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  • Sunday Gratitude – 5.IV.2026

    Sunday Gratitude – 5.IV.2026

    To those celebrating today – Christ is Risen! – Happy Easter!

    And then there are the “weird” ones here who are still waiting another week, among which I count myself. There have been a lot of services already – yesterday, I think I was in church for nearly four hours. I’ve really struggled this Lent; from the beginning, I felt less ready for it than most years and this year… wow. For the greater part of Lent, I believed that the Orthodox were also going to be celebrating Pascha today, and it was only looking at the calendar more carefully a couple of weeks ago when I realized that no, there’s a one-week difference. I don’t know. I wasn’t expecting to spend so much time in church this weekend, but I was at vigil last night, and I certainly had the feeling of moving from the darkness into the light, and by the time the service was over, there was an air of hopefulness and joy there. For that I am grateful. (My brain did fight against this on the way home, though. *sigh*)

    I am grateful for the more spring-like weather, and the opportunity to be outside. I’m also grateful for my neighbor who invites me to come walking with her.

    I am grateful for friends who take the time to talk even in the rain.

    I am grateful for making it home in a storm the other day; I wasn’t expecting it, then all of a sudden, I was driving down this country highway with lightning flashes all around. I don’t think that they were very close, as there was only a tiny bit of thunder, but what a show! The next day, driving down those same roads, I could actually see how high the water is, and I’m grateful that there were no issues with low-lying stretches of road or the bridges.

    Mourning dove in wreath
    Time to take the Christmas wreath down!

    I am thankful to have had a little bit of time to be outside with my kids, and I’m thankful that they have places around that they can enjoy riding their bikes through, and that they’ve been fine with this “exploring”.

    I am thankful for the joy of singing.

    I am thankful for the things that are showing signs of life (and even blooming) even after a very cold winter and long periods of neglect.

    I am grateful for the opportunity to have been in contact with a number of people on this day, in the joy of Easter.

    I am grateful for yet another sign that I’m not alone through the hard stuff.

    Thank you so much for being here! Christ is Risen!

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  • Sunday Gratitude – 29.III.2026

    Sunday Gratitude – 29.III.2026

    I really hate it when it seems like I blink and yet another week has passed. Somehow so much of this time ends up feeling like a blur, and it seems like all that is left is a growing list of things that should have been done long ago, but haven’t been done yet.

    In the meantime, though, I’ve been trying not to lose a sense of gratitude, and to also try to make the most of the days at hand. We’ve had a couple of days that have hit 70F, which has been amazing, and especially as the days are getting longer, it would be terrible if we didn’t do something to take advantage of the warmer weather. My younger son had a day off of school a couple of weeks back, and the two of us went out on our bikes and rode ten miles together, and it was amazing. He also started taking pictures with my camera that afternoon, so I’ll be sharing a few of those in this post.

    Broken pier Wind Point Lake Michigan

    A couple of weeks after the real birthday, my youngest, in kindergarten, had her first real birthday party. It was a bowling alley affair, and, per the terms of the contract, was less than two hours long, but for a group of 5 and 6 year olds, it was fine. I was completely stressed out over this for at least a week for a number of reasons, but it turned out really, really good. Even the weather held out, kind of… It started raining about the time that the party started, and it was still raining as people left. Had we started a couple of hours later, everybody would have been going home in sleet, because we had a blizzard come through the next day. The kids were thrilled to get the day off of school, and despite the crazy wind, we never lost power. The next day, our dear neighbor made a path for our car using a snowblower.

    I’m grateful that even though I managed to break a spoke on the one bike (a different one than before), this happened in a place where I could ride to a place where I could leave the bike for a couple of days, and which was very close to the bike shop. On the night that this happened, I was also able to get a ride back home with one of the ladies from church. I’d never talked to her before, and she’s incredibly sweet, and lives just a couple of streets over from where I live.

    I’m grateful for the amazing time I had at St. Haralambos in Niles a couple of weeks back. Not only were some very dear “real life” friends there, I finally got to meet Fr. Andrew Damick in person. We have been online acquaintances (friends) for over 20 years, and it seemed like high time to meet him in person. He actually recognized me by sight as well, which is crazy because it’s been a looong time since I posted any photos of myself that he might come across. 🙂 That was a lot of fun, though.

