not be tolerated.


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  • Sunday Gratitude 11.VI.2023

    Sunday Gratitude 11.VI.2023

    I’m back… The last couple of weeks have been more low-key. I’m thankful that I get a break from trying to get four kids ready for school five days a week. It’s tough! I’ve been trying to get up early (or at least as early as I would if they were in school) in order to work on cleaning, since we had all the craziness so much of the year with people being sick and such that a lot of keeping things in order just didn’t happen.

    It’s currently around 50F, which is crazy for a high temp in June, but it’s been raining, and the rain is sorely needed.

    I’m thankful that I got a few minutes without the kids to say goodbye to the neighbor who left. Hopefully, we’ll keep in touch. Even better would be able to head out west, but I don’t know if I’m crazy enough to attempt that this summer, at least.

    I’m thankful for getting to do some things with the kids. The three youngest have been more “game” to do things, and among these in the last couple of weeks, was going to see the “Super Mario Brothers Movie”. That was a lot of fun, even if the littlest – at three – had a hard time with staying put the last twenty minutes or so. Luckily, I think there were only about 15 people in the theater, and I think she was small enough that she didn’t obstruct anyone’s view by standing up.

    Sweet William drying on a nail by the kitchen window

    I’m thankful for people with patience and that there is so much out there where the most important thing is getting the thing done, even if it’s late in the doing.

    I’m thankful for the roof over our heads, etc. I’m thankful that when I do end up with headaches, it usually doesn’t last too long.

    I’m thankful for good things to read, both online and off, and the conversations that come of it, and camaraderie with people through the reading and writing.

    I’m thankful for the joy my three-year-old brings; smiles, giggles, little dances, hair that curls in the humidity, and the way she can sit and play with a dollhouse, talking to and for the critters and occasionally breaking into song. All of it goes by so fast!


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  • The Sunday Edition of “Saturday on Substack”

    The Sunday Edition of “Saturday on Substack”

    Writing and cleaning house don’t seem to mix. Someday the world will be in order and AI will clean the house so that I can write, yes? In the meantime, check out my post here: https://breathofhallelujah.substack.com/p/saturday-on-substack-10vi2023-monday


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  • Spring of Cary: Notorious

    Spring of Cary: Notorious

    The film studios may not have wanted Cary Grant to make movies that would destroy his image, especially in the early days, but there certainly were ways to build his character and a movie around that! Again, the movie is “film noir”, though with Alfred Hitchcock as the director, it would be a bigger surprise if the movie wasn’t a psychological thriller.

    Notorious begins with Alicia Hubermann’s father being sentenced to prison for being a German spy. Alicia, played by Ingrid Bergman, has recently received her US citizenship, but the road ahead is not rosy. Besides the small issue with her father, she’s an alcoholic and reportedly a woman of ill repute. She is quite beautiful, but as prickly as a porcupine.

    Into her life walks Cary Gr…, I mean Devlin, a man with no first name who apparently is fine riding in a car with a drunk woman driving 80mph on an unpaved road in Florida! I mean, if she doesn’t manage to kill someone, she could always drive off the road into a swamp and get eaten by a crocodile trying to exit the car! When she gets pulled over, he hands the officer his ID, the officer doesn’t write a ticket, and Devlin is saluted by the officer. Once the officer leaves, there’s a struggle for the wheel of the car, and Devlin does something to incapacitate Miss Huberman.

    Doesn’t she look a little like Marilyn Monroe here?

    When she comes to, she’s in her apartment and Devlin is there. She’s not fond of “cops”, but he’s offering her a job, using the fact that although she is German, he knows she’s loyal to the US because the agency he works for had a months-long tap on her phone. (I don’t remember it being explicit in the movie, but apparently Devlin belonged to the Secret Service.) The thing is, this job is in Rio de Janeiro, infiltrating colleagues of Alicia’s father who want to support the Nazis.

    Alicia reluctantly agrees, but two issues arise here: the first is that she’s not trained in espionage, and the second is that she and Devlin start to fall in love.

    As soon as Devlin and his US spook agency colleagues start talking about using Alicia as an intelligence asset, a sense of foreboding starts overshadowing the film. For me, it immediately brought to mind the story of Rachel Morningstar Hoffman, who was killed working as an informant for the Tallahassee police department due to asking a civilian to do undercover work for which he or she is not prepared.

    Then there is the love story, which gets complicated by the work they both are doing. I must be weird, but when the attraction started becoming obvious, I couldn’t help but think that he needed to be reassigned. Indeed, their stubbornness in the face of their growing feelings for each other end up putting Alicia in a position much more dangerous than was initially envisioned, and I think, in real life, would not have been sanctioned (at least I hope so!)

    In any case, I enjoyed the movie quite a bit. Hitchcock does well with having the story progress through the characters, and the actors are all up to the task. As the movie gets toward the end , the viewer gets caught up in whether a “good” resolution can come. Lots of suspense!

