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  • Sunday Gratitude – 5.IV.2026

    Sunday Gratitude – 5.IV.2026

    To those celebrating today – Christ is Risen! – Happy Easter!

    And then there are the “weird” ones here who are still waiting another week, among which I count myself. There have been a lot of services already – yesterday, I think I was in church for nearly four hours. I’ve really struggled this Lent; from the beginning, I felt less ready for it than most years and this year… wow. For the greater part of Lent, I believed that the Orthodox were also going to be celebrating Pascha today, and it was only looking at the calendar more carefully a couple of weeks ago when I realized that no, there’s a one-week difference. I don’t know. I wasn’t expecting to spend so much time in church this weekend, but I was at vigil last night, and I certainly had the feeling of moving from the darkness into the light, and by the time the service was over, there was an air of hopefulness and joy there. For that I am grateful. (My brain did fight against this on the way home, though. *sigh*)

    I am grateful for the more spring-like weather, and the opportunity to be outside. I’m also grateful for my neighbor who invites me to come walking with her.

    I am grateful for friends who take the time to talk even in the rain.

    I am grateful for making it home in a storm the other day; I wasn’t expecting it, then all of a sudden, I was driving down this country highway with lightning flashes all around. I don’t think that they were very close, as there was only a tiny bit of thunder, but what a show! The next day, driving down those same roads, I could actually see how high the water is, and I’m grateful that there were no issues with low-lying stretches of road or the bridges.

    Mourning dove in wreath
    Time to take the Christmas wreath down!

    I am thankful to have had a little bit of time to be outside with my kids, and I’m thankful that they have places around that they can enjoy riding their bikes through, and that they’ve been fine with this “exploring”.

    I am thankful for the joy of singing.

    I am thankful for the things that are showing signs of life (and even blooming) even after a very cold winter and long periods of neglect.

    I am grateful for the opportunity to have been in contact with a number of people on this day, in the joy of Easter.

    I am grateful for yet another sign that I’m not alone through the hard stuff.

    Thank you so much for being here! Christ is Risen!

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  • Sunday Gratitude – 29.III.2026

    Sunday Gratitude – 29.III.2026

    I really hate it when it seems like I blink and yet another week has passed. Somehow so much of this time ends up feeling like a blur, and it seems like all that is left is a growing list of things that should have been done long ago, but haven’t been done yet.

    In the meantime, though, I’ve been trying not to lose a sense of gratitude, and to also try to make the most of the days at hand. We’ve had a couple of days that have hit 70F, which has been amazing, and especially as the days are getting longer, it would be terrible if we didn’t do something to take advantage of the warmer weather. My younger son had a day off of school a couple of weeks back, and the two of us went out on our bikes and rode ten miles together, and it was amazing. He also started taking pictures with my camera that afternoon, so I’ll be sharing a few of those in this post.

    Broken pier Wind Point Lake Michigan

    A couple of weeks after the real birthday, my youngest, in kindergarten, had her first real birthday party. It was a bowling alley affair, and, per the terms of the contract, was less than two hours long, but for a group of 5 and 6 year olds, it was fine. I was completely stressed out over this for at least a week for a number of reasons, but it turned out really, really good. Even the weather held out, kind of… It started raining about the time that the party started, and it was still raining as people left. Had we started a couple of hours later, everybody would have been going home in sleet, because we had a blizzard come through the next day. The kids were thrilled to get the day off of school, and despite the crazy wind, we never lost power. The next day, our dear neighbor made a path for our car using a snowblower.

    I’m grateful that even though I managed to break a spoke on the one bike (a different one than before), this happened in a place where I could ride to a place where I could leave the bike for a couple of days, and which was very close to the bike shop. On the night that this happened, I was also able to get a ride back home with one of the ladies from church. I’d never talked to her before, and she’s incredibly sweet, and lives just a couple of streets over from where I live.

