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  • Sunday Gratitude – 18.X.2026

    Sunday Gratitude – 18.X.2026

    Hi everyone! Glad to be back here. I’m still struggling with a lot, and there’s a lot that’s really overwhelming. However, I’m going to give it a shot as far as gratitude here.

    Most importantly, probably, is that my son had a surgery on his ear a couple of weeks back, and everything went really, really well. Yes, he had the same surgery back in February on the other ear, and it went really well, but there’s still a good bit of nervousness attached to all these things.

    St Louis arch and church

    Secondly, I recently took part in the Serbian Orthodox Choral Association’s annual choir festival. Because it was only a week after the surgery, I wasn’t going to go, but then there were people who had signed up who either couldn’t go or couldn’t sing, and I was asked if there might be some way that I could go. I managed to get things arranged, and I went. It was an amazing trip, and I hope to write about it separately. Most of us who went ended up driving, including the people I rode with, but everything went off without a hitch, there were no accidents or incidents with the driving, and the event was a lot of fun. I am very grateful for that, and for getting to see the city and experience the city a little.

    If any of you are interested, our choir’s performance can be found here (our group starts at 45:15):

    The weather has gotten cooler, and I’m grateful for that (St. Louis at over 90F was quite a shock to the system). This just seems to be one of those patches that is especially rough, so I’d appreciate your prayers for me and my kids.

    Orthodox Church St Louis

    Thank you ever so much for following; you are amazing!


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  • Sunday Gratitude – 19.XI.2023

    Sunday Gratitude – 19.XI.2023

    As much as I hate the reason why, I am grateful to sometimes have some time alone these days.

    I am grateful that it doesn’t seem like I’ve missed any of the things that I almost went into panic mode thinking that I had missed. I am grateful to be finding things that were missing for a long time. I am hopeful to continue on with that.

    I am grateful that I have found a priest who will hear my confessions.

    I am grateful that we haven’t had terrible weather. I’m not prepared in so many ways!

    I’m grateful that I have friends with whom I can chat on the phone for way too long! *L*

    I am grateful that it seems like there’s marked improvement in my feet; that with simple things, such as stretching, the pain is subsiding.

    I am grateful to be witness to so much late autumn beauty.

    I am thankful for you.


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  • Saturday on Substack – 18.XI.2023

    Saturday on Substack – 18.XI.2023

    Another crazy week! And another Saturday on Substack post! Come check it out! https://open.substack.com/pub/breathofhallelujah/p/saturday-on-substack-18xi2023


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  • Songs of the Season 2023 – Faeries – Mannheim Steamroller

    Songs of the Season 2023 – Faeries – Mannheim Steamroller

    Sure, it’s the “Dance of the Sugarplum Fairy” from Tchaikovsky’s Nutcracker, but it’s a fun Mannheim Steamroller take on it. 🙂


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  • Songs of the Season 2023 – Song for a Winter’s Night – Erin Propp, Larry Roy, & Julian Bradford

    Songs of the Season 2023 – Song for a Winter’s Night – Erin Propp, Larry Roy, & Julian Bradford

    I’m not ready for full on Christmas songs yet, so today I’m sharing a beautiful cover of Gordon Lightfoot’s “Song for a Winter’s Night”. (I posted the original last year here: https://breathofhallelujah.com/2022/12/27/songs-of-the-season-gordon-lightfoot-song-for-a-winters-night/ ). Reading that post, I think I was actually looking for a cover similar to this to post last year and couldn’t find it.


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  • Songs of the Season 2023 – O Come, O Come Emmanuel – Anna Hawkins

    Songs of the Season 2023 – O Come, O Come Emmanuel – Anna Hawkins

    For Orthodox Christians on the New Calendar, the Advent fast began on Wednesday and will continue through Christmas Eve, December 24. With temperatures this week hitting the mid-60’s, it somehow feels like we’re stuck in the second week of October, though the angle of the sun and the length of the days rebuke this lie. It’s hard enough to believe that Thanksgiving is next week, but what’s even harder to believe is that we’re also gearing up for Christmas already.