    From here, I’ve just got a few random obserations: Bergman’s accent works well for the most part here but she never sounded convincingly German to me. Thinking back on it, I think I know why. English has “th” – and we actually more than one sound for this blend, “th” like in “this” and “th” as in “thing”. Most Germans, even at a highly fluent level, will never get those sounds quite right. The words “this thing” become “zis ting”. Depending on the word, those “th” blends morph differently – “brother” becomes “bruhzer”, “tooth” becomes “toof”, etc. It will be the last thing a German will lose before not sounding German anymore. However, here she is with her accent, and yet she’s nailing 95% the “th” sounds because… Swedish also has them! (What is so bizarre to me is that her Swedish accent sounds nothing like a Swedish accent in English now, but there’s a reason for that, and the explanation would probably get boring here, but I’ll show examples, at the very least.)

    Ingrid Bergman interview
    Random Swedish guy on Youtube… (I’m kidding. Martin – The Swedish Lad – has an excellent instagram and youtube channels, mostly dedicated to learning Swedish. This is a much more “typical” Swedish accent these days.)

    It’s pretty jarring to see the attitude toward drunk driving. Yes, it’s considered a bad thing, but not something that Devlin felt a responsibility to stop.

    The clothing! Yes, it’s the 1940s, and yes, people dressed better, but seriously, the movie is supposed to take place in Florida and Rio de Janeiro, and everybody is wearing suits and fancy clothes everywhere! There’s at least one point when they’re still in Florida where Alicia says she’s cold, and I couldn’t help but think – “You’re supposed to be from Germany – the Germans live for the cold!”

    I just about laughed out loud near the beginning of the movie when Alicia is waking up from her bad night, kind of sits up, and pulls a hair rat out of her hair! (I wouldn’t have noticed that without Morgan Donner’s hair videos!)

    I think this was the first movie that I’ve watched with Ingrid Bergman. She’s definitely interesting to watch!

    Update: I was going to mention this, but I forgot, and then I saw it in Erin’s write-up, and figured it was a big enough thing to mention here. The man whom Alicia is supposed to ensnare is a friend of her father’s, and there’s no reference to him being a younger partner or anything, so the assumption is that he’s probably around the same age as her dad. I’m not sure, but that detail may be in there just to put a little bias against the character of Alex Sebastian before we even meet him, since it comes off, at best, a little “off”, at worst, extremely creepy. And the second thing – the woman who played Alex Sebastian’s mother! What a performance!

    This is the end of the Spring of Cary! Thank you to Lisa, who had the idea and who nudged me a little to participate. Her review can be found here: https://lisahoweler.com/2023/06/08/spring-of-cary-notorious/. Erin is also fantastic with these, and her review can be found here: https://crackercrumblife.com/2023/06/08/the-spring-of-cary-grant-notorious/


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  • Wordless Wednesday #33 – Lemon Whip

    Wordless Wednesday #33 – Lemon Whip
    Lemon Whip African Violet


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  • Helping friends in need

    Helping friends in need

    These are good friends of mine – the last couple of years have been crazy for them, especially the tales of how bad the mold in their apartment has been. They finally are able to move, but could use some help replacing items that they shouldn’t bring with them (basically, anything mold spores cannot be cleaned from – think of things like a couch or mattresses, for example).

    Any contribution is very much appreciated!


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  • Wordless Wednesday #32 – Just before the flood

    Wordless Wednesday #32 – Just before the flood





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  • Sunday Gratitude 28.V.2023

    Sunday Gratitude 28.V.2023

    I’m glad this week is over. It was almost chilly, but sunny, but it was so stressful with all the things going on, not in the least the kids’ last day of school. Craziness, all.

    I mentioned this in a comment over on one of Rod Dreher’s posts, but I’ve felt like I’ve had a lot of my “important” relationships over the last few years get distant. It’s not a distance in “feeling” but truly, having people who have to leave or have to attend to other things at this moment in time. This has happened so many times that it hardly feels like a coincidence, that it’s just another thing to bear through everything else going on now, but it makes me even more grateful for the times when I do have “my people”.

    I am grateful that I found a flash drive that I had considered lost. I backed up a bunch of documents on it, and I found it in my coat when I went for my mini-vacation. I didn’t remember seeing it after the trip, and I figured that I had probably left it in the bin at the one airport where they wanted me to have all the electronics out for visual inspection. Really? Do you know how difficult that is for me? Cameras, computer, computer dodad bag, etc. I know stuff got dumped from my pockets to the bin, and I was never sure that everything got properly collected, being as I couldn’t find that drive. And then I found it in the box where I put drives away when I’m being good about doing that. This truly makes me wonder if it wasn’t some kind of miracle… and I’ve needed miracles this week!

    I am grateful that one of my appointments didn’t require my physical presence, as it seemed impossible to find anyone to watch a small child for the duration.

    I am grateful for those who can forgive me for my mistakes.

    I am grateful for all of you for taking the time to read what I write. 🙂

    Cement block smile
    Strange faces

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