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  • Sunday Gratitude – 5.IV.2026

    Sunday Gratitude – 5.IV.2026

    To those celebrating today – Christ is Risen! – Happy Easter!

    And then there are the “weird” ones here who are still waiting another week, among which I count myself. There have been a lot of services already – yesterday, I think I was in church for nearly four hours. I’ve really struggled this Lent; from the beginning, I felt less ready for it than most years and this year… wow. For the greater part of Lent, I believed that the Orthodox were also going to be celebrating Pascha today, and it was only looking at the calendar more carefully a couple of weeks ago when I realized that no, there’s a one-week difference. I don’t know. I wasn’t expecting to spend so much time in church this weekend, but I was at vigil last night, and I certainly had the feeling of moving from the darkness into the light, and by the time the service was over, there was an air of hopefulness and joy there. For that I am grateful. (My brain did fight against this on the way home, though. *sigh*)

    I am grateful for the more spring-like weather, and the opportunity to be outside. I’m also grateful for my neighbor who invites me to come walking with her.

    I am grateful for friends who take the time to talk even in the rain.

    I am grateful for making it home in a storm the other day; I wasn’t expecting it, then all of a sudden, I was driving down this country highway with lightning flashes all around. I don’t think that they were very close, as there was only a tiny bit of thunder, but what a show! The next day, driving down those same roads, I could actually see how high the water is, and I’m grateful that there were no issues with low-lying stretches of road or the bridges.

    Mourning dove in wreath
    Time to take the Christmas wreath down!

    I am thankful to have had a little bit of time to be outside with my kids, and I’m thankful that they have places around that they can enjoy riding their bikes through, and that they’ve been fine with this “exploring”.

    I am thankful for the joy of singing.

    I am thankful for the things that are showing signs of life (and even blooming) even after a very cold winter and long periods of neglect.

    I am grateful for the opportunity to have been in contact with a number of people on this day, in the joy of Easter.

    I am grateful for yet another sign that I’m not alone through the hard stuff.

    Thank you so much for being here! Christ is Risen!

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  • Sunday Gratitude – 29.III.2026

    Sunday Gratitude – 29.III.2026

    I really hate it when it seems like I blink and yet another week has passed. Somehow so much of this time ends up feeling like a blur, and it seems like all that is left is a growing list of things that should have been done long ago, but haven’t been done yet.

    In the meantime, though, I’ve been trying not to lose a sense of gratitude, and to also try to make the most of the days at hand. We’ve had a couple of days that have hit 70F, which has been amazing, and especially as the days are getting longer, it would be terrible if we didn’t do something to take advantage of the warmer weather. My younger son had a day off of school a couple of weeks back, and the two of us went out on our bikes and rode ten miles together, and it was amazing. He also started taking pictures with my camera that afternoon, so I’ll be sharing a few of those in this post.

    Broken pier Wind Point Lake Michigan

    A couple of weeks after the real birthday, my youngest, in kindergarten, had her first real birthday party. It was a bowling alley affair, and, per the terms of the contract, was less than two hours long, but for a group of 5 and 6 year olds, it was fine. I was completely stressed out over this for at least a week for a number of reasons, but it turned out really, really good. Even the weather held out, kind of… It started raining about the time that the party started, and it was still raining as people left. Had we started a couple of hours later, everybody would have been going home in sleet, because we had a blizzard come through the next day. The kids were thrilled to get the day off of school, and despite the crazy wind, we never lost power. The next day, our dear neighbor made a path for our car using a snowblower.

    I’m grateful that even though I managed to break a spoke on the one bike (a different one than before), this happened in a place where I could ride to a place where I could leave the bike for a couple of days, and which was very close to the bike shop. On the night that this happened, I was also able to get a ride back home with one of the ladies from church. I’d never talked to her before, and she’s incredibly sweet, and lives just a couple of streets over from where I live.

    I’m grateful for the amazing time I had at St. Haralambos in Niles a couple of weeks back. Not only were some very dear “real life” friends there, I finally got to meet Fr. Andrew Damick in person. We have been online acquaintances (friends) for over 20 years, and it seemed like high time to meet him in person. He actually recognized me by sight as well, which is crazy because it’s been a looong time since I posted any photos of myself that he might come across. 🙂 That was a lot of fun, though.