    Breezy days and kites!

    I am grateful, as well, for the opportunity to visit an old friend and just enjoy sitting on the front step, having a conversation in the sunshine.

    In many ways, I feel pulled very, very, very thin. There have been a lot of good things, to be sure, but there have been a number of very, very frustrating things as well. I don’t know; at this point, I’m not sure that I’ll ever have things “figured out”, but there’s a path to go forward on, and that’s the way through this all. Forgive me again for the blog silence – I truly am grateful for you.


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  • Songs of the Season 2023 – Varpunen jouluaamuna – Jarkko Ahola

    Songs of the Season 2023 – Varpunen jouluaamuna – Jarkko Ahola

    I saw some people joking about how dark Finnish Christmas songs tend to be. I can’t actually speak to that, but this is definitely one of Finland’s favorite Christmas songs. It’s called “Varpunen jouluaamuna” which translates to “The Sparrow on Christmas Morning” and originally dates back to 1859. 


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  • Saturday on Substack – 16.XII.2023

    Saturday on Substack – 16.XII.2023

    I don’t have a lot to say other than if you’d like to see this week’s odds and ends, check out the post here: https://open.substack.com/pub/breathofhallelujah/p/saturday-on-substack-16xii2023


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  • Songs of the Season – O Holy Night – The Barra-MacNeils

    Songs of the Season – O Holy Night – The Barra-MacNeils

    “O Holy Night” is one of my favorite Christmas songs. It’s challenging to sing because of the range, and because there are so many notes that are just held, there’s a huge temptation to make the song very dramatic with those notes. 

    This is a version that’s very simple, but keeps a certain simplicity to it, which I like.


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  • “A Hidden Life” movie impressions

    “A Hidden Life” movie impressions

    Maybe it was the stories of Daniel in the lion’s den, or the stories of Christians holding on to their faith under the yoke of Communism that I kept hearing in school in the 1980s, but for the majority of my life now, I’ve been intrigued about why people resist tyranny. Obviously, it would be much easier for them to keep their heads down and not attract undue attention and do their best to get through it. 

    Hidden Life title
    Title photo

    The tyranny of Adolf Hitler and the Nazis is one that is easily misunderstood. We can comfortably look back and say, “Well, of course he was a monster,” but it wasn’t necessarily so easy coming into it. Besides the legal pressure to conform, the societal pressure was incredible as well, after all, if someone didn’t want Germany to succeed, they must certainly want his friends and neighbors to end up as slaves to another power. Blood traitors and all that.

    Yet there were those few who risked everything to stand up. I’ve gone deeply into the history of the White Rose. Franz Jägerstätter was also one of these, though he did not attempt to encourage any widespread resistance to the Nazi regime, through his faith, he got to a point where he felt like swearing allegiance to Hitler was a sin, and he simply would not do it, come what may. 

    This movie, which came out in 2019, is very atmospheric. The majority is set in the mountain village in Austria where Franz Jägerstätter, his wife, and three little daughters lived. When his friends and neighbors find out that Franz refuses to “help the cause”, they put enormous pressure on the whole family to change their ways. After all, if their husbands, sons, and brothers are fighting for Germany, why should this man refuse? Yet the Jägerstätters continue on, bearing it all to the best of their ability. 

    Movie still

    What was somewhat surprising was seeing how, even in the 1940s, in this remote place, how much of the farmwork was done by hand. It seems like due to the location in the mountains, there wasn’t even a lot of farm work done with animals, that everything happened – the planting, the sowing, the reaping – through backbreaking labor, and that when Franz is away, his wife Fani has to take that up. But what other choice does she have? The men are away and if these things don’t get done, they starve. 

    Even so, Fani Jägerstätter supports her husband until the end. In fact, some of the people felt like Franz became more religious because of her, and to a large degree, it was her fault that he did this. It seems like it is only when Franz is in prison, awaiting execution for his “treasonous” activities, that there starts to grow a begrudging respect for the Jägerstätters, because by the summer of 1943, there were actually plenty of people who knew Germany couldn’t win this war, and they knew their men were being sacrificed in the name of an evil tyrant. 