    I’m grateful for the amazing time I had at St. Haralambos in Niles a couple of weeks back. Not only were some very dear “real life” friends there, I finally got to meet Fr. Andrew Damick in person. We have been online acquaintances (friends) for over 20 years, and it seemed like high time to meet him in person. He actually recognized me by sight as well, which is crazy because it’s been a looong time since I posted any photos of myself that he might come across. 🙂 That was a lot of fun, though.

    Breezy days and kites!

    I am grateful, as well, for the opportunity to visit an old friend and just enjoy sitting on the front step, having a conversation in the sunshine.

    In many ways, I feel pulled very, very, very thin. There have been a lot of good things, to be sure, but there have been a number of very, very frustrating things as well. I don’t know; at this point, I’m not sure that I’ll ever have things “figured out”, but there’s a path to go forward on, and that’s the way through this all. Forgive me again for the blog silence – I truly am grateful for you.


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  • Psychedelics, Rod Dreher, Malachi Martin, Harry Potter – immortality?

    Psychedelics, Rod Dreher, Malachi Martin, Harry Potter – immortality?

    So, Rod Dreher has a forthcoming book on enchantment, and from what I understand, he’s also going to be going into dark/false enchantment a little bit. As part of this, on his Substack, he’s been discussing subjects such as UFO phenomena, artificial intelligence, and psychedelics as examples of modern false enchantments. On the surface, none of these things necessarily scream “conduit to demons”, but as one gets further down into all three of these, there’s a really unsettling amount of really weird, religious type stuff that seems to attach itself to all of it. 

    The funny thing is, I’m just about done with Malachi Martin’s book, Hostage to the Devil. About two-thirds of the way through, instead of being shocked and horrified, I got hit with a very depressive sense surrounding the book, kind of a profound sadness connected to how easy it seems to be for evil spirits to capture people sometimes, especially when they are self-assured to the point of being prideful. It seems like we still fall for the very old promise that if we eat from the fruit, we shall be as gods… 

    The last case that Martin writes about is about a professor who, as a child, realized that he had some psychic ability. He was so taken by this that his whole life became dedicated to the study of parapsychology, eventually becoming a professor in that field. It is in that capacity that he meets a Roman Catholic priest who takes a couple of his classes. Little does he know, but the priest, too, has some innate psychic ability. 

    However, the difference between the two of them is that the professor is chasing the experience of his psychic abilities, never questioning whether what he experiences is the truth or not, whereas the priest is much more cognizant that the ability and the experience are not the same thing, and even in the unseen realm (and probably especially so), every spirit must be tested. 

    I am an ardent believer in the realms of the unseen. Heck, I miss enough of what actually is visible, it’s really no stretch of the imagination that there are lots of things out there that most people will never have the slightest knowledge of, nor is it important to the fabric of their lives. I am fascinated, though, of the stories of holy people – particularly monks – who seem to be able to see things on a different plane – people’s thoughts or infirmities, communicating with people at long distances, even bilocation and the occasional remote rescue. The thing in common here, though, is that when, say, a Christian monk enters that realm, it’s through years of aesthetic practice and discipline. It is not the experience that is sought out.

    Psychedelics, for one, offer the user a shortcut, or “hack”, to the experience. Sure, the user may experience something of that other plane, but they totally lack what they need to comprehend it or to armor themselves against the evil spirits who are looking for easy prey. 

    Furthermore, by assuming that the experience is just a chemical reaction in the brain, it makes it seem as though religion as we know it can be explained and controlled through chemical and/or technological means. Those with the expertise to do this – whether they be modules of “artificial intelligence” or “aliens” – they become the gods who are worshipped and charged to rule the masses. 

    Mind you, a lot of this emergent technological development, while not new in conception, has a lot more “mainstream” support. And of course, one of the goals of it all is the eternal desire of many to live forever. 

    The combination of all these things got me thinking of Harry Potter. Well, Harry Potter and every story where the hero goes through all sorts of trial and tribulation to possess something that others desire for power, without desiring that power for one’s self. In Harry Potter, the Philosopher’s Stone (Sorcerer’s Stone in some editions) is like this; it is highly desired for its granting of immortality to the one who possesses it. For this reason, Voldemort is willing to kill for it, regardless of the fact that even if he would acquire immortality, it would be a cursed existence due to the evil that Voldemort undertook in order to gain that immortality. In some sense, I’d say, Voldemort was looking to “hack” his way into immortality. 