    Last year, I did daily postings of Christmas songs, which I really enjoyed. I’m also realizing now that with the kids and I being so sick last year, I think I had more time to do it, as I had zero energy for more than the most basic of chores in the house. If I’m kicking off the beginning of the Christmas season with the 15th of November, then I’m late here. However, our local “Christmas station” kicked off this afternoon, and for people on the Old Calendar, it’s November 28.

    In any case, whenever the “holiday season” starts for you, I’m going to try to do some posting of songs that will hopefully be enjoyable listening.


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  • Lilla Rose Fab Friday #3

    Lilla Rose Fab Friday #3

    For the latest Lilla Rose posts, please check out the following:

    The author of this blog is a “Flexi Rep/Affiliate” with Lilla Rose, and is not employed by Lilla Rose. Purchases made through this link <https://www.lillarose.com/katja> will earn the author a commission.

    Once again, I didn’t get a chance to post before the “spin” event on Facebook, but until tomorrow, the sitewide discount at Lilla Rose is 40%, which is amazing. If you have been debating trying out Lilla Rose, this is the time to do it! (My favorite things from this year have been the Sport XL and the hairbrush.)

    (Every Friday at 11am Pacific, the discount wheel at the Lilla Rose Facebook Page will be spun and a discount of that amount will be applied to orders made that Friday or Saturday. For those who join in live, there’s a chance to win a new release item. )

    To order, make sure to click through with my link; every little bit helps.

    https://www.lillarose.com/katja


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  • Journeying toward the Good

    Journeying toward the Good

    The Stand was the first book by Stephen King I read, and probably still my favorite. I was fourteen at the time, and though my mom was somewhat nervous of King’s reputation as a horror author, I had thoroughly outgrown the children’s section, and I was in desperate need of finding adult books that I liked. Many of my friends were into science-fiction and fantasy, and though I dabbled with that, I never got deeply into it. There were classics, but I didn’t know at all how to approach that.

    When King’s unabridged version of The Stand came out, it sat on the endcap of the Waldenbooks and piqued my interest. Truly, it’s less of a horror novel than it is more of a dystopian epic. My mom’s philosophy generally seemed to be that I read so much that as long as a book wasn’t truly inappropriate, she’d probably buy it for me because she trusted that I could process what I was reading with everything else.

    I devoured The Stand. At its core, it’s very much a good versus evil story, where a cataclysmic event happens, everyone is forced to take sides, and good and evil battle it out. In a sense, that’s one of the oldest plot lines ever, but it’s timeless because it’s a story that can be told a million different ways.

    There was a subplot where, being intentionally vague here, the good guys send spies over to the city of the bad guys. There’s a woman named Dana who becomes one of these spies. On paper, she’d seem like the type of person who would be drawn to the bad guys and if I remember correctly, there’s a little nervousness that she might defect. She remains true to her calling to the good, though, but as she is living in the city of the bad guys, she can’t help but be surprised at how much she really and truly likes many of the people living there. Under normal circumstances, these people would be neighbors and coworkers and friends, and there would be no quarrel with any of them. Yet she knew that if the good were to prevail, these people would have to convert or die, because as much as they were “nice” people, they had chosen to follow an evil master.

    For me, Dana’s surprise here was a profound realization for me. It drove home the fact that there are plenty of people out there who default to evil because they refuse to follow the good. They are still “nice enough” and carry out lives of respectability, order, and even perhaps “goodness”, but when actually called to the hard path of following the good, they take a pass on it. After all, what’s the use of voluntary hardship and sacrifice if this life is all we’ve got?

    It drove home, as well, that much of that which is evil is wrapped in shiny clothes. Satan may be the prince of darkness, but he’s also Lucifer, who is associated with the light, particularly with the dawn. Light and dawn are beautiful and hopeful things, but in the fallen angel, they are false and they hide the true nature of what he is.