    Movie still

    I liked the movie quite a bit; apart from the heavy subject matter, there’s nothing objectionable – no swearing, no sex, etc. My 7-year-old caught me watching and watched with me for at least a half an hour near the end. I stopped watching before the execution because I wasn’t sure how they would handle that, and I didn’t want a traumatized child on my hands, but when I watched the last five minutes by myself, there was nothing there that would have been terrible for her to see. 

    It’s interesting, too, how they handled the language. The entire cast is German-speaking, but they speak English for the film. There’s a fair amount of “atmospheric” chatter that happens in German – even some that does sound somewhat more in dialect than standard German, and for the most part, I think that worked. 

    I feel like I do want to watch this movie again. Despite what happens, the location and cinematography are breathtaking, but at the same time, the director did a good job of demonstrating that the life up there wasn’t an easy one. Franz Jägerstätter stood up against the powers that be for the sake of his home there, the irony, of course, being that because he resisted, he was taken from that home and thrown into a prison under terrible circumstances, never to come out again alive. Here is where the common thread with a large number of those who stood up against tyranny can be found; as much as he loved his life, he loved God more, and walked in the certainty that there are worse fates that can befall a person than physical death. Franz Jägerstätter’s life bears witness to that, and to God’s truth, which he stood for. The Catholic Church beatified Jägerstätter as a martyr in 2007, and his feast day is May 21, on the anniversary of Jägerstätter’s baptism. 


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  • Songs of the Season 2023 – Merry Christmas allerseits – Udo Jürgens

    Songs of the Season 2023 – Merry Christmas allerseits – Udo Jürgens

    There are songs that manage to be bilingual pretty well, think Jose Feliciano and “Feliz Navidad“, “Angels We Have Heard on High“, or even “In Dulci Jublio“. This, however, is not one of them. Not by a long shot.  Not only does he try to put English in the German word order, with the auxiliary verbs at the end, he fails to use proper English pronouns, using the German language genders instead, and randomly word-swaps. It’s so bad, it nearly had me falling out of my seat laughing. 

    h/t Jordan Prince for the heads up. As he commented, it gets better every time!


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  • Orthodox Help Reblog – Seminarian fighting cancer

    Orthodox Help Reblog – Seminarian fighting cancer

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  • A Dark Road to Fargo

    A Dark Road to Fargo

    The night was dark and cold, which wasn’t unusual, considering that it was December and we were somewhere in the middle of nowhere, roughly a dozen miles east of Fargo, North Dakota. The snow wasn’t unusual either; if it had been worse, I probably wouldn’t have been driving, as I was 18 and only on a learner’s permit. 

    The car was an old station wagon which belonged to my boyfriend, and it was a definite improvement from the death trap Mazda that he had owned before. In fact, this was the reason that he had the station wagon; he had taken the Mazda to the shop and the guy there said that there was no way it could be fixed up to an acceptable level to drive safely on the road. The station wagon was one of his loaner cars, and he offered that to my boyfriend for a decent price, and the deal was done. 

    I know it’s not Fargo, and you know it’s not Fargo, but does the AI know it’s not Fargo?

    It was a little after 9pm, which, in New York City is just when the party is getting started. In northern Minnesota, though, the road seemed to be ours alone, and I was looking forward to pulling into Fargo. The darkness and the emptiness didn’t necessarily bother me, but I knew I’d feel better actually being at our destination. Being 1997, we didn’t have cell phones or internet radio; on certain stretches, we were lucky to get halfway decent radio reception. We were but just one tiny point of light travelling along the road. My boyfriend had grown up in this area, and nights like these were just a part of life up there, but as a city kid whose thoughts wandered a lot, the darkness, emptiness, and cold made me feel as though it was all that we could do in these moments to keep them all at bay in order to not be consumed by them.

    On the right side, off on the shoulder was a car with its emergency flashers on. Being from Chicago, it barely registered; people brake down, help gets sent out to them. One has to be careful about these things; not only is it incredibly dangerous to stop when you don’t know what you’re doing, one never knows if it’s some sort of trap either. For this reason, I registered that it was there, and with barely another thought, kept going.

    “Pull over!” my boyfriend told me.

    “What?” I was more than a little confused.

    “Pull over!”

    I knew he meant it, and so I went about the task of pulling over to the side in a safe manner. Still confused, I asked him why we were pulling over. I knew it had something to do with the car on the side of the road, but I wasn’t comprehending exactly what we’d accomplish here.

