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  • Sunday Gratitude – 18.X.2026

    Sunday Gratitude – 18.X.2026

    Hi everyone! Glad to be back here. I’m still struggling with a lot, and there’s a lot that’s really overwhelming. However, I’m going to give it a shot as far as gratitude here.

    Most importantly, probably, is that my son had a surgery on his ear a couple of weeks back, and everything went really, really well. Yes, he had the same surgery back in February on the other ear, and it went really well, but there’s still a good bit of nervousness attached to all these things.

    St Louis arch and church

    Secondly, I recently took part in the Serbian Orthodox Choral Association’s annual choir festival. Because it was only a week after the surgery, I wasn’t going to go, but then there were people who had signed up who either couldn’t go or couldn’t sing, and I was asked if there might be some way that I could go. I managed to get things arranged, and I went. It was an amazing trip, and I hope to write about it separately. Most of us who went ended up driving, including the people I rode with, but everything went off without a hitch, there were no accidents or incidents with the driving, and the event was a lot of fun. I am very grateful for that, and for getting to see the city and experience the city a little.

    If any of you are interested, our choir’s performance can be found here (our group starts at 45:15):

    The weather has gotten cooler, and I’m grateful for that (St. Louis at over 90F was quite a shock to the system). This just seems to be one of those patches that is especially rough, so I’d appreciate your prayers for me and my kids.

    Orthodox Church St Louis

    Thank you ever so much for following; you are amazing!


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  • The Sunday Edition of “Saturday on Substack”

    The Sunday Edition of “Saturday on Substack”

    Writing and cleaning house don’t seem to mix. Someday the world will be in order and AI will clean the house so that I can write, yes? In the meantime, check out my post here: https://breathofhallelujah.substack.com/p/saturday-on-substack-10vi2023-monday


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  • Spring of Cary: Notorious

    Spring of Cary: Notorious

    The film studios may not have wanted Cary Grant to make movies that would destroy his image, especially in the early days, but there certainly were ways to build his character and a movie around that! Again, the movie is “film noir”, though with Alfred Hitchcock as the director, it would be a bigger surprise if the movie wasn’t a psychological thriller.

    Notorious begins with Alicia Hubermann’s father being sentenced to prison for being a German spy. Alicia, played by Ingrid Bergman, has recently received her US citizenship, but the road ahead is not rosy. Besides the small issue with her father, she’s an alcoholic and reportedly a woman of ill repute. She is quite beautiful, but as prickly as a porcupine.

    Into her life walks Cary Gr…, I mean Devlin, a man with no first name who apparently is fine riding in a car with a drunk woman driving 80mph on an unpaved road in Florida! I mean, if she doesn’t manage to kill someone, she could always drive off the road into a swamp and get eaten by a crocodile trying to exit the car! When she gets pulled over, he hands the officer his ID, the officer doesn’t write a ticket, and Devlin is saluted by the officer. Once the officer leaves, there’s a struggle for the wheel of the car, and Devlin does something to incapacitate Miss Huberman.

    Doesn’t she look a little like Marilyn Monroe here?

    When she comes to, she’s in her apartment and Devlin is there. She’s not fond of “cops”, but he’s offering her a job, using the fact that although she is German, he knows she’s loyal to the US because the agency he works for had a months-long tap on her phone. (I don’t remember it being explicit in the movie, but apparently Devlin belonged to the Secret Service.) The thing is, this job is in Rio de Janeiro, infiltrating colleagues of Alicia’s father who want to support the Nazis.

    Alicia reluctantly agrees, but two issues arise here: the first is that she’s not trained in espionage, and the second is that she and Devlin start to fall in love.

    As soon as Devlin and his US spook agency colleagues start talking about using Alicia as an intelligence asset, a sense of foreboding starts overshadowing the film. For me, it immediately brought to mind the story of Rachel Morningstar Hoffman, who was killed working as an informant for the Tallahassee police department due to asking a civilian to do undercover work for which he or she is not prepared.