    The flip side to this is when Harry seems to enter a realm between life and death, and this is where he meets Dumbledore again, even though Dumbledore has been dead for a year by this time. At one point, Harry questions Dumbledore about whether this is all real or in his head. Dumbledore responds by assuring him that yes, this is happening in his head, then questioning why something “in one’s head” can’t simultaneously be real. It’s a very good question. But assuming that Dumbledore is real there – perhaps residing “beyond the veil” – he has achieved some sort of immortality, and it’s obviously a much more blessed state than Voldemort ever could dream of. 

    In the same way, I think that if we do try to attain “higher consciousness” through the “hacks”, we will often end up very much in a cursed state like Voldemort, and we allow evil to work itself in. 


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  • Wordless Wednesday #57 – Ironmongery

    Wordless Wednesday #57 – Ironmongery







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  • The power of “no”

    The power of “no”

    This is scary:

    For a little background, Brendan Kavanagh is a pianist and a Youtuber with over 2 million subscribers. His biggest “thing” is playing at public pianos and playing, but also getting people interested in talking with or performing with him. Being public pianos, the instruments are not in the greatest shape, Kavanagh has a knack not just at getting the most out of the instruments, but getting the best in the people that he interacts with, inviting them to chat, play the piano, sing, or dance. It’s uplifting, and this world certainly needs more of that! 

    Here, though, he’s being bullied by Chinese Communists. Who they are and what or who they represent is almost beside the point; they come up to him and demand that none of them show up on the internet. Never mind the man is doing a livestream with hundreds of viewers, so that train has already left the station. When he points out that they’re in a public place in Britain, and he’s got the right to film, there’s a lot of agitation, and almost a threatening vibe from the man who is speaking to Kavanagh. This man does not take “no” easily. 

    The group gets the police involved, and it’s obvious that the police just want to “smooth over everything”. The Chinese man accused Kavanagh of being a racist, which, if I understand correctly, could get Kavanagh in legal trouble under the guise of “non-criminal hate incident” – don’t laugh, it’s a real thing – and Kavanagh points out that he’s got the whole thing on camera, that he called them “communists” because they’re literally walking around the train station with their red scarves and Chinese communist flags. 

    Because Kavanagh refused to buckle, both under the pressure of the Chinese group and the police, he was able to walk away from the incident. However, the video has blown up, and the internet rumor is that this may actually have risen to an “international incident” behind the scenes. 

    One would hope that Kavanagh’s life isn’t ruined by this, that he won’t have to worry about some CCP goon getting revenge on him sometime down the line. On the flip side, I feel a little sorry for the Chinese group – they’re doing exactly what they’ve been programmed to do, and I think it’s ended up embarrassing China. Chinese people who embarrass China have a lot to worry about as well… 

    Here’s an interview with Kavanagh that came out about a month ago after he had an issue with security services before Christmas. It’s quite interesting; the man has a PhD in English and Latin and quit teaching because he got frustrated with the system, and he became a Youtuber rockstar… 

    Fascinating. His persona out in public is a little dumb when it comes to authority, like “I’m just a dumb guy chasing Youtube stardom at a piano, you’ve got better people to pick on.” Hearing him interviewed here, though, he’s quite sharp, and makes a lot of important observations. 

    After hearing the interview, it’s much less surprising to hear that he dug in his heels with the Chinese group, and God bless him for it. I think most people would have just concluded that it wasn’t worth the effort to keep arguing with them, that in the grand scheme of things, these little acts of defiance don’t matter. However, they do. No one expected this to become an “international incident”, and I’m not saying that Kavanagh won’t suffer for it, but he demonstrates that when it comes to matters of conscience, the choice to say “no” still exists. That is more important than words can express.

    I leave you with a few of Kavanagh’s “hits” – hopefully, it’ll be a joyful experience to listen to.