    “There might be people in that car,” he said. ”I’m going to go check. That’s what we do up here.” 

    It finally dawned on me why we stopped. Yes, I can be slow to the obvious sometimes. If someone needed help, there was no way to know without stopping. It was possible that everything was fine. However, if it wasn’t, who knew when the next car coming by might be.

    My boyfriend trotted back to the car. I kept glancing back, but I was terrified to get out. He was back there for what seemed like a very, very long time, and then he came back, reporting that there was a lady with kids in the car and they were on their way to Fargo to pick up her husband from work when the car broke down, and that they’d been sitting there for ten minutes already because there was next to nobody on the road. According to the lady, she’d be okay if she could get to her husband; he’d be able to take care of the car and everything. 

    Very, very carefully, I backed up on the shoulder to get closer to the other car. When I was decently close, I stopped, and my boyfriend got out again to go by the lady to help her. She got out of the car, and as she got the kids out, I realize that they were little. Once she got to the car, I think she said that they were 3 and 18 months. Even being 18, imagining being broken down with two little kids like that really hit me hard. How long would they had to have waited if we didn’t stop? 

    In any case, the station wagon had plenty of room for the three of them in the back seat. All three of them were incredibly quiet back there while I drove into Fargo. As we got into the city, she started giving directions as to where to go. I basically knew how to get to North Dakota State University by myself, so to deviate from this course, I needed a bit of hand-holding. The woman found her husband at his job, I’m sure cash was offered and refused, everybody was good, and we said our farewells. 

    I’m sure most of us have had those moments in our lives where we’ve been really thankful for an “angel” to help us out of a bit of trouble. I think that this was the moment in my life where I understood that it’s important as a matter of course to keep our eyes open to opportunities to be that “angel” for others as well. At the same time, “this is what we do here” normalizes this type of behavior, and makes it possible to build actual communities. Funny how “bear each other’s burdens” is fundamental in multiple ways! 


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  • Songs of the Season 2023 – A Child is Born – Arbo

    Songs of the Season 2023 – A Child is Born – Arbo

    (I’ve never embedded a Spotify element before, so bear with me if it ends up wonky!)

    I hate to admit that advertising works, but sometimes it does. 

    A few days ago, I was scrolling through Instagram… I know a few people “in real life” over there, but mainly I enjoy certain funny and “nerdy” pursuits over there; it’s been a way to laugh over the past few months. 

    For the most part, I try to ignore the ads; even with things that might be interesting, it seems like the prices on the advertised items are for people who have more money than sense. 

    A few days ago, though, I got an ad with a clip of this song, and the leading text was something like “What if G.K. Chesterton wrote a song?”. The song was playing, and it really caught my ear. I know next to nothing about Chesterton and his writings (though, considering how many times his name comes up, I should probably remedy that) but in the middle of a ton of Christmas songs with all the substance of cotton candy, this stood out. The song is called “A Child is Born”, and its lyrics are a selection from Chesterton’s 1897 poem, “The Nativity”. 

    I believe that if you click play here, you get a small section, but if you click to Spotify itself, you can listen to the whole song

    In any case, I’ll include here the entire poem.

    The Nativity

    For unto us a child is born. —Isaiah

    The thatch of the roof was as golden,
    Though dusty the straw was and old,
    The wind was a peal as of trumpets,
    Though barren and blowing and cold:
    The mother's hair was a glory,
    Though loosened and torn,
    For under the eaves in the gloaming—
    A child was born.

    O, if a man sought a sign in the inmost
    That God shaketh broadest his best,
    That things fairest are oldest and simplest,
    In the first days created and blest:
    Far flush all the tufts of the clover,
    Thick mellows the corn,
    A cloud shapes, a daisy is opened—
    A child is born.

    With raw mists of the earth-rise about them,
    Risen red from the ribs of the earth,
    Wild and huddled, the man and the woman,
    Bent dumb o'er the earliest birth;
    Ere the first roof was hammered above them.
    The first skin was worn,
    Before code, before creed, before conscience—
    A child was born.