    Then there is the love story, which gets complicated by the work they both are doing. I must be weird, but when the attraction started becoming obvious, I couldn’t help but think that he needed to be reassigned. Indeed, their stubbornness in the face of their growing feelings for each other end up putting Alicia in a position much more dangerous than was initially envisioned, and I think, in real life, would not have been sanctioned (at least I hope so!)

    In any case, I enjoyed the movie quite a bit. Hitchcock does well with having the story progress through the characters, and the actors are all up to the task. As the movie gets toward the end , the viewer gets caught up in whether a “good” resolution can come. Lots of suspense!

    From here, I’ve just got a few random obserations: Bergman’s accent works well for the most part here but she never sounded convincingly German to me. Thinking back on it, I think I know why. English has “th” – and we actually more than one sound for this blend, “th” like in “this” and “th” as in “thing”. Most Germans, even at a highly fluent level, will never get those sounds quite right. The words “this thing” become “zis ting”. Depending on the word, those “th” blends morph differently – “brother” becomes “bruhzer”, “tooth” becomes “toof”, etc. It will be the last thing a German will lose before not sounding German anymore. However, here she is with her accent, and yet she’s nailing 95% the “th” sounds because… Swedish also has them! (What is so bizarre to me is that her Swedish accent sounds nothing like a Swedish accent in English now, but there’s a reason for that, and the explanation would probably get boring here, but I’ll show examples, at the very least.)

    Ingrid Bergman interview
    Random Swedish guy on Youtube… (I’m kidding. Martin – The Swedish Lad – has an excellent instagram and youtube channels, mostly dedicated to learning Swedish. This is a much more “typical” Swedish accent these days.)

    It’s pretty jarring to see the attitude toward drunk driving. Yes, it’s considered a bad thing, but not something that Devlin felt a responsibility to stop.

    The clothing! Yes, it’s the 1940s, and yes, people dressed better, but seriously, the movie is supposed to take place in Florida and Rio de Janeiro, and everybody is wearing suits and fancy clothes everywhere! There’s at least one point when they’re still in Florida where Alicia says she’s cold, and I couldn’t help but think – “You’re supposed to be from Germany – the Germans live for the cold!”

    I just about laughed out loud near the beginning of the movie when Alicia is waking up from her bad night, kind of sits up, and pulls a hair rat out of her hair! (I wouldn’t have noticed that without Morgan Donner’s hair videos!)

    I think this was the first movie that I’ve watched with Ingrid Bergman. She’s definitely interesting to watch!

    Update: I was going to mention this, but I forgot, and then I saw it in Erin’s write-up, and figured it was a big enough thing to mention here. The man whom Alicia is supposed to ensnare is a friend of her father’s, and there’s no reference to him being a younger partner or anything, so the assumption is that he’s probably around the same age as her dad. I’m not sure, but that detail may be in there just to put a little bias against the character of Alex Sebastian before we even meet him, since it comes off, at best, a little “off”, at worst, extremely creepy. And the second thing – the woman who played Alex Sebastian’s mother! What a performance!

    This is the end of the Spring of Cary! Thank you to Lisa, who had the idea and who nudged me a little to participate. Her review can be found here: https://lisahoweler.com/2023/06/08/spring-of-cary-notorious/. Erin is also fantastic with these, and her review can be found here: https://crackercrumblife.com/2023/06/08/the-spring-of-cary-grant-notorious/


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  • Wordless Wednesday #33 – Lemon Whip

    Wordless Wednesday #33 – Lemon Whip
    Lemon Whip African Violet


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  • Helping friends in need

    Helping friends in need

    These are good friends of mine – the last couple of years have been crazy for them, especially the tales of how bad the mold in their apartment has been. They finally are able to move, but could use some help replacing items that they shouldn’t bring with them (basically, anything mold spores cannot be cleaned from – think of things like a couch or mattresses, for example).

    Any contribution is very much appreciated!