    I’ve been hearing that it’s a “thing” right now for people to post themselves going through Osama bin Laden’s “Letter to America” and letting themselves be won over by how much they find that they actually agree with him. What is sad is that they don’t seem to realize that the best liars don’t lie all the time; they lie just enough to keep others believing no matter what they say. If someone lies half the time, that person is obviously unreliable. If a person is truthful more than 90% of the time, there’s a lot more leeway given in believing the person is correct, or that if he is wrong, he’s just mistaken, rather than trying to intentionally mislead. That’s only considering factual inaccuracies; there are plenty of different ways to lie, and there are ways to lie, like telling people what they want to hear, where the people hearing those lies eat up every word and beg for more.

    For this reason, I don’t think any of us should be surprised when we read the thoughts of some truly despicable people and find that we share many similar ideas. Over at David Burge/Iowahawk’s Twitter (X), he makes this point succinctly:

    And, for good measure, the follow-up (forgive the language, please):

    If people cannot realize or refuse to recognize that evil doesn’t usually advertise itself as the “fire and brimstone” caricature of itself, it’s a danger. At a fundamental level, we know this. It’s the reason children are warned of strangers offering candy. It’s why Delores Umbridge is arguably the scariest villain in all of the Harry Potter books. Why, oh, why, then, does it surprise so many that the people who have probably come closest to “pure evil” in history are not merely raving lunatics and that these people had reasons people were listening and following them? Why then, can they not seem to discern that even though a lot of these people had valid points on many issues, they still did evil things and led others to do evil, and that is not to be overlooked? I’m sure all of them would justify what they did. However, even though the choice between following the good and seeking justification is sometimes a fine line, justification is always going to be the inferior goal.

    I guess it’s all just a reminder that what each one of us is tasked in doing is training our own hearts to follow the good, come what may. Each one of us has our own journey, our own struggles, and our own joys. Seeking the Good can unite us in purpose, but we don’t have the insight into other’s hearts the way we do our own. Even people who look like they have it all together, who look like their lives are all sorted out and not messy haven’t necessarily made the best choices in life either, and so envy of them is a sad waste of time.

    There are so many pieces of this that are related but are slightly different that I’m having some trouble pinning down exactly how I want to close here, but the largest point remains that we shouldn’t be surprised when we see similarities in ourselves with people who do evil things; not only are they not all that different from us, they’re part of us as well. On the flip side, each one of us has the individual decision to follow what is good, and that is governed by a constant training of the heart. That training comes through experience and discernment, but that process begins really early. I’m sure my mom never expected that something out of a Stephen King book would be that memorable or meaningful to her 14-year-old daughter, but these lessons are all around, if we’re willing to pay attention.


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  • Sunday Gratitude – 12.XI.2023

    Sunday Gratitude – 12.XI.2023

    What a crazy week! I suppose the first thing that I’m grateful for is that I’ve made it to the end. As far as I know, I didn’t miss any appointments.

    I’m grateful to be starting with physical therapy. Thankfully, it seems like there’s nothing physically wrong with my feet; it’s just muscles that are contracted way past where they should be. It’s going to mean continuing on with all of this as a matter of habit, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

    I’m grateful for the seasonable weather, the sunshine, and that I got to go with the little girls to the park on Saturday. The park we went to is right on Lake Michigan, and it’s a truly beautiful spot. Much of the coastline in this area is made up of bluffs, from the tiny to pretty impressively large. There’s a fair amount of concern about the bluffs collapsing, but I don’t know that there’s anything that can be done. The people who built the old houses along the lake – the ones that are probably 100 years old – built them far enough back to account for the bluffs eventually falling. Houses that are more recent – say the 60s on – wanted more of the lake view, and many houses are now in danger or have had to be removed.

    It only looks as though the water comes to the wall – the bluff there is probably 80 feet, even if the vertical “fall” isn’t visible here

    I am grateful for that little voice that giggles at songs about tacos and which says, every once in awhile, “You’re the best, mommy”. Oh, how I’ll miss it when it’s gone.