    What know we of aeons behind us,
    Dim dynasties lost long ago,
    Huge empires like dreams unremembered,
    Dread epics of glory and woe?
    This we know, that with blight and with blessing,
    With flower and with thorn,
    Love was there, and his cry was among them—
    "A child is born."

    And to us, though we pore and unravel
    Black dogmas that crush us and mar,
    Through parched lips pessimistic dare mutter
    Hoarse fates of a frost-bitten star;
    Though coarse strains and heredities soil it,
    Bleak reasoners scorn,
    To us too, as of old, to us also—
    A child is born.

    Though the darkness be noisy with systems,
    Dark fancies that fret and disprove;
    Still the plumes stir around us, above us,
    The wings of the shadow of love.
    Still the fountains of life are unbroken,
    Their splendour unshorn;
    The secret, the symbol, the promise—
    A child is born.

    Have a myriad children been quickened,
    Have a myriad children grown old,
    Grown gross and unloved and embittered,
    Grown cunning and savage and cold?
    God abides in a terrible patience,
    Unangered, unworn,
    And again for the child that was squandered—
    A child is born.

    In the time of dead things it is living,
    In the moonless grey night is a gleam,
    Still the babe that is quickened may conquer,
    The life that is new may redeem.
    Ho, princes and priests, have you heard it?
    Grow pale through your scorn.
    Huge dawns sleep before us, stern changes—
    A child is born.

    More than legions that toss and that trample,
    More than choirs that bend Godward and sing,
    Than the blast of the lips of the prophet,
    Than the sword in the hands of the King,
    More strong against Evil than judges
    That smite and that scorn,
    The greatest, the last, and the sternest—
    A child is born.

    And the rafters of toil still are gilded
    With the dawn of the star of the heart,
    And the Wise Men draw near in the twilight,
    Who are weary of learning and art,
    And the face of the tyrant is darkened,
    His spirit is torn,
    For a new King is throned of a nation—
    A child is born.

    And the mother still joys for the whispered
    First stir of unspeakable things;
    Still feels that high moment unfurling,
    Red glories of Gabriel's wings.
    Still the babe of an hour is a master
    Whom angels adorn,
    Emmanuel, prophet, annointed—
    A child is born.

    To the rusty barred doors of the hungry,
    To the struggle for life and the din,
    Still, with brush of bright plumes and with knocking,
    The Kingdom of God enters in.
    To the daughters of patience that labour
    That weep and are worn,
    One moment of love and of laughter—
    A child is born.

    To the last dizzy circles of pleasure,
    Of fashion and song-swimming nights,
    Comes yet hope's obscure crucifixion,
    The birth fire that quickens and bites,
    To the daughters of fame that are idle,
    That smile and that scorn,
    One moment of darkness and travail—
    A child is born.

    And till man and his riddle be answered,
    While earth shall remain and desire,
    While the flesh of a man is as grass is,
    The soul of a man as a fire,
    While the daybreak shall come with its banner,
    The moon with its horn,
    It shall rest with us that which is written—
    "A child is born."

    And for him that shall dream that the martyr
    Is banished, and love but a toy,
    That life lives not through pain and surrender,
    Living only through self and its joy,
    Shall the Lord God erase from the body
    The oath he has sworn?
    Bend back to thy work, saying only—
    "A child is born."

    And Thou that art still in the cradle,
    The sun being crown for Thy brow,
    Make answer, our flesh, make an answer.
    Say whence art Thou come? Who art Thou?
    Art Thou come back on earth for our teaching,
    To train or to warn?
    Hush! How may we know, knowing only—
    A child is born?

    (And a little bit of further reading – https://www.abc.net.au/religion/a-child-was-born-gk-chesterton-on-the-mystery-of-the-nativity/10097488)


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  • Wordless Wednesday #51 – Ten Years ago, Schweitzer Mountain Resort

    Wordless Wednesday #51 – Ten Years ago, Schweitzer Mountain Resort






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  • Songs of the Season – Snow Snow Snow – Michael Ford & Sandra Boynton

    Songs of the Season – Snow Snow Snow – Michael Ford & Sandra Boynton

    Sandra Boynton is, of course, the author of numerous little kids’ books, and this is a little Christmas jingle that she and Michael Ford put together and illustrated/animated.

    And… I found the song here at Bluebird of Bitterness because it’s an amazing blog everyone should subscribe to! :) 


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