    Breezy days and kites!

    I am grateful, as well, for the opportunity to visit an old friend and just enjoy sitting on the front step, having a conversation in the sunshine.

    In many ways, I feel pulled very, very, very thin. There have been a lot of good things, to be sure, but there have been a number of very, very frustrating things as well. I don’t know; at this point, I’m not sure that I’ll ever have things “figured out”, but there’s a path to go forward on, and that’s the way through this all. Forgive me again for the blog silence – I truly am grateful for you.


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  • Saturday on Substack 27.V.2023

    Saturday on Substack 27.V.2023

    Please bear with me while things are insane here! I did start writing this early on Saturday, only to get it posted on Substack this afternoon, and now, just under the wire or Sunday, here: https://breathofhallelujah.substack.com/p/saturday-on-substack-27v2023


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  • Spring of Cary: Suspicion

    Spring of Cary: Suspicion

    Perhaps you can jog my memory, but I’m trying to think of that Cary Grant movie where Grant plays the debonair man whose misfortune it was to be born to a lower station than he should have been but is still a hit with the ladies with his charm and presence – especially the rich ones! Oh, that’s half of the movies Cary Grant was in? My bad! It seems to have been a winning formula for the filmmakers, and I suspect that he was a killer draw for women at the box office!

    Suspicion is definitely one of the weirder movies that I’ve watched. In it, Cary Grant plays Cary Grant in a Cary Grant movie. (Or should that be Cary Grant plays “‘Cary Grant’ in a ‘Cary Grant movie’”?) By today’s standards, it would probably be labelled a “psychological thriller”. Then again, it was directed by Alfred Hitchcock, so it’s not like that’s a surprise. It takes the stereotypical Cary Grant playing Cary Grant theme and twists it round a bit without actually destroying the persona of Cary Grant completely.

    Gee, what a wonderful thing it is to be Cary Grant!

    The movie starts with the two main characters meeting, as strangers, in a first-class compartment of a train. Grant’s character, Johnnie Aysgarth, has a ticket for the train, but for the third-class compartment. I’m not sure exactly (I was folding clothes while I watched) but I think he swindled his future wife, Lina McLaidlaw, out of part of the difference in cost between the first and third class tickets. Johnnie is so swift about this, Lina hardly knows what has happened, and even as she starts to realize what’s going on, he uses his wiles so that she actually isn’t really bothered by it.

    Love at first sight?

    Lina is a rich girl, but when she catches wind that her parents are worried she’ll be a spinster forever, she’s determined to focus less on her books and more on finding a beau. Lucky for her, Johnnie is available, and he’s ridiculously good and keeping her off-kilter so that she thinks she’s madly in love and overlooks some of the red flags that start showing up.

    After a very short courtship, Lina and Johnnie sneak off to get married, against the wishes of her parents. After coming back from a very expensive honeymoon to a very expensive house, complete with servants, Lina discovers, to her horror, that Johnnie is not the person that she thinks he is (or imagines he is) but that he’s a con-man, he’s lazy, he’s inconsiderate, he’s a gambler, and that there’s a very good chance he married her for her money.

    From there, things just get worse. At one point, she considers leaving him, but changes her mind. She says it’s because she loves him so much, but were she to go back home, there would certainly be a lot of shame attached to that, and one can’t help but think that’s part of her consideration.

    We’re caught in a trap…

    Johnnie also seems to be quite interested in murder, and not only keeps up with a certain female author’s newest murder mysteries, but maintains a close friendship with the woman, as she conveniently lives in the same town as Johnnie and Lina.

    Lina’s world is full of suspicion and dread. Suspicion about what Johnny’s up to – could that include murder? and dread, insofar as any day the whole house of cards could come tumbling down.

    Lina gets to the point where she believes that Johnnie may want to kill her, and apparently, the original ending to the film had Johnnie poison Lina, but she wrote a letter to her mother telling her exactly what Johnnie was going to do. Come on now, what woman wouldn’t want to be poisoned by Cary Grant? I mean, how romantic! Yes, yes, I kid. The book that Suspicion was based off – Before the Fact by Francis Iles – has this ending, and Hitchcock seemed to want to stick to the book ending. However, why Hitchcock changed the ending is something that will probably always be up for debate. Hitchcock claimed, for years, that Grant’s studio wouldn’t allow Grant to sully his image by playing a murderer, and so the ending had to be changed. However, there is also a fair amount of evidence that Hitchcock’s test audiences did not like that ending very well, so a new ending was written.