    I’m grateful for long telephone conversations with friends, and the “bearing of each other’s burdens” that happens through that.

    I’m grateful that I didn’t have to get out of my pajamas on Friday! I’m grateful that I got to sit with the little kids and put on videos about music on Youtube.

    I’m thankful for silliness on Instagram. 🙂

    I’m thankful that even though I tend to sometimes not water my plants quite as regularly as I should, most of them are still alive, and I am grateful for the beauty of the sun shining in on them, despite what a mess the place is!

    I’m grateful to witness the magic an old cattail has for a six-year-old; open it up and the insides float away like clouds of fairy dust.

    I’m grateful that even my nine-year-old still will curl up on my lap and fall asleep if he isn’t feeling great.

    In any case, I ought to finish up here so I can get a little sleep, as the whole weekday routine starts over in just a few hours

    I am thankful for you.


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  • Saturday on Substack – 11.XI.2023

    Saturday on Substack – 11.XI.2023

    The time shift feels like we’re in more natural time, but boy, are the sunsets early! I’m finally getting this posted after a very, very busy week. Come check out the post here: https://open.substack.com/pub/breathofhallelujah/p/saturday-on-substack-11xi2023


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  • Weaponized AI. Merely Paranoia?

    Weaponized AI.  Merely Paranoia?

    Last Saturday, I needed some happy music as I was trying to do things around the house, and I ended up with a bunch of German pop songs. One of the songs on that list was a song called “Dusche” (“Shower”, as in “bathroom shower”) by Farin Urlaub, who is very successful both as a solo artist and as a member of the group Die Ärzte.

    Mind you, the video may not be for everybody, but I include it here because the video makes it pretty clear what’s being sung about and the translation is pretty decent. The whole story of the song is that this man finds himself fighting against his household items, as they have started a revolt and seem to be planning to assassinate him. He, in turn, becomes more unhinged as he fights against him. The place where the shower comes in is in the chorus, where he sings “And I’m sleeping in the shower, ’cause the shower sticks with me, it’s the only friend I have left in the entire world” and describes it as the only thing he can trust because it’s remained normal.

    Although it’s a hard rock track, and the video is even a *little* gruesome at the end of the video (kind of depends on one’s definition), I find the song hilarious. The premise is so ludicrous in the first place, and the overreaction of the protagonist is crazy. One assumes that the man singing is paranoid, but there’s just enough of the thread of reality holding him in that he can get words like “Haushaltsgegenstände” (household items) into the song.

    (The song even has an English Wikipedia article, which can be found here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dusche)

    The thing is, when I was listening to it on Saturday, a truly disturbing thought came to mind. The song came out in 2005, which was when I was still living in Germany. Yes, at that time, there were good computers, there were iPods, there were even cell phones – though my Siemens M35 had a text memory of 10 messages!

    Not to sound paranoid myself, because I do enjoy a lot of technology, but what we’re seeing in Artificial Intelligence these days actually makes the scenario of what happens in “Dusche” a lot more possible. I can’t imagine wanting “smart” items in my house already; for whatever advantages that they are supposed to give us, the disadvantages when they don’t work correctly seem to be more catastrophic than when normal things stop working… Maybe it’s just me.

    Sure, the idea of technology turned against us has been around for a long, long time, it’s a common theme even in early science fiction. However, the idea that one’s toaster could be used to attack somebody through artificial intelligence is the stuff nightmares are made of. Somehow, though, the more people bring this stuff into their homes, the more these crazy things are likely to come true at some scale. “Lockdown” or “house arrest” could come to have new meaning. Again, I don’t mean to be paranoid, but already cars come with their information and entertainment packages, and where and how that is all being used is being transmitted to others. As a passive thing, most people are probably fine with it – the people who objected back in the day were few – but it doesn’t take all that much imagination that there would be methods to weaponize that at some point, at least in theory.

    Seriously, I don’t think that weaponized AI is going to look like the video of “Dusche”. However, I think it is reasonable to be wary of going all-in with the “smart” homes and adoption of AI just for the sake of its adoption.


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