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  • Wordless Wednesday #32 – Just before the flood

    Wordless Wednesday #32 – Just before the flood





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  • Sunday Gratitude 28.V.2023

    Sunday Gratitude 28.V.2023

    I’m glad this week is over. It was almost chilly, but sunny, but it was so stressful with all the things going on, not in the least the kids’ last day of school. Craziness, all.

    I mentioned this in a comment over on one of Rod Dreher’s posts, but I’ve felt like I’ve had a lot of my “important” relationships over the last few years get distant. It’s not a distance in “feeling” but truly, having people who have to leave or have to attend to other things at this moment in time. This has happened so many times that it hardly feels like a coincidence, that it’s just another thing to bear through everything else going on now, but it makes me even more grateful for the times when I do have “my people”.

    I am grateful that I found a flash drive that I had considered lost. I backed up a bunch of documents on it, and I found it in my coat when I went for my mini-vacation. I didn’t remember seeing it after the trip, and I figured that I had probably left it in the bin at the one airport where they wanted me to have all the electronics out for visual inspection. Really? Do you know how difficult that is for me? Cameras, computer, computer dodad bag, etc. I know stuff got dumped from my pockets to the bin, and I was never sure that everything got properly collected, being as I couldn’t find that drive. And then I found it in the box where I put drives away when I’m being good about doing that. This truly makes me wonder if it wasn’t some kind of miracle… and I’ve needed miracles this week!

    I am grateful that one of my appointments didn’t require my physical presence, as it seemed impossible to find anyone to watch a small child for the duration.

    I am grateful for those who can forgive me for my mistakes.

    I am grateful for all of you for taking the time to read what I write. 🙂

    Cement block smile
    Strange faces

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  • Saturday on Substack 27.V.2023

    Saturday on Substack 27.V.2023

    Please bear with me while things are insane here! I did start writing this early on Saturday, only to get it posted on Substack this afternoon, and now, just under the wire or Sunday, here: https://breathofhallelujah.substack.com/p/saturday-on-substack-27v2023


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  • Spring of Cary: Suspicion

    Spring of Cary: Suspicion

    Perhaps you can jog my memory, but I’m trying to think of that Cary Grant movie where Grant plays the debonair man whose misfortune it was to be born to a lower station than he should have been but is still a hit with the ladies with his charm and presence – especially the rich ones! Oh, that’s half of the movies Cary Grant was in? My bad! It seems to have been a winning formula for the filmmakers, and I suspect that he was a killer draw for women at the box office!

    Suspicion is definitely one of the weirder movies that I’ve watched. In it, Cary Grant plays Cary Grant in a Cary Grant movie. (Or should that be Cary Grant plays “‘Cary Grant’ in a ‘Cary Grant movie’”?) By today’s standards, it would probably be labelled a “psychological thriller”. Then again, it was directed by Alfred Hitchcock, so it’s not like that’s a surprise. It takes the stereotypical Cary Grant playing Cary Grant theme and twists it round a bit without actually destroying the persona of Cary Grant completely.

    Gee, what a wonderful thing it is to be Cary Grant!

    The movie starts with the two main characters meeting, as strangers, in a first-class compartment of a train. Grant’s character, Johnnie Aysgarth, has a ticket for the train, but for the third-class compartment. I’m not sure exactly (I was folding clothes while I watched) but I think he swindled his future wife, Lina McLaidlaw, out of part of the difference in cost between the first and third class tickets. Johnnie is so swift about this, Lina hardly knows what has happened, and even as she starts to realize what’s going on, he uses his wiles so that she actually isn’t really bothered by it.

    Love at first sight?

    Lina is a rich girl, but when she catches wind that her parents are worried she’ll be a spinster forever, she’s determined to focus less on her books and more on finding a beau. Lucky for her, Johnnie is available, and he’s ridiculously good and keeping her off-kilter so that she thinks she’s madly in love and overlooks some of the red flags that start showing up.