    Cary Grant Joan Fontaine Suspicion

    Without giving too much away, the new ending is as ambiguous as a lot of the rest of the movie, because for all of Johnnie’s many faults, it’s not entirely clear that some of what Lina “sees” isn’t actually the truth, but her suspicion. That being said, Johnnie gives her plenty to be suspicious about. Some people call this ending the “happy ending”, but to me, it was as creepy as anything, because for people who have no true feeling toward others, two incredibly common ways of getting their “prey” to get back in line are through threatening suicide and telling the other person that everything is that person’s fault. I don’t know that those things would have been covered in the Child Psychology book Lina was reading on the train, though.

    This movie came out in 1941 and though Wikipedia calls it an American film, it’s very British, down to the old money, which I don’t have a clue about. (Since the 1970s, British money has simply been pence and pounds, for the most part, with 100 pence to a pound, but before that, you’d almost had to be British to understand it!) I don’t suppose Hitchcock had huge amounts of money to make the movie, but I do wonder if the privations of WWII affected its making somewhat. It did seem like it lost a lot in the beginning of the story, and being based on a book, that’s also not surprising. It’s hard to say if the actors seemed awkward together because there was always supposed to be a little bit of awkwardness between them, or if both of them were just trying too hard to demonstrate their uneasiness with each other. However Joan Fontaine, who played Lina, won an Academy Award for the film, and it’s the only Oscar for acting that any of Hitchcock’s films ever won.

    (The other thing that was that hearing the mid-Atlantic accents paired with the more British ones seemed to make the British ones seem less British and the “American” accents less American as well. The result was that it sounded like everybody was kind of in-between, but also not Canadian!)

    Now, I shall see what the other cinema compatriots have written about this film! You should too! Lisa’s review can be found here: https://lisahoweler.com/2023/05/25/spring-of-cary-suspicion/ and Erin’s take can be found here: https://crackercrumblife.com/2023/05/25/the-spring-of-cary-grant-suspicion/


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  • Wordless Wednesday #31 – Starts with “Q”

    Wordless Wednesday #31 – Starts with “Q”
    Quince blossoms

    Quince blossom

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  • Miscellaneous Thoughts on Heather Armstrong, blogging, and being a “creator”

    Miscellaneous Thoughts on Heather Armstrong, blogging, and being a “creator”

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  • A Little Bit of Housekeeping

    A Little Bit of Housekeeping

    WordPress has changed up their offerings a little bit and is now offering subscription services to anyone who has a paid plan, a la Substack. I don’t plan on paywalling anything here (and I barely paywall anything on Substack) but I have changed my pages up a bit so that if somebody does want to support my writing monetarily, he or she can do so directly through WordPress. That page is here: https://breathofhallelujah.com/affiliate-earnings-disclosure/.

    Furthermore, as I was updating things, I found that I do have a “Movies” page which I can make good use of now, what with all the movie posts! 🙂 The idea with the book and the movie pages was to link them all to the posts and to Amazon, as I was an Amazon Associate, but, after 10 years, my account inexplicably went dead, and all the customer “support” I got on the issue was that supposedly I was the one who cancelled the account and that I was “free to start a new account” whenever I felt like it. Well, I didn’t have time then to pursue it further or set up a new account, so it’s just kind of been sitting out here ever since. I *may* set up a new account, but I’m not ready to do so at the moment.

    I’m also hoping to make up some creative things to sell. Again, I just haven’t had time to work on any of that.


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  • Sunday Gratitude – 21.V.2023

    Sunday Gratitude – 21.V.2023

    Christ is Risen!

    Have you ever had one of those phases where you were just so busy that even getting normal stuff done – like going grocery shopping – seems impossible to squeeze in? I had appointments of one sort or the other for the first four days of the week, and I managed to confuse the time of one by two hours. I’m grateful that the person was understanding!