    A random aspiring opera singer:

    Add a violin:

    Mr. Boogie Woogie and Mr. Jazz

    How to fascinate three Dutch girls:

    Breathtakingly beautiful. Parts of this remind me a little bit of Yann Tiersen:

     Oh, and please, whatever you do, don’t go sharing this tweet around


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  • Sunday Gratitude – 21.I.2024

    Sunday Gratitude – 21.I.2024

    The temperatures have risen a bit; it’s still cold, but I’m thankful that it’s not nearly as bitterly cold as before, and that it looks like the snow may be melting this week. 

    I’m grateful to finally have a pair of winter boots. Some of you must be thinking that it’s crazy that I’ve lived so long so far north without them, but at some point, one often just kind of gets used to it. I remember the spring of ’97, which was so long in coming that I was out in shorts as soon as the temperature was coming up to freezing – but I lived in Minnesota, and I’m a descendant of Scandinavians who settled in Minnesota, so why should I have so much winter gear when the cold generally doesn’t bother me? But the boots do an excellent job of giving me grip on the snow and keeping my feet from freezing. 

    I am grateful that I was able to meet up with a friend whom I hadn’t seen since this summer. More than that, I’m glad he’s still around to still meet up with. These last couple years, I have felt, intensely, this notion of shared struggle and bearing each other’s burdens. I feel more able to get through things because I’m bound to others who are going through tough things. Should one of us fall, there’s not just the pain of losing a friend, but of losing some of that “webbing” that makes it possible to keep going myself. 

    I’m thankful that Oxy-clean takes out most washable marker marks on clothes, as my youngest decided to draw all over her white, knit dress today. 

    I’m grateful that some missing things have turned up due to cleaning. 

    I’m thankful to be exchanging messages with friends far and near. I’m thankful I saw the one clerk that I chat with the most at the local gas station today; it had been so long since I’d seen her that I thought maybe she stopped working there. 

    I’m thankful for the little child who sometimes thanks me for the most mundane things. (“Mommy, you washed my shirt? THANK YOU MOMMY!”)

    I’m grateful for God’s Love which is around me all the time.

    I’m grateful for the patience so many people have had with me.

    As always, I am thankful for you.


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  • Saturday on Substack – 20.I.2024

    Saturday on Substack – 20.I.2024

    I posted this earlier in the day on Substack, just catching up with the weekly roundup and such. Check it out here: https://open.substack.com/pub/breathofhallelujah/p/saturday-on-substack-20i2024


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  • Wordless Wednesday #56 – Two Bridges

    Wordless Wednesday #56 – Two Bridges








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  • Sunday Gratitude – 14.I.2024

    Sunday Gratitude – 14.I.2024

    Oh, man, is it cold outside! 

    I’m grateful to be in a warm house, certainly.

    I had a situation this week – a payment that was supposed to come earlier didn’t – and so I was in a little bit of a panic, as to a bill that needed to get paid today. I ended up scrambling around a bit today to take care of that, but was very grateful to see that the payment came through sometime between last night and this morning. I’m grateful that even if the payment hadn’t come through, I wasn’t totally out of options. 

    I’m grateful for some time alone; I got a project done that had been sitting, undone, for a year. It makes me feel better because now each one of the kids has their own of this item. 

    I’m grateful for the ladies at church who cheerfully stayed after realizing I had left my purse there. They didn’t know my number, so I was home before the phone tag caught up with me that this was where my purse was. I said that it would be a half-hour before I could get back to the church, otherwise I could pick it up from somebody somewhere later in the week, but the ladies who were cleaning up said they’d stay, and even said that they were glad for the time they had just to sit and chat with each other while I made it back. 

    I’m thankful that the car seems to be running well, even in the extreme cold. 

    I’m thankful that the boots I ordered last week are only slightly delayed, and not lost in Tacoma, as it seemed they might be earlier in the week. 

    I’m thankful I got to spend a few minutes checking out Lake Michigan today. 

    I’m grateful for God’s Love which is around me all the time.

    I’m grateful for the patience so many people have had with me.

    As always, I am thankful for you.