    After a very short courtship, Lina and Johnnie sneak off to get married, against the wishes of her parents. After coming back from a very expensive honeymoon to a very expensive house, complete with servants, Lina discovers, to her horror, that Johnnie is not the person that she thinks he is (or imagines he is) but that he’s a con-man, he’s lazy, he’s inconsiderate, he’s a gambler, and that there’s a very good chance he married her for her money.

    From there, things just get worse. At one point, she considers leaving him, but changes her mind. She says it’s because she loves him so much, but were she to go back home, there would certainly be a lot of shame attached to that, and one can’t help but think that’s part of her consideration.

    We’re caught in a trap…

    Johnnie also seems to be quite interested in murder, and not only keeps up with a certain female author’s newest murder mysteries, but maintains a close friendship with the woman, as she conveniently lives in the same town as Johnnie and Lina.

    Lina’s world is full of suspicion and dread. Suspicion about what Johnny’s up to – could that include murder? and dread, insofar as any day the whole house of cards could come tumbling down.

    Lina gets to the point where she believes that Johnnie may want to kill her, and apparently, the original ending to the film had Johnnie poison Lina, but she wrote a letter to her mother telling her exactly what Johnnie was going to do. Come on now, what woman wouldn’t want to be poisoned by Cary Grant? I mean, how romantic! Yes, yes, I kid. The book that Suspicion was based off – Before the Fact by Francis Iles – has this ending, and Hitchcock seemed to want to stick to the book ending. However, why Hitchcock changed the ending is something that will probably always be up for debate. Hitchcock claimed, for years, that Grant’s studio wouldn’t allow Grant to sully his image by playing a murderer, and so the ending had to be changed. However, there is also a fair amount of evidence that Hitchcock’s test audiences did not like that ending very well, so a new ending was written.

    Cary Grant Joan Fontaine Suspicion

    Without giving too much away, the new ending is as ambiguous as a lot of the rest of the movie, because for all of Johnnie’s many faults, it’s not entirely clear that some of what Lina “sees” isn’t actually the truth, but her suspicion. That being said, Johnnie gives her plenty to be suspicious about. Some people call this ending the “happy ending”, but to me, it was as creepy as anything, because for people who have no true feeling toward others, two incredibly common ways of getting their “prey” to get back in line are through threatening suicide and telling the other person that everything is that person’s fault. I don’t know that those things would have been covered in the Child Psychology book Lina was reading on the train, though.

    This movie came out in 1941 and though Wikipedia calls it an American film, it’s very British, down to the old money, which I don’t have a clue about. (Since the 1970s, British money has simply been pence and pounds, for the most part, with 100 pence to a pound, but before that, you’d almost had to be British to understand it!) I don’t suppose Hitchcock had huge amounts of money to make the movie, but I do wonder if the privations of WWII affected its making somewhat. It did seem like it lost a lot in the beginning of the story, and being based on a book, that’s also not surprising. It’s hard to say if the actors seemed awkward together because there was always supposed to be a little bit of awkwardness between them, or if both of them were just trying too hard to demonstrate their uneasiness with each other. However Joan Fontaine, who played Lina, won an Academy Award for the film, and it’s the only Oscar for acting that any of Hitchcock’s films ever won.

    (The other thing that was that hearing the mid-Atlantic accents paired with the more British ones seemed to make the British ones seem less British and the “American” accents less American as well. The result was that it sounded like everybody was kind of in-between, but also not Canadian!)

    Now, I shall see what the other cinema compatriots have written about this film! You should too! Lisa’s review can be found here: https://lisahoweler.com/2023/05/25/spring-of-cary-suspicion/ and Erin’s take can be found here: https://crackercrumblife.com/2023/05/25/the-spring-of-cary-grant-suspicion/


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  • Wordless Wednesday #31 – Starts with “Q”

    Wordless Wednesday #31 – Starts with “Q”
    Quince blossoms

    Quince blossom

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  • Miscellaneous Thoughts on Heather Armstrong, blogging, and being a “creator”

    Miscellaneous Thoughts on Heather Armstrong, blogging, and being a “creator”

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