    The kids have one week left to school and I’m grateful that the end is well in sight. I’m looking forward to not having the first two hours of each day being dominated by getting stuff together for them, getting them ready, driving them there, and then driving back home. So many times, I’ve felt like I’m done with the day after that, and it’s only 9am. I’d like to actually get some progress on house projects done.

    I’m grateful that I got some time to spend with my dear neighbors who are moving. I heard the U-Boxes get delivered on Friday night and I just about started crying. On Saturday, I saw one of them outside and asked if they needed help with the loading of the boxes, and the answer was yes. They had a number of people there for some of the time, but most of them had to go after a couple of hours. I’m really going to miss them.

    I’ve been enjoying reading online and interacting with people, and although sometimes I feel like I’m slacking off by doing this, I’m grateful for the opportunity to get to read, write, think, and interact with other adults.

    I’m very thankful the kids are back home. They were only gone a couple of days, and I certainly crave the quiet, but I miss them when they’re away.

    Squishmallow on a chair

    As always, I am grateful for each one of you reading, and for your prayers.


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  • Saturday on Substack 20.V.2023

    Saturday on Substack 20.V.2023

    I managed to post this on Substack while it was still Saturday, despite falling asleep on a pile of unmatched socks. However, I wasn’t so lucky with the repost over here, but I’m getting to that now.

    https://breathofhallelujah.substack.com/p/saturday-on-substack-20v2023

    purple iris

    Love to you all!


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  • I Never Knew You

    I Never Knew You

    The Avett Brothers have a song called “I Never Knew You” that has a tendency to worm its way into my brain and not let go for several hours at a time. Since I’m a sharing person, here it is:

    Although some of the lyrics are almost nonsensical, the chorus is probably more profound than even intended:

    So I guess it's kind of funny how
    I loved you so way back when
    You say I wouldn't know you now
    Well, I didn't even know you then

    I’ve thought about those lines a lot, though mainly in the context of people moving on and changing. Then, about a week ago, I was listening to Jordan Peterson’s series on Genesis. In the talk about Genesis chapter 1, he started talking about betrayal, and how Dante considered betrayal to be the deepest level of hell. The whole 2.5 hours is worth listening to, but this particular point can be found right around minute 26. However, it’s what came next that gave me chills (28:07 in the video):

    But then, if that trust is betrayed, then all the snakes come forth very, very rapidly. All of you, I suspect, have been betrayed in one way or another. If you’re in a relationship with someone and you trust them, then you make certain assumptions about the past, and you make certain assumptions about the present, and you make certain assumptions about the future, and everything’s stable. You’re standing on solid ground and the chaos—it’s like you’re standing on thin ice. The chaos is hidden; the shark beneath the waves isn’t there. You’re safe; you’re in the lifeboat. But the instant the person betrays you…If you’re in a intimate relationship and the person has an affair, and you find out about it, one moment you’re in one place where everything is secure, because you predicated your perception of the world on the axiom of trust, and the next second—really, the next second—you’re in a completely different place. Not only is that place different right now, but the place you were years ago is different, and the place you’re gonna be in the future years hence is different.

    All of that certainty, that strange certainty that you inhabit, can collapse into incredible complexity. If someone betrays you, you think, well, ok, who were you? Because you aren’t who I thought you were, and I thought I knew you. But I didn’t know you at all, and I never knew you. All the things we did together, those weren’t the things that I thought were happening. Something else was happening, and you are someone else, and that means I’m someone else, because I thought I knew what was going on, and clearly I don’t. I’m some sort of blind sucker, or the victim of a psychopath, or someone who’s so naive that they can barely live. I don’t understand anything about human beings, and I don’t understand anything about myself, and I have no idea where I am now. I thought I was at home, but I’m not. I’m in a house, and it’s full of strangers. I don’t know what I’m going to do tomorrow, or next week, or next year. All of that certainty, that habitable certainty, collapses right back into the potential from which it emerged. That’s a terrifying thing. That’s a journey to the underworld, from a mythological perspective.

    Jordan Peterson https://www.jordanbpeterson.com/transcripts/biblical-series-ii/

    It makes complete sense. Sure, in the song, there certainly was a growing apart, but the reason that there is such an estrangement is that there was an element of betrayal there as well. It’s no wonder that the singer has no interest in getting back together with the person he’s singing to! Peterson describes the thought process here in paragraphs, but it’s something the song captures in four little lines, which reflect back to the title of the song.

