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I’m sitting here right now with my little girls watching the Super Mario Brothers Movie, which we’ve probably all seen a minimum of 25 times now, but it’s such a good movie – it reminds me a lot of 1980s cartoons! I broke out the blueberry mulled wine, and I’m heating it up in my German teapot with the candle teapot warmer. I promised the girls popcorn, and once the tea is a little warmer, I’ll probably get started on that. Despite everything, it’s sweet and cozy.

This is the first Thanksgiving where it’s been just me and the kids. Last year, they were with their dad, in large part because the oven here wasn’t working. I was sick besides, and spent pretty much the entire weekend sleeping. That was fine; I don’t think I would have minded sleeping the entire weekend this year either.

And yet, hiding every year isn’t going to be an option either. Over the last month or so, I’ve been working to clean the house and get things in some sort of order to be able to at least sit down around the table for Thanksgiving.

That didn’t happen either. Between all sorts of running around, things taking longer than expected, discouragement as the kids seem to be working actively against me, and then feeling sick – probably in part due to breathing in all the dust and stuff from the floors – I gave up. I ended up clearing off enough space on the dining room table to put the food down on and the kids – apart from the youngest – ate in their favorite spots in the house.

But we managed turkey and stuffing and potatoes and cornbread, also creamy corn with bacon. Despite all, I think the kids needed that some of the Thanksgiving “tradition” had been upheld. For that reason, I’m glad I went through the trouble.

I try to cultivate gratitude always; I have the strong sense that it’s the only way to get through the tough times without becoming incredibly bitter or going insane. However, as everyone else was posting about the things that they are thankful for yesterday, I just couldn’t.

Sure, I get that it’s part willfulness. I have plenty to be thankful for, and I don’t want to forget that. At the same time, I’m human, and there are limits, and over the last couple of weeks, I’ve been hitting some of them.

It’s funny, though, how God always has ways to teach us things, if we are willing. As the run-up for Thanksgiving was happening, I chatted with an old friend who has had a really rough couple of years, who also has five little kids. The two of us could whine and complain to each other, but as serious as some of these things are, it’s a blast chatting with her. I think it’s definitely part of the directive to bear each other’s burdens. And when she heard that I had no set plans with the kids, she said to me, “If y’all don’t mind sleeping on the living room floor, y’all could come by us.”

Oh Lord. No, I wasn’t going to take the kids all the way to St. Louis for Thanksgiving, but the idea that this friend, with all the stuff that’s happened with her family can still be so full of love and hospitality… It’s humbling. It’s also a reminder that it’s important to keep going, because if this friend can keep putting one foot in front of the other, it makes it seem a little more possible for myself as well. God doesn’t leave us.

It’s getting late and kids need to get to sleep. For whatever reason, I felt like I needed to write, even if it’s not the most upbeat or traditional post. I hope all of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving! If it wasn’t as good as some, well, sometimes that’s just the case.

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