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  • Saturday on Substack – 13.I.2024

    Saturday on Substack – 13.I.2024

    I don’t feel like I necessarily have a whole lot to say, but if you want to get a glimpse of my week online, please follow the link: https://open.substack.com/pub/breathofhallelujah/p/saturday-on-substack-13i2024


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  • Resolutions, Progress, and Self-Love

    Resolutions, Progress, and Self-Love

    I don’t typically do New Year’s resolutions, and I suppose by this time, a lot of people have already given up on theirs. As so many people have pointed out, it’s almost impossible to get somebody to change drastically by will alone. Certainly, will is a part of that, and wanting to change is part of that. However, resolving to go to the gym five times a week when this is a total change from one’s routine is setting ones’ self up for failure. Sure, some people manage it, but most people are going to be discouraged after a few weeks and give up. 

    This isn’t to say that the goal isn’t laudable, but the path there isn’t practical. (Yes, I was listening to Jordan Peterson again, but he’s got some really interesting things to say. This isn’t exactly what he says, but it got me thinking.) When people want to make a change, even a small change for the better is good. However, to enact change takes some strategy and planning; rather than signing up for the gym plan, making time in one’s schedule for ten minutes of walking every day is probably a much more attainable goal. 

    For years, for a variety of reasons, I’ve basically quit reading books. It annoyed me a lot, and last year I bought a LOT of books. This year, not necessarily as a resolution, but because there’s so much I want to read, I’m trying to switch things around a bit to make that more possible, by telling myself that there’s a certain time that the chores should generally be done, and if they’re not, letting some of it go. Furthermore, I’m telling myself that even if I only manage ten pages, it’s better than nothing, but that it’s important to read from a book every day. I’ve also been using bookmarks to hold my place (to cut down on the time it takes to search for it) and I got myself a clip-on book light to improve lighting at night (they are remarkably improved from even 15 years ago!) We’ll see what happens. 

    Not my house! (AI image)

    Another thing I’m working on trying to change is getting chores under control. It seems like no matter what I do, I’m playing whack-a-mole with what needs to be done. If I catch up on folding laundry (which almost never happens), then something else falls apart, and at the end of the day (week, month, year) I’m completely frustrated and discouraged. I started using an app a couple of years ago, and that’s helped some. One of the neat things, though, is that the app has a timer, and can give you an “average time” of a task. Not that this works for everything, but I think I need to switch from “I need to work in this room until it’s done” to “I’m going to spend an hour on this now and come back to it next week.” Hopefully, if there’s a bunch of things that get an hour here or an hour there, things will feel better. 

    Another part to this is trying not just to get the daily/weekly things done, but to try to do something that’s longer-term along the way as well. With the app, I can schedule something for pretty much as much time as I want between actions, but it’s not terribly in sync right now. 

    This may sound like I’m contradicting what I said above about leaving things go, but there’s an interesting point that Peterson makes (assuming I have this right) about how, when we do things with the future in mind, it’s a form of loving one’s future self. In practice, if I take the time to finish putting the groceries away after getting back from the store, it’s saving the future me time (and possibly injury) from tripping over the jugs of apple juice. Again, there’s a balance – sometimes, there are decently good reasons that the things get left for later, but that it shouldn’t be anywhere near one’s “default mode”. 

    I know, I know, there’s nothing terribly earth-shattering – or even new – in all of this chatter, but I’ve always struggled with being able to be disciplined over the long haul, which makes creating the structure for that even harder. So maybe it starts here, just spending a bit of time every day reading, spending a chunk of the day with house chores so that they’re not completely overwhelming all the time, and getting to the point where it’s easier to write and do other things. It seems so much like the past couple years, especially, have been busy with taking care of one “fire” or another, and I’m exhausted. Giving up isn’t an option. Reviewing strategy, though, does seem to be necessary. 

    (P.S. Someone requested a list/post on books on my “to be read” list, and I’ll hopefully get to doing that soon!) 


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  • Wordless Wednesday #55 – House Blessing?

    Wordless Wednesday #55 – House Blessing?






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