    “You say I wouldn’t know you now, but I didn’t even know you then…”

    There is, of course, an even more famous occurrence of the phrase “I never knew you,” and that is Matthew 7.

    “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’  And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’

    Matthew 7:21-23 (NKJV)

    In this context, “I never knew you” also fits. In the context of the chapter, there is admonishment toward those who try to use God as a means to their own ends, for their own glory, like ravenous wolves in sheep’s clothing. That certainly is betrayal there, isn’t it? To say “I never knew you” lets it be known that as much as others may have been fooled or impressed or dumb about someone’s show of supposed righteousness, it does nothing to fool or impress God.

    And while I know that I probably overthink things quite a lot, but it’s interesting to me to see the stained glass and that it looks like they may have been recording in an old church. On one hand, probably totally unintentional, on the other, a very interesting coincidence, if it was.


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  • Spring of Cary: Operation Petticoat

    Spring of Cary: Operation Petticoat
    Operation Petticoat poster
    Promotional poster

    Thank you, Lisa (over at Boondock Ramblings) for suggesting this film! I was a little hesitant at first – I think watching Das Boot in high school “3scarred” me for life. (The sadder thing is, I don’t even remember if I watched it for my US History class or German class! I tend to think it was US History, but I do remember that it ran in German with English subtitles.)

    Erin from Cracker Crumb Life is always instrumental in these as well.

    At its core, Operation Petticoat is a comedy. That being said the backdrop to the movie is deadly serious, but the juxtaposition works.

    The movie is told as a memory, and the present day frames the beginning and the end. Grant plays Captain Sherman (later Lt. Commander Sherman) who can’t stand seeing an almost new vessel get scrapped due to it not being near a facility with the ability to fix it. If that weren’t bad enough, from that point on, it seems that everything that can go wrong, does, and then some, starting with Lieutenant (junior grade) Nick Holden (Tony Curtis) getting assigned to the ship. Sherman is a Navy man, does everything by the book, and Holden, despite his rank, hasn’t even been on a ship. Sherman regards him at first as being a pretty boy who has made his rank by kissing up to the right people, but it turns out that Holden has talent for a lot of things, some of which may even be legal.

    One of the things I appreciated were the shots that really demonstrated how tight the spaces are on a sub. I’ve toured a couple in my life, and the captain’s quarters always look so nice, but a submarine really is the definition of “close quarters”.

    Of course, for the men, it’s not a big deal, as they’re used to it, but then they take on a group of five nurses who have been stranded by a Japanese raid that destroyed the airstrip needed to leave the island where they were. And then the space feels so much tighter!

    operation petticoat tight quarters

    From there, things get even weirder, and that’s the crux of the comedy here. I have the feeling like the film could have been a disaster, had they gone the route of trying to make it more of a Gilligan’s Island type comedy, but Grant was masterful in his role, and as implausible as the whole scenario got to be, he was the pillar that really kept the film from being a circus.

    Looking up information about the film, it was the 3rd biggest movie of 1959. At that time, a lot of people still remembered WWII well, and even with the fantastical elements, had they done this poorly, I don’t think it would have been nearly this popular.

    One thing, though… Among the nurses, there is one who is older, and who I would have guessed to maybe be pushing 50, and at one point, she says that she’s 38… 38!!! Crazy!

    I’m in the middle of getting ready for another visit from the electrician tomorrow, so this is probably shorter than most of the film reviews I’ve posted. I liked this an awful lot, though, and I’m glad Lisa suggested it.

    (I watched this movie using Pluto.tv, which is free, but had a couple commercials every ten minutes or so. It wasn’t too bad, but I think I might actually get this DVD because I liked the film so much.)

    Update: I just watched it for a second time – wow – a lot of the lines are great! And Dick Sargent (of Betwitched! fame).

    Lisa’s review can be found here: https://lisahoweler.com/2023/05/18/spring-of-cary-operation-petticoat/ and Erin’s take can be found here: https://crackercrumblife.com/2023/05/22/the-spring-of-cary-grant-operation-petticoat/


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  • Wordless Wednesday #30 – Tiny Life

    Wordless Wednesday #30 – Tiny Life
    Newborn Baby robins